OTRSS/Log/NJ0304

Towards XMas in Joisy

Wednesday 17 December 2003, airborne

Flying just south of Lake Tahoe, southeastward. Took off from Sacramento almost on time. Now there's a very snowy landscape below, like vast sheets of German cookies dipped in powdered sugar but colder.

Flying just south of Tahoe, Emerald Bay was visible, and then Carson City and Valley -- we could see where Virginia City should be. Then further southward -- off to the right we saw Mono Lake and vicinity, snow on all the mountains and lakes and valleys to the west. Snow on the desert to the east. Snow everywhere. Thus we slalom down our first run of this winter's cross-country trek: Back East.

LATER: we're crossing the Basin and Range province, 45 minutes out, snowy peaks at the horizons, snowy mounts and desert valleys below. At least the lower areas aren't snowbound. Yet. Wait for the next weather system...

YET LATER: an hour out, looks like we're over the Colorado Basin's canyonlands, vast escarpments and deep ravines, loo-ong deep barrancas, cutting thru the eroded flats. And more snowy peaks of course. That's on the left side, the east. On the right, the west (so surmised because of how the sun shines), ah some lakes, and that might be a coal-fired power plant down there, and this might be an arm of Lake Mead or Lake Powell.

So now 70 minutes out, we're going over Monument Valley, talking about seatmates here about maybe rolling through it in a couple months. That'll be a relief.

EVEN LATER: Nothing else to see but ground lights as we approach and depart Dallas (time enough for a Chinese-oid meal) and later approach Newark. Hours and hours of nothing but airline ambience. Thumbscrews would be an improvement.

Thursday 18 December 2003, Englishtown NJ

Yesterday was a long travel day, 14+ hours from house to house. Cars, airports, airplanes. Finally made it to Sharon and Fred's, unpacked, settled in. Apparently sometime in the night I crashed around and broke things. I don't remember any of that. Bother. Now it's late afternoon and I'm finally getting up. The view from the window is impressive but grey. Looks cold out there.

Joisy Hospital-ity

Friday 19 December 2003 - Freehold NJ

CentraState Medical Center. Emergency room. Heart gone wonky. Atrial fibrillation. Long drive-flight from Volcano to Sacramento to Newark to Englishtown, snow to snow, for a couple weeks at the Helldorfers'. But then I go tachycardic and here I am.

Early 20 Dec 2003 Sat - Freehold NJ

WEDNESDAY: That Wednesday was long, long - up at 6am, leave for Sac at 8, leave Sac at noon, lay-over in Dallas, reach Newark NJ at midnite, arrive Englishtown after 1:30. Haul bags upstairs, unpack, have a drink, shower, crawl into bed. Wander around and fall down, apparently - I don't remember.

THURSDAY: By 2pm Thursday I was somewhat awake, Maureen forced a small sandwich into me. By 4pm I'd dragged out of bed and dressed. Gazed out the high window, down at the deer munching in the garden. Then I bent down to pick up shards of some pottery I've stumbled into. And when I stood up, my heart went into irrelevant overdrive.

I quickly sat in the only chair (padded, nearby). No strength to move. After 45 minutes I crawled over to the bed, found the cellphone, and called downstairs for help. Some minutes later, after sliding my butt down the carpeted long stairway, cops and ambulances were at hand.

(Those emergency personnel not directly tending me stood around exclaiming at the hugeness of the XMas tree in Fred & Sharon's foyer, 20 feet tall and fully loaded. Some people build their houses around such a tree. How did you get it in here? It was wrapped. How do you get it out of here? Fred chops it up with a chainsaw. Really)

EKG. Evidence. Drugs. Transport. ER by 5pm. Seven hours in ER.

ER folks scrounged up a few sandwiches for me. Returning ambulance crews asked if I was only there for the food. Before starting blood thinners I got an MRI to see if my head's damaged from the fall. Sometime after midnight I was installed in room 323 of the Freehold House of Pain aka CentraState Medical Center. Another sandwich. But eating these sandwiches hurts, strains the bruise on my right temple which I probably whacked while falling. Reminders of mortality. Pain sucks.

ONWARDS: So Wednesday was endless, Thursday was awful, Friday was spent abed, and now it's early Saturday and I *may* be released later today but must return Monday for a cardiac stress test. Had another echocardiogram Friday. No results yet.

And now I have a tentative explanation and gameplan. The culprit: atrial fibrillation. The causes: stress, caffiene, alcohol. The consequences: blood clotting, possible stroke. The treatment: probably drugs, and strict daily limits on coffee (2 cups) and wine (1 glass). Or less. Bummer.

Maureen and Sharon sat with me throughout Thursday's ER experience. Maureen sat with me most of Friday, will be back later today. And from now on I'll probably not be left unattended, ever again. Bother.

EARLY: Besides the company I have more hospital food to look forward to. Meals yesterday were uninspired but pretty adequate. I'm under no illusion that I'm feasting at Chez Panisse or Lisa Hemenway's bistro or Maison Panza Verde but it's fresh and wholesome and not flavorless. And early this morning, another turkey-lettuce-tomato-whitebread sandwich and crackers, gratis.

At least the staff here has stopped sticking me for now. I hate it when those sweet young thangs keep poking holes in me, especially when they come up dry. I have thick skin, elusive veins, sensitive nerves. Ratz.

(I talked with a young Russian nurse about California - she said she'd been to San Diego with her boyfriend, loved it there, the people are so friendly, NOT LIKE HERE in Joisy.)

IV pumps are squirting stuff through tubes into my right forearm inside the elbow. Every time I keep my elbow bent, and when eating or reading or sleeping, an annoying beeping alarm triggers: OCCLUDED DOWNFLOW. I have yet to hack the alarm circuit. Finally a Korean nurse ties a sock over the IV site, easing the tube-creasing Ah, the flows are no longer blocked, the alarms are silenced, I can use my arm again.

