When I met her she was a beauty queen
You're always something more
Now she's hanging out with me
In front of the liquor store.
And it won't start when I shut it off
So she has to get the beer
She puts it in the back seat
And she quietly says to me...
When, exactly, did we become white trash?
How come we've got seven dogs living in the g'rage?
How come the only eight-track in our car is Johnny Cash?
When, exactly, did we become white trash?
She tells all our friends that I've got my Ph.D.
But it stands for post hole digger
It ain't exactly a degree.
And there's curtains on the windows
And we hardly watch tv.
And that double wide is triple wide
Now that she's with me.
And she says,
When, exactly, did we become white trash?
How come we got seven dogs, who burned down the g'rage?
How come the only eight-track in our car is Johnny Cash?
When, exactly, did we become white trash?
Girls: (falsetto) When, exactly, did we become white trash?
Boys: (deep bass) When, exactly, did we become white trash?
(Insert your village/town/city/venue) When, exactly, did we
become white trash?
You needn't be isolated in your head-pounding, trepanning, cranial
trauma activities. You can join with friends (if any) in entertaining and
enlightening collaboration, whether in hammer-judging, scalpel-waving,
mass-phrenology, or just plain old head-pounding song-writing.
Witness the following:
} >----- Original Message -----
} >From: "Wally Anglesea" >wanglese@bigpond.net.au<
} >Subject: RE: [SC] PHRENOLOGY For The Total Moron
}
} > To the tune of Hey Jude
} >
} > "Hey Dude, don't make it sad,
} > Take a hammer, and bang your head;
} > Remember, to hit it harder each day
} > Then when you stop, it makes it better.
}
} From: "Ric Carter" >ric@sonic.net<
}
} the refrain:
}
} "So pound it out and pound it in
} Hey Dude, begin
} Don't carry that wart upon your shoulders..."
}
From: "Unit 4" >unit4@i-plus.net<
Don't you know that blood is cool
just watch it pool,
it gets sticky as it gets colder..."
* permission explicitly granted to forward this email message
* SkeptiChat 1.01.02.05 *** http://www.sonic.net/~ric/vsub.htm
P.R.I.C.K. By Tracy & me
From: "Tracy Hamby" >treighsea@worldnet.att.net<
} From: "Ric Carter" >ric@sonic.net<
} > Somebody say something. I'm BEGGING you!
}
} Okay. I'm trying to come up with alternate lyrics to the old
} Nat King Cole song "L-O-V-E" to amuse a friend who is terribly
} irritated with her ex at the moment.
}
} No offense to the men on this list --
} I'm just lookin' for some lyrical inspiration!
}
} Here's what I have so far...
}
} P is for the way you piss me off
} R is for the rocks I want to toss (bad line... help!)
} I is for the I in icky icky you, and
} C is any cretin who could do as well as you do
}
} K is for the kick your backside needs
} and the rest is just a kick for me
} OH, I don't know why I wasted any time on you
}
} So hummana hummana whatever, I need a rhyme... eh?
How about:
K -- is for the kick your back -- side needs
and -- the rest is just a kick -- for me
All in all, as I recall, here's why you make me sick
You -- are just a slimy prick
Hey, that'll go into the collection, no problem.
Meanwhile, I just saw this picture:
http://www.bressler.org/hate/x09.jpg
but the thumbnail looked like Dylan,
and I was immediately inspired to do:
ANOTHER SIDE OF OSAMA BIN DYLAN
-------------------------------
He-ey Mr Taliban Man, play a song for me...
-
The anthrax, my friend, is blowin' in the wind...
-
All around the White House, spotters kept a view...
-
You walk onto the plane, a box-cutter in your hand...
-
When you're lost in the rain in Kabul and it's Ramadan too...
Gimmee a couple days and I may have an album here.
"I THINK" Alanis Morissette-type song
generated by software by David Neilsen
I Think shits are really a huge problem
I Think thieves are too much on my mind
I Think frauds have got a lot to do
with why the world sucks
But what can you do?