The routine: Read a bit (Forsythe's The Fist Of God, maybe listening to a CD (Moby or John Fahey, etc) if the roommate is noisy. Eat something. Pee into a jar. Sleep a bit. Be awakened by vampires. Read some more. Pee some more. Doze some more.

The routine down not improve with time, nor does it become easier, except maybe marginally, with familiarity. The routine is a machine of imperfect humanity.

My roommate is Richard too. His heart is rotten too. This is the Rotten-Hearted Richard Room. How convenient. How rotten.

I have just witnessed an older ritual, a drive-by mackeral-snapping.

MID-MORNING: My assigned physician Dr Agrawal appears, then the cardiologist Dr. Mentle. The latest word: I'll be here another couple days. Tomorrow, monitor, Monday morning, cardiac stress test. Monday afternoon, results and evaluation and probable release. And just barely in time.

LATER: Maureen, Sharon and Roberta appear and visit awhile. Lunch. Maureen buys me some books, leaves. The afternoon passes. Dinner, The IV pumps beep and flash red and shut down occasionally. I'm filthy, no bath or change of bedclothes. By evening I've been here two days.

Barbi calls, she's looking forward to visiting Tuesday. Mom calls. This room is $2000 per day but phone and TV are extra. Go figure.

Sunday 21 December 2003 - Freehold NJ

VERY EARLY: Still wired up to the drug machines (IV pumps) on their rolling tree. More overnight sandwiches. More overnight isolation. More malignant robotic beeps.

MIDDAY: Maureen visits after I've showered off the hospital stench. Roberta and Sharon arrive after lunch, in time to witness my destruction - the RN tries to start a new IV in my left wrist, hits a sensative spot, leaves me crying.

Then the cardiologist arrives, pulls me off IVs totally, sez that on the echocardiogram my aorta looks enlarged (it could rupture) and that I need a CAT scan tomorrow. But at least I'm cut free from the tubing, the beeping, the rolling tree. FREE!

EVENING: Vampire. Doze. Pee. Eat. Read. Await next vampire whike sitting easily at bedside in a comfortable chair (I snagged one of the big ones). But I have aching arms from needle jabs, shooting pain in left wrist and thumb, a sore butt from hospital furniture. And away from the window, the radio gets nothing. This is the fifth day of vacation.

What to expect: Due to stress test tomorrow it's NPO (nothing by mouth) (except meds) after midnight. No water, no decaf, no sandwiches. Nothing except hunger and vampires.

What to expect: Roommate old Richard snores. The background ventilation noise sounds like an ambient ocean; his snores are turbulent waves rushing to shore. Expect more.

What to expect: Does the stress test include exhaustion? Do it; then hours until images gained therein are developed and analyzed. In the meantime a CAT scan sometime, somewhere. Undoubted confusion and dislocation. Better hang on to my valuables.

HOLIDAYS: My roommate came here to be evaluated for a pacemaker. A nurse cut his drugs, without orders, so the drugs were restarted and his stay extended. Cardiologist read his charts and finally ordered the pacemaker, to be installed tomorrow. He complains that the surgery will ruin this holidays. He is wrong. The holidays start when we get out of here.

Monday 22 December 2003 - Freehold NJ

Morning(1): awakened by vampires, then unconscious again
Morning(2): gotta wake up, too much noise, need painkiller
Morning(3): breakfast arrives, can eat it in 4 hours, yum
Morning(4): meds given, Maureen arrives, where's my test?
Morning(5): stress test cancelled, CATscan still on, no food!
Morning(6): past 2 days here totally unnecessary, focking MDs
Afternoon(1): hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait, hurry...
Afternoon(2): everything is gathered but nothing happens
Afternoon(3): "It'll be any moment now" -- again, again...
Afternoon(4): almost closing time, but finally, the CATscan
Afternoon(5): shower, dress, RELEASED, rolled out, drugs
Evening(1): dine, declaim, decamp to bed; try not to fall

The Rest of the Year

Tuesday 23 December 2003 - Englishtown NJ

ESCAPED hospital late yesterday. Cardiac stress test cancelled in the morning, finally got the CAT scan late in the afternoon. Things looked nominal, so I was out. Dined and dazed at the inlaws' last night, slept intermittantly this morning. Then Barbi and Bill came down from New York, Gus and Jodie couldn't make it. Jodie was grieving for rabbits or something. Grieving for rabbits! We all had a fun day here, grand meals, good chat. Barbi sampled beers, got blitzed. Bill finally dragged her off. She threatened to come back on Saturday but, who knows?

No snow here during this run-up to XMas. Bright and warm, almost 50°f today. At worst it'll maybe rain the next couple days but no snow in the forecast, we'll not have a white XMas. And that's probably a relief. Other than that, nothing worth mentioning. My mind is not yet up to theorizing, nothing interesting to discourse on. So goodnight.

Thursday 25 December 2003 - Englishtown NJ

EARLY: XMas morning now. Christmas Eve Day was quiet. Very interior. Partial leftover brunch (with fresh eggs), partial leftover dinner (with fresh goose). And the XMas eve Opening Of The Presents. Quite a haul here, considering that just five retired / unemployed folks are involved. Probably today will be similar, starting with opening the Santa presents, then some brunch, then some sitting-about, not going nowhere, don't know.

Meanwhile I've been thinking about writing XMas songs but none come to me. New Year's songs, solstice songs, seasonal songs. And every now and then I start to get a hint of melody, but nothing sticks. No words stick. Finally yesterday I started catching up on my email, later today may do more of the same, express myself that way. Otherwise I'll just watch and listen to the rain when it comes.

LATER: No rain now (that was yesterday), just fresh windy frigid beauty.

Friday 26 December 2003 - Englishtown NJ

BOXING DAY, day after XMas. Not bad. Got up very early, made it thru the night, went off early for some day-after-XMas shopping at local purveyors of SantaPorn. Snarfed up some heavily-discounted seasonal goodies, returned to the house and crashed for a few hours, wasting the bright and beautiful (but cold) day.

(On the way we passed the hospital, where I was told that I was being returned to be *fixed* — but it's too late!)

Then we took off for Longwood Gardens, just this side of Delaware. The old Louis Du Pont estate, now an arboretum and botanic garden with huge conservatories, all done up in lights, a vast XMas show. Almost as good as Disneyland, ha ha.

(Crowds wound thru the vast conservatory space in realms of dark & light, almost a green hell except for the wonder & awe.)

And then coming back we stopped in Chadd's Landing (??) at the Chadd's Landing Inn (??) for a pretty good carnivorous dinner. Actually it was very good, almost up to California standards, ha ha. But it was a long long drive, two hours each way, my knees and legs in agony in the passenger seat of Fred's Dodge Durango. We'll do something different tomorrow.

PROSPECTS: Someday soon, we'll maybe have a plan. Still don't know from Kaiser Medical what's up, whether I do the cardiac stress test locally on Jan 2nd or visit a Kaiser facility around DC for such.

Thus we don't know when we're leaving here, or to where, or how much longer poor Petrushka will be in cat jail, or by what mode of transport we will get from coast to coast. Whether that will be by driveaway (unlikely) or train (also unlikely) or by air, with or without oxygen bottles on me.

But with luck I'll have medical clearance by the end of Friday 2 January. Our airline is booked solid on the 3rd and 4th so the soonest we could take off would be Monday the 5th. We'd hit Sacramento late that night, stay over in our booked motel, not get home until Tuesday sometime. Nearly three weeks out. Almost as long as the Italy trip and not nearly as exciting, inspiring, revivifying, or expensive (hopefully).

Somewhere in this next week-and-a-half we'll tour around a bit, get to the Philadelphia Print Shop in Chestnut Hill and other Philly sites. Otherwise we'll see how long it takes cabin fever to set in. [sound: computer chime] Ah, there's the midnight gong. It's now tomorrow. So I'll end the tape here.

Saturday 27 December 2003 - Freehold NJ

FRESH TAPE: Up sometime after sunrise, online awhile, then during the morning kitchen flurry a small plane appears outside the window, doing inside loops. Loops. Loops. They say this isn't common here, but it seems to mirror this visit. Mostly inside loops.

We went to the Freehold Racetrack Mall for a commercial immersion experience. They bought adornment, I bought art books (Rivera, Kahlo, O'Keefe, Klimt, Giger) and snapped shots of unsuspecting mall-rats.

Standards have declined: here's an old guy whose cap says KISS MY GRITS and here's a young guy whose sweatshirt says FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCKER and here are multiple geeks with multiple piercings. Babe magnets everywhere...

Tuesday 30 December 2003 - E-town NJ

MIDNIGHT (or a moment past): I'm holed up with the Tachen book on HR Giger and Dan Brown's informative but clumsily-written and -edited THE DA VINCI CODE, it's nightmare time (as manufactured for mass consumption rather than political-military expedience). And somewhat tedious, storylinewise.

SATURDAY was a do-nothing day.
SUNDAY was a day of rest.
MONDAY didn't include me, it was High Tea for the gals, then out for excellent Chinese dinner.
The theme for this visit is: INTERIORS.

LATER: Read all night,sleep all morning, liase with medical reps all afternoon (Maureen burning up the wires and burning out her brain). Devour homemade burritos in the evening, crash early. Maybe tomorrow we'll get the med schedule finalized, then go to Ellis Island. Or maybe not. Who knows?

Wednesday 31 December 2003 - E-town NJ

Ellis Island trip today cancelled - Bobbie not feeling good, revenge of the burritos. So the rest of us head for more post-XMas bargains, then on to quaint Red Bank NJ for window shopping, then to hospital to finally retrieve my medical records like a hamster storing seeds for the winter.

When asked, "What are your New Years plans for tonight?" I have no immediate answer. Just survive, I guess. Meanwhile my consciousness hits a brick wall. Splat.

LATER: I finally got inspiration for the next song-cycle: INSECT FEAR [sound: computer chime] Ah, there's the midnight gong. It's now 2004. Happy focking New Year, I hope. [fireworks outside] Just don't blow everything up.

2004: Next Year Already

Thursday 1 January 2004 - Freehold NJ

Happy 2004, eh? Usual sleep-wake-sleep cycle; then up at 9, breakfast by 10, back in hospital by 11. SOB (shortness-of-breath), dizziness, weakness - cardiologist sez to head to the ER for an EKG right NOW so here I am, wired up again. Shit shit shit.

(The upshot: The drug for atrial fib lowered my blood pressure too far, so I get a reduced dose now. And playing games at the pharmacy. Ok.)

NOTE: include letters giving details, emailed to kin & friends.

Saturday 3 January 2004 - E-town NJ

Thursday was occupied by the ER. Friday was occupied by the long painful Balmer (Baltimore) trip, with testing (NUCLEAR CARDIAC STRESS TEST) and crabcakes. Saturday was mostly sitting about, interrupted by our first drive by ourselves thru the countryside. And tomorrow? This is ALL like a stress test, and if I yell and throw things, I flunk.

Sunday 4 Jan 2004 - E-town NJ - YADND (Yet Another Do-Nothing Day)
Monday 5 Jan 2004 - Tests OK, we can leave now, but nothing today
Tuesday 6 Jan 2004 - Biting-cold windy do-nothing day with full moon

Wednesday 7 January 2004 - Airbourne

We're finally enroute and the day is already... odd...