Like a blue rain, beating down on me
Like a Ginzberg line,
which won't let go of my brain
Like Shelly's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on Bush
Blame it on Bush
Blame it on Bush
I Think killers are gonna drive us all crazy
And liars make me feel like a child
I Think dickheads will eventually be
the downfall of civilization
But what can you do? I said what can you do?
Like a blue rain, beating down on me
Like a Ginzberg line,
which won't let go of my brain
Like Shelly's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on Bush
Blame it on Bush
Blame it on Bush
Like a blue rain, beating down on me
Like Shelly's smile, cruel and cold
Like Ginzberg's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on Bush
Blame it on Bush
Blame it on Bush
EATING WITH THE FREAKS by Tony Mills
After posting NO VEGETABLES WERE HARMED
to SkeptiChat, we received this:
Ric A man after my own heart, my "band" also has a
vegetarian song (see below) about going to vegetarian
restaurants
The other Tony "meat lovin'" Mills
EATING WITH THE FREAKS
Traffic rolls by
Lookin' out the window pain
Inside sits your meal
Nothing that has been slain
Chorus:
Your Eatin' with the freaks
You'll be chewn' on a leek
Caus' Eatin' with the freaks
Your will becomes so weak
Verse2:
There with your friends
Just going with the flood
Is all look so healthy
But no meat and definitely no blood
Chorus:
Bridge:
How long to my secret is revealed
I could really down some veal
If they put me under the pump
Id tell them I'd love some rump
Chorus:
Give me some meat!
WHEN VEGGIES GO BAD by Tracy Hamby
Okay, here's a poem that seems relevant somehow (I actually
wrote this about 13 years ago but I don't remember why).
==============
In the twilight of the pantry, my potato's eyes were bright.
And though I loved it dearly, it gave me quite a fright.
Its skin was green and scaly, with little stripes, in blues.
And since it had two legs now, it wore my running shoes.
It seemed to cast a little glow, a glow of palest red...
But nothing scared me quite as much as when it turned and said,
"Your baking days are over; your nuking days are gone.
And when I'm through with talking, you'll be scattered on the lawn."
I begged it to consider the results of such a crime...
It laughed, and then it giggled, and said, "I'll do the time."
So I'm scattered on the lawn now, and my friends I'd like to warn:
potaters can be traitors, so you'd better stick to corn.
----------------------------------------------------------------
"Yes, tiny pickle! You are not a mighty dill.
You are just a baby gherkin!"
Philippe Pea - VeggieTales
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: <treighsea@att.net>
> Subject: RE: [SC] when veggies go bad
> Oh, I'd love to eat my "betters"
> I'd eat them every day,
> I'd cover them in butter,
> and do a nice saute...
Devouring superiors
Is good for my career
It's easier than working hard
And frothier than beer
Country Joe call-n-response from DailyKos
Well come on all you big, strong men
Uncle Sam needs your help again!
got himself in a terrible jam
makin war against Saddam
so put down your job
and pick up a gun
We're gonna have a whole lot of fun!"
And it's one, two, three
What are they fightin' for?
Don't ask me - I don't understand
Why they fight for Saddam
And it's five, six, seven
Bomb 'em till he abdicates
Though Tomahawks are low in stock
You know we're gonna beat Iraq!
Posted by New McDonald at March 26, 2003 12:17 AM
_________________________________________________
Hey, New MacDonald, try this:
Well look up yonder in the sky, now
What is that, I pray?
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a man insane
It's the president, Double-Yay
He's flyin' high way up in the sky, now
Just like Superman
But I've got a little piece of Iraqgate, I'm gonna
Bring him down to land
So come out Dubya with yer hands held high
Drop yer guns baby and reach for the sky
I've got ya surrounded and ya ain't got a chance
Gonna send ya back to Texas, make ya work on yer ranch
Yeah, yeah
Posted by lurch at March 26, 2003 12:29 AM
|