NOONISH: We're up and fed and packed early. Sharon drove the Durango out front for loading. Then she locked the keys inside with the engine running, heater up full blast (it's 25°f outside). No other key can be found, So Fred called a locksmith while Sharon pulled the Caddy around and we barely shoehorned all passengers and luggage into the available space.

A straightforward drive to Newark, unloaded onto the frosty sidewalk and hauled into the over-warm terminal - and our ticket purchases (processed twice and confirmed once, albeit with trouble) HAVEN'T MADE IT into AA's system. Much delay and BS and we end up buying new tickets at the check-in counter. We will NEVER voluntarily fly on AA again.

(Maureen will write a long letter to the prez and offer her services as a system consultant. Yup.)

But now we're up and the puffy Pennsylvania clouds are far beneath us, and this miserable focking journey is nearing completion. NOTHING CAN GO WRONG NOW!! (oops...)

Those Pennsy clouds have lined up in long parallel rows stretching to the horizon. They seem to be sitting atop equally long parallel ridgetops while the valleys are clear - the Pennsy glacially-carved hill-and-valley pattern. Higher realms are dusted with snow. It is COLD out there.

EVENING: We landed OK at Dallas-FtWorth, walked 1/3 across terminal A from gate 28 to gate 14, and waited 1.5 hours. I strolled around snapping shots, catching the denizens unaware under too-dim lights. Then just at boarding time we're told that the departure has shifted to gate 24 -- and then it's to gate 34, back 2/3 across this huge terminal. Oy.

We think we're in a hurry and Bobbie's on a pacemaker so we request a shuttle cart. It eventually arrives, we wend our way thru the throngs and eventually reach gate 34. where we wait another 1.5 hours as darkness crashes down like halitosis from an extinguished dragon. Planes at both gates had hardware problems; a major NorthWest storm is crashing schedules continent-wide; ah, the thrill of winter air travel.

Our eventual departure was rather like the same liftoff eastbound three weeks ago -- Dallas after dark. Bands of lights along the business routes; many large rectangular buildings with lights dotted around their perimeters, set in large parking lots connected by street lights, the whole looking like clusters of night-lit ICs on a vast conurban circuit board. Then we fade into clouds and darkness, and I retreat into reading.

LATER: Maybe an hour out of Sacratomato I finish rereading the funny Hiaasen book (BASKET CASE) and turn off my light and look out the porthole and behold: a subcontinental landscape fiercely illuminated by the blazing full moon. Gnarly half-covered high ranges surrounding a vast snow expanse, seemingly level, with a bright light in its center, anchored by by a dimly-marked track. Then more mountains and valleys, more snowy expanses, and darker drier (but barely warmer) lowlands. The peaks and ranges stand out in thrusting stark relief.

Scattered along he horizon are a few lit towns, but mostly it's inky sky and snowy geography - Nevada, I suspect. Ah yes, there's Hawthorne (and its weapons depot) and Walker Lake just below with the Whites and Sierras beyond, lifting thru the frigid atmosphere.

Then it's the flashy burbs of the Carson Valley at the Sierra's base, then over the crest, over the minimegalopolis of South Lake Tahoe and the giant playful puddle of Tahoe itself and some glowing clouds. We roll dead across the lake deadened by resorts, where nobody is swimming just now.

Then the clarity fades, the clouds envelop us, and we're lost in bright foaming sky. We finally breach the mist on descent, looking over the wide carpet of lights of Greater Sacamento, Ahnold's realm. Our governor can beat up your governor.

Friday 9 January 2004, home

So we're back, but the adventure continues.

WEDNESDAY: We land, collect most of our bags (only the largest is lost), head for the MOTL, have a late meal at an incredibly loud TGIFriday (popular 20-something hangout), crash, etc.

THURSDAY: We're up surprisingly early. Back to the airport to retrieve that last bag (it once was lost but now it's found). Drive thru moderate rain south of Sac for fuel for car and people alike. Cross the Valley past the old Rancho Seco nukes, imbibing the fresh wet radioactive air and far snowy views and happy cow environs. Thru Ione for mail - didn't hit anything but I'm not driving.

Up to Sutter Hill to retrieve relieved cats from their durance vile, on to our Post Office for mail and a banjo-uke (only slightly damaged). Thru snow to drop Bobbie and Miss Puss at their abode, over to Ginny's to feed leftovers to Heidi (now a very happy St Bernard), down to the market for supplies and pizza, then up the ridge and we're HOME AT LAST! Set Petrushka free! Turn up the heat! Eat. Crash, Revive, Crash encore. Snore. Etc.

FRIDAY: Up early, fun fun fun, then call Kaiser to get me in the queue for inspection and evaluation. FIND OUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME, SET A COURSE OF ACTION! Then haul Maureen down to Jackson for PT (physical therapy). And my cellphone jingles: it's Kaiser, make the two-hour drive to Roseville TOMORROW for a medical consult. And since we have other LONG medical journeys set for Monday (Novato) and Wednesday (Roseville), we're immediately back on the every-other-day long-distance commute routine, like hamsters in an endles loop. Bother. I just want to rest awhile.

(A perspective: these recurrent medical trips suck. Being off alcohol and caffiene sucks. But ERs and death suck even more, so I grin and bear it. Grrr...)

We now return to our regularly-scheduled journal-mongering.

Transcribed Notes: Helluva Vacation	<< BACK << (( INDEX )) >> NEXT >> CONTENTS NOTES: transcribed — 2003 — Towards XMas in Joisy Joisy Hospital-ity The Rest of the Year — 2004 — And Next Year Already THEMES: songs Space Whores Welcome 2 America INSECT FEAR GALLERIES: images The Mall The IVs ACCOUNTS JOURNALS index Eat It! Food News Go2: Odd Moves SkeptiLog: Sightings Ridge Rat News River Rat News Desert Rat News THEMES SPACE WHORES Thru time and tide we roll the dice Thru fire and ice we pay the price Thru fire and ice we roll the ride Thru negligence and homicide Benevolence and cowardice - [chorus:] Space Whores on parade! Space Whores on parade! Space Whores on parade! WELCOME 2 AMERICA Walking thru the mall, stoned Revolution postponed Reinforcing fantasy Seeing you and me - [chorus:] Welcome to America, the land of the free Home of the mini-mall and cable TV Welcome to America, be what ya wanna be Just don't wanna be very much INSECT FEAR: A Song-Cycle Dance Of The Tarantulas Beetles Are Eating My Brain (Do The) MANTIS BOOGIE Impregnated By Gnats { The Worm } Spiders In My Soup Ants, Ants, Why All The Ants? (more to come)
Towards XMas in Joisy Wednesday 17 December 2003, airborne Flying just south of Lake Tahoe, southeastward. Took off from Sacramento almost on time. Now there's a very snowy landscape below, like vast sheets of German cookies dipped in powdered sugar but colder. Flying just south of Tahoe, Emerald Bay was visible, and then Carson City and Valley -- we could see where Virginia City should be. Then further southward -- off to the right we saw Mono Lake and vicinity, snow on all the mountains and lakes and valleys to the west. Snow on the desert to the east. Snow everywhere. Thus we slalom down our first run of this winter's cross-country trek: Back East. LATER: we're crossing the Basin and Range province, 45 minutes out, snowy peaks at the horizons, snowy mounts and desert valleys below. At least the lower areas aren't snowbound. Yet. Wait for the next weather system... YET LATER: an hour out, looks like we're over the Colorado Basin's canyonlands, vast escarpments and deep ravines, loo-ong deep barrancas, cutting thru the eroded flats. And more snowy peaks of course. That's on the left side, the east. On the right, the west (so surmised because of how the sun shines), ah some lakes, and that might be a coal-fired power plant down there, and this might be an arm of Lake Mead or Lake Powell. So now 70 minutes out, we're going over Monument Valley, talking about seatmates here about maybe rolling through it in a couple months. That'll be a relief. EVEN LATER: Nothing else to see but ground lights as we approach and depart Dallas (time enough for a Chinese-oid meal) and later approach Newark. Hours and hours of nothing but airline ambience. Thumbscrews would be an improvement. Thursday 18 December 2003, Englishtown NJ Yesterday was a long travel day, 14+ hours from house to house. Cars, airports, airplanes. Finally made it to Sharon and Fred's, unpacked, settled in. Apparently sometime in the night I crashed around and broke things. I don't remember any of that. Bother. Now it's late afternoon and I'm finally getting up. The view from the window is impressive but grey. Looks cold out there.
Joisy Hospital-ity Friday 19 December 2003 - Freehold NJ CentraState Medical Center. Emergency room. Heart gone wonky. Atrial fibrillation. Long drive-flight from Volcano to Sacramento to Newark to Englishtown, snow to snow, for a couple weeks at the Helldorfers'. But then I go tachycardic and here I am. Early 20 Dec 2003 Sat - Freehold NJ WEDNESDAY: That Wednesday was long, long - up at 6am, leave for Sac at 8, leave Sac at noon, lay-over in Dallas, reach Newark NJ at midnite, arrive Englishtown after 1:30. Haul bags upstairs, unpack, have a drink, shower, crawl into bed. Wander around and fall down, apparently - I don't remember. THURSDAY: By 2pm Thursday I was somewhat awake, Maureen forced a small sandwich into me. By 4pm I'd dragged out of bed and dressed. Gazed out the high window, down at the deer munching in the garden. Then I bent down to pick up shards of some pottery I've stumbled into. And when I stood up, my heart went into irrelevant overdrive. I quickly sat in the only chair (padded, nearby). No strength to move. After 45 minutes I crawled over to the bed, found the cellphone, and called downstairs for help. Some minutes later, after sliding my butt down the carpeted long stairway, cops and ambulances were at hand. (Those emergency personnel not directly tending me stood around exclaiming at the hugeness of the XMas tree in Fred & Sharon's foyer, 20 feet tall and fully loaded. Some people build their houses around such a tree. How did you get it in here? It was wrapped. How do you get it out of here? Fred chops it up with a chainsaw. Really) EKG. Evidence. Drugs. Transport. ER by 5pm. Seven hours in ER. ER folks scrounged up a few sandwiches for me. Returning ambulance crews asked if I was only there for the food. Before starting blood thinners I got an MRI to see if my head's damaged from the fall. Sometime after midnight I was installed in room 323 of the Freehold House of Pain aka CentraState Medical Center. Another sandwich. But eating these sandwiches hurts, strains the bruise on my right temple which I probably whacked while falling. Reminders of mortality. Pain sucks. ONWARDS: So Wednesday was endless, Thursday was awful, Friday was spent abed, and now it's early Saturday and I may be released later today but must return Monday for a cardiac stress test. Had another echocardiogram Friday. No results yet. And now I have a tentative explanation and gameplan. The culprit: atrial fibrillation. The causes: stress, caffiene, alcohol. The consequences: blood clotting, possible stroke. The treatment: probably drugs, and strict daily limits on coffee (2 cups) and wine (1 glass). Or less. Bummer. Maureen and Sharon sat with me throughout Thursday's ER experience. Maureen sat with me most of Friday, will be back later today. And from now on I'll probably not be left unattended, ever again. Bother. EARLY: Besides the company I have more hospital food to look forward to. Meals yesterday were uninspired but pretty adequate. I'm under no illusion that I'm feasting at Chez Panisse or Lisa Hemenway's bistro or Maison Panza Verde but it's fresh and wholesome and not flavorless. And early this morning, another turkey-lettuce-tomato-whitebread sandwich and crackers, gratis. At least the staff here has stopped sticking me for now. I hate it when those sweet young thangs keep poking holes in me, especially when they come up dry. I have thick skin, elusive veins, sensitive nerves. Ratz. (I talked with a young Russian nurse about California - she said she'd been to San Diego with her boyfriend, loved it there, the people are so friendly, NOT LIKE HERE in Joisy.) IV pumps are squirting stuff through tubes into my right forearm inside the elbow. Every time I keep my elbow bent, and when eating or reading or sleeping, an annoying beeping alarm triggers: OCCLUDED DOWNFLOW. I have yet to hack the alarm circuit. Finally a Korean nurse ties a sock over the IV site, easing the tube-creasing Ah, the flows are no longer blocked, the alarms are silenced, I can use my arm again. The routine: Read a bit (Forsythe's The Fist Of God, maybe listening to a CD (Moby or John Fahey, etc) if the roommate is noisy. Eat something. Pee into a jar. Sleep a bit. Be awakened by vampires. Read some more. Pee some more. Doze some more. The routine down not improve with time, nor does it become easier, except maybe marginally, with familiarity. The routine is a machine of imperfect humanity. My roommate is Richard too. His heart is rotten too. This is the Rotten-Hearted Richard Room. How convenient. How rotten. I have just witnessed an older ritual, a drive-by mackeral-snapping. MID-MORNING: My assigned physician Dr Agrawal appears, then the cardiologist Dr. Mentle. The latest word: I'll be here another couple days. Tomorrow, monitor, Monday morning, cardiac stress test. Monday afternoon, results and evaluation and probable release. And just barely in time. LATER: Maureen, Sharon and Roberta appear and visit awhile. Lunch. Maureen buys me some books, leaves. The afternoon passes. Dinner, The IV pumps beep and flash red and shut down occasionally. I'm filthy, no bath or change of bedclothes. By evening I've been here two days. Barbi calls, she's looking forward to visiting Tuesday. Mom calls. This room is $2000 per day but phone and TV are extra. Go figure. Sunday 21 December 2003 - Freehold NJ VERY EARLY: Still wired up to the drug machines (IV pumps) on their rolling tree. More overnight sandwiches. More overnight isolation. More malignant robotic beeps. MIDDAY: Maureen visits after I've showered off the hospital stench. Roberta and Sharon arrive after lunch, in time to witness my destruction - the RN tries to start a new IV in my left wrist, hits a sensative spot, leaves me crying. Then the cardiologist arrives, pulls me off IVs totally, sez that on the echocardiogram my aorta looks enlarged (it could rupture) and that I need a CAT scan tomorrow. But at least I'm cut free from the tubing, the beeping, the rolling tree. FREE! EVENING: Vampire. Doze. Pee. Eat. Read. Await next vampire whike sitting easily at bedside in a comfortable chair (I snagged one of the big ones). But I have aching arms from needle jabs, shooting pain in left wrist and thumb, a sore butt from hospital furniture. And away from the window, the radio gets nothing. This is the fifth day of vacation. What to expect: Due to stress test tomorrow it's NPO (nothing by mouth) (except meds) after midnight. No water, no decaf, no sandwiches. Nothing except hunger and vampires. What to expect: Roommate old Richard snores. The background ventilation noise sounds like an ambient ocean; his snores are turbulent waves rushing to shore. Expect more. What to expect: Does the stress test include exhaustion? Do it; then hours until images gained therein are developed and analyzed. In the meantime a CAT scan sometime, somewhere. Undoubted confusion and dislocation. Better hang on to my valuables. HOLIDAYS: My roommate came here to be evaluated for a pacemaker. A nurse cut his drugs, without orders, so the drugs were restarted and his stay extended. Cardiologist read his charts and finally ordered the pacemaker, to be installed tomorrow. He complains that the surgery will ruin this holidays. He is wrong. The holidays start when we get out of here. Monday 22 December 2003 - Freehold NJ Morning(1): awakened by vampires, then unconscious again Morning(2): gotta wake up, too much noise, need painkiller Morning(3): breakfast arrives, can eat it in 4 hours, yum Morning(4): meds given, Maureen arrives, where's my test? Morning(5): stress test cancelled, CATscan still on, no food! Morning(6): past 2 days here totally unnecessary, focking MDs Afternoon(1): hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait, hurry... Afternoon(2): everything is gathered but nothing happens Afternoon(3): "It'll be any moment now" -- again, again... Afternoon(4): almost closing time, but finally, the CATscan Afternoon(5): shower, dress, RELEASED, rolled out, drugs Evening(1): dine, declaim, decamp to bed; try not to fall
The Rest of the Year Tuesday 23 December 2003 - Englishtown NJ ESCAPED hospital late yesterday. Cardiac stress test cancelled in the morning, finally got the CAT scan late in the afternoon. Things looked nominal, so I was out. Dined and dazed at the inlaws' last night, slept intermittantly this morning. Then Barbi and Bill came down from New York, Gus and Jodie couldn't make it. Jodie was grieving for rabbits or something. Grieving for rabbits! We all had a fun day here, grand meals, good chat. Barbi sampled beers, got blitzed. Bill finally dragged her off. She threatened to come back on Saturday but, who knows? No snow here during this run-up to XMas. Bright and warm, almost 50°f today. At worst it'll maybe rain the next couple days but no snow in the forecast, we'll not have a white XMas. And that's probably a relief. Other than that, nothing worth mentioning. My mind is not yet up to theorizing, nothing interesting to discourse on. So goodnight. Thursday 25 December 2003 - Englishtown NJ EARLY: XMas morning now. Christmas Eve Day was quiet. Very interior. Partial leftover brunch (with fresh eggs), partial leftover dinner (with fresh goose). And the XMas eve Opening Of The Presents. Quite a haul here, considering that just five retired / unemployed folks are involved. Probably today will be similar, starting with opening the Santa presents, then some brunch, then some sitting-about, not going nowhere, don't know. Meanwhile I've been thinking about writing XMas songs but none come to me. New Year's songs, solstice songs, seasonal songs. And every now and then I start to get a hint of melody, but nothing sticks. No words stick. Finally yesterday I started catching up on my email, later today may do more of the same, express myself that way. Otherwise I'll just watch and listen to the rain when it comes. LATER: No rain now (that was yesterday), just fresh windy frigid beauty. Friday 26 December 2003 - Englishtown NJ BOXING DAY, day after XMas. Not bad. Got up very early, made it thru the night, went off early for some day-after-XMas shopping at local purveyors of SantaPorn. Snarfed up some heavily-discounted seasonal goodies, returned to the house and crashed for a few hours, wasting the bright and beautiful (but cold) day. (On the way we passed the hospital, where I was told that I was being returned to be fixed* — but it's too late!)* Then we took off for Longwood Gardens, just this side of Delaware. The old Louis Du Pont estate, now an arboretum and botanic garden with huge conservatories, all done up in lights, a vast XMas show. Almost as good as Disneyland, ha ha. (Crowds wound thru the vast conservatory space in realms of dark & light, almost a green hell except for the wonder & awe.) And then coming back we stopped in Chadd's Landing (??) at the Chadd's Landing Inn (??) for a pretty good carnivorous dinner. Actually it was very good, almost up to California standards, ha ha. But it was a long long drive, two hours each way, my knees and legs in agony in the passenger seat of Fred's Dodge Durango. We'll do something different tomorrow. PROSPECTS: Someday soon, we'll maybe have a plan. Still don't know from Kaiser Medical what's up, whether I do the cardiac stress test locally on Jan 2nd or visit a Kaiser facility around DC for such. Thus we don't know when we're leaving here, or to where, or how much longer poor Petrushka will be in cat jail, or by what mode of transport we will get from coast to coast. Whether that will be by driveaway (unlikely) or train (also unlikely) or by air, with or without oxygen bottles on me. But with luck I'll have medical clearance by the end of Friday 2 January. Our airline is booked solid on the 3rd and 4th so the soonest we could take off would be Monday the 5th. We'd hit Sacramento late that night, stay over in our booked motel, not get home until Tuesday sometime. Nearly three weeks out. Almost as long as the Italy trip and not nearly as exciting, inspiring, revivifying, or expensive (hopefully). Somewhere in this next week-and-a-half we'll tour around a bit, get to the Philadelphia Print Shop in Chestnut Hill and other Philly sites. Otherwise we'll see how long it takes cabin fever to set in. [sound: computer chime] Ah, there's the midnight gong. It's now tomorrow. So I'll end the tape here. Saturday 27 December 2003 - Freehold NJ FRESH TAPE: Up sometime after sunrise, online awhile, then during the morning kitchen flurry a small plane appears outside the window, doing inside loops. Loops. Loops. They say this isn't common here, but it seems to mirror this visit. Mostly inside loops. We went to the Freehold Racetrack Mall for a commercial immersion experience. They bought adornment, I bought art books (Rivera, Kahlo, O'Keefe, Klimt, Giger) and snapped shots of unsuspecting mall-rats. Standards have declined: here's an old guy whose cap says KISS MY GRITS and here's a young guy whose sweatshirt says FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCKER and here are multiple geeks with multiple piercings. Babe magnets everywhere... Tuesday 30 December 2003 - E-town NJ MIDNIGHT (or a moment past): I'm holed up with the Tachen book on HR Giger and Dan Brown's informative but clumsily-written and -edited THE DA VINCI CODE, it's nightmare time (as manufactured for mass consumption rather than political-military expedience). And somewhat tedious, storylinewise. SATURDAY was a do-nothing day. SUNDAY was a day of rest. MONDAY didn't include me, it was High Tea for the gals, then out for excellent Chinese dinner. The theme for this visit is: INTERIORS. LATER: Read all night,sleep all morning, liase with medical reps all afternoon (Maureen burning up the wires and burning out her brain). Devour homemade burritos in the evening, crash early. Maybe tomorrow we'll get the med schedule finalized, then go to Ellis Island. Or maybe not. Who knows? Wednesday 31 December 2003 - E-town NJ Ellis Island trip today cancelled - Bobbie not feeling good, revenge of the burritos. So the rest of us head for more post-XMas bargains, then on to quaint Red Bank NJ for window shopping, then to hospital to finally retrieve my medical records like a hamster storing seeds for the winter. When asked, "What are your New Years plans for tonight?" I have no immediate answer. Just survive, I guess. Meanwhile my consciousness hits a brick wall. Splat. LATER: I finally got inspiration for the next song-cycle: INSECT FEAR [sound: computer chime] Ah, there's the midnight gong. It's now 2004. Happy focking New Year, I hope. [fireworks outside] Just don't blow everything up.
2004: Next Year Already Thursday 1 January 2004 - Freehold NJ Happy 2004, eh? Usual sleep-wake-sleep cycle; then up at 9, breakfast by 10, back in hospital by 11. SOB (shortness-of-breath), dizziness, weakness - cardiologist sez to head to the ER for an EKG right NOW so here I am, wired up again. Shit shit shit. (The upshot: The drug for atrial fib lowered my blood pressure too far, so I get a reduced dose now. And playing games at the pharmacy. Ok.) NOTE: include letters giving details, emailed to kin & friends. Saturday 3 January 2004 - E-town NJ Thursday was occupied by the ER. Friday was occupied by the long painful Balmer (Baltimore) trip, with testing (NUCLEAR CARDIAC STRESS TEST) and crabcakes. Saturday was mostly sitting about, interrupted by our first drive by ourselves thru the countryside. And tomorrow? This is ALL like a stress test, and if I yell and throw things, I flunk. Sunday 4 Jan 2004 - E-town NJ - YADND (Yet Another Do-Nothing Day) Monday 5 Jan 2004 - Tests OK, we can leave now, but nothing today Tuesday 6 Jan 2004 - Biting-cold windy do-nothing day with full moon Wednesday 7 January 2004 - Airbourne We're finally enroute and the day is already... odd... NOONISH: We're up and fed and packed early. Sharon drove the Durango out front for loading. Then she locked the keys inside with the engine running, heater up full blast (it's 25°f outside). No other key can be found, So Fred called a locksmith while Sharon pulled the Caddy around and we barely shoehorned all passengers and luggage into the available space. A straightforward drive to Newark, unloaded onto the frosty sidewalk and hauled into the over-warm terminal - and our ticket purchases (processed twice and confirmed once, albeit with trouble) HAVEN'T MADE IT into AA's system. Much delay and BS and we end up buying new tickets at the check-in counter. We will NEVER voluntarily fly on AA again. (Maureen will write a long letter to the prez and offer her services as a system consultant. Yup.) But now we're up and the puffy Pennsylvania clouds are far beneath us, and this miserable focking journey is nearing completion. NOTHING CAN GO WRONG NOW!! (oops...) Those Pennsy clouds have lined up in long parallel rows stretching to the horizon. They seem to be sitting atop equally long parallel ridgetops while the valleys are clear - the Pennsy glacially-carved hill-and-valley pattern. Higher realms are dusted with snow. It is COLD out there. EVENING: We landed OK at Dallas-FtWorth, walked 1/3 across terminal A from gate 28 to gate 14, and waited 1.5 hours. I strolled around snapping shots, catching the denizens unaware under too-dim lights. Then just at boarding time we're told that the departure has shifted to gate 24 -- and then it's to gate 34, back 2/3 across this huge terminal. Oy. We think we're in a hurry and Bobbie's on a pacemaker so we request a shuttle cart. It eventually arrives, we wend our way thru the throngs and eventually reach gate 34. where we wait another 1.5 hours as darkness crashes down like halitosis from an extinguished dragon. Planes at both gates had hardware problems; a major NorthWest storm is crashing schedules continent-wide; ah, the thrill of winter air travel. Our eventual departure was rather like the same liftoff eastbound three weeks ago -- Dallas after dark. Bands of lights along the business routes; many large rectangular buildings with lights dotted around their perimeters, set in large parking lots connected by street lights, the whole looking like clusters of night-lit ICs on a vast conurban circuit board. Then we fade into clouds and darkness, and I retreat into reading. LATER: Maybe an hour out of Sacratomato I finish rereading the funny Hiaasen book (BASKET CASE) and turn off my light and look out the porthole and behold: a subcontinental landscape fiercely illuminated by the blazing full moon. Gnarly half-covered high ranges surrounding a vast snow expanse, seemingly level, with a bright light in its center, anchored by by a dimly-marked track. Then more mountains and valleys, more snowy expanses, and darker drier (but barely warmer) lowlands. The peaks and ranges stand out in thrusting stark relief. Scattered along he horizon are a few lit towns, but mostly it's inky sky and snowy geography - Nevada, I suspect. Ah yes, there's Hawthorne (and its weapons depot) and Walker Lake just below with the Whites and Sierras beyond, lifting thru the frigid atmosphere. Then it's the flashy burbs of the Carson Valley at the Sierra's base, then over the crest, over the minimegalopolis of South Lake Tahoe and the giant playful puddle of Tahoe itself and some glowing clouds. We roll dead across the lake deadened by resorts, where nobody is swimming just now. Then the clarity fades, the clouds envelop us, and we're lost in bright foaming sky. We finally breach the mist on descent, looking over the wide carpet of lights of Greater Sacamento, Ahnold's realm. Our governor can beat up your governor. Friday 9 January 2004, home So we're back, but the adventure continues. WEDNESDAY: We land, collect most of our bags (only the largest is lost), head for the MOTL, have a late meal at an incredibly loud TGIFriday (popular 20-something hangout), crash, etc. THURSDAY: We're up surprisingly early. Back to the airport to retrieve that last bag (it once was lost but now it's found). Drive thru moderate rain south of Sac for fuel for car and people alike. Cross the Valley past the old Rancho Seco nukes, imbibing the fresh wet radioactive air and far snowy views and happy cow environs. Thru Ione for mail - didn't hit anything but I'm not driving. Up to Sutter Hill to retrieve relieved cats from their durance vile, on to our Post Office for mail and a banjo-uke (only slightly damaged). Thru snow to drop Bobbie and Miss Puss at their abode, over to Ginny's to feed leftovers to Heidi (now a very happy St Bernard), down to the market for supplies and pizza, then up the ridge and we're HOME AT LAST! Set Petrushka free! Turn up the heat! Eat. Crash, Revive, Crash encore. Snore. Etc. FRIDAY: Up early, fun fun fun, then call Kaiser to get me in the queue for inspection and evaluation. FIND OUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME, SET A COURSE OF ACTION! Then haul Maureen down to Jackson for PT (physical therapy). And my cellphone jingles: it's Kaiser, make the two-hour drive to Roseville TOMORROW for a medical consult. And since we have other LONG medical journeys set for Monday (Novato) and Wednesday (Roseville), we're immediately back on the every-other-day long-distance commute routine, like hamsters in an endles loop. Bother. I just want to rest awhile. (A perspective: these recurrent medical trips suck. Being off alcohol and caffiene sucks. But ERs and death suck even more, so I grin and bear it. Grrr...) We now return to our regularly-scheduled journal-mongering.

Joisy Holidaze 2003-04

Transcribed Notes: Helluva Vacation

CONTENTS

ACCOUNTS

THEMES