CARNIVORE LOVE   (bluesy)  Forestville CA  4 August 1993 *


 I saw you feeding on your kill
 You gave me your toothy smile
  I smiled back
  I didn't attack
 (Carnivorous Love)
 ---
 You offered me a portion too
 I carefully crept up to you
  You smelled good
  I felt good
 (with Carnivore Love, Reptilian Love, Conservative Love)
 ---
 (instrumental)
  We felt good
  We smelled good
 ---
 When we finished, we had another
 And then we started on each other
  I bit hard
  You never tired
 (of Carnivore Love, Jurassic Love, Republican Love)


 FOOD CHAIN   (vocal rocker)  Forestville CA  Aug 93 - Sept 98 *


 I work for the Fast Food King / It is an awful thing
 (I do the fries / And the buffalo wings)
 Cooking is a dirty job / But someone's gotta do it
 (Mop up the hall / Scrape the grease off the wall)
 Doing junk food all day long / Will sure mess up your mind
 (I'm seeing elves / And aliens in the shelves)
 Goin' crazy, I don't care / I'm gonna go on welfare
 (I'm goin' blind  / and I'm losin' my mind)
 ------
[chorus:] But it's more than a job
  I'm not just a workin' (workin') slob
  I'm a vital link in the / Food chain, food chain...
 ------
 Back on the production line / I'm frying all the time
 (I'm burning my hands / And mutating my glands)
 Think I'm gonna call it quits / I'm gettin' purple zits
 (The boss is insane / The customers are a pain)
[instrumental couplet]  [chorus]
 ------
 Goin' fishin', my day off / I got an awful cough
 (Out on the boat / Get the dust out' my throat)
 Floatin' on the deep blue sea / It's just the cod'n'me
 (Maybe a mackeral / or an ahi ahi)
 Dreamin' bout my baby's charms / About her open arms
 (It's late in the day / Time to head for the Bay)
 But now, it's almost dark / I see a great white shark
 (Comin' at me / O no he's gonna eat me)
 ------
[chorus:] But I'm more than a meal
  It's not such a dirty (dirty) deal
  I'm a vital link in the / Food chain, food chain...


 CAR LOVE   New Mexico  13 June 1995


 "There is no mercy" she laughed,
   light glinting at her ear
 "There's only hope, and consequence,
   and circumstance, and fear"
  I smiled up at her, and kissed her breasts again
  The Zuni bear at her throat shook,
   and again, and again
  And evening crawled in over the dash
  As we screwed in the back seat of her Nash
 --
  She bit into my hot tamale, o golly, o golly
  I tongued around her juicy taco, o rocko, o socko
  She slurped up all my chunky salsa, o yowza, o yowza
  I put it to her enchilada, yada, yada, yada, yada
  And morning minced in over the dash
  As we screwed in the back seat of her Nash


 (I Just) GOT TO GET THIS PIZZA TO YOU   Fulton CA  Jan-June 1998 *


(A) Don't know just who you are
  Don't care what you do
 But I know, no matter how near or far
  I just got to get this pizza to you.
 --
(A) Don't know a thing about what ya think
  Don't know what's your fav'rite brew
 But the very most important thing
  I just got to get this pizza to you.
 --
(A) It might have pineapples and pepperoni
  Mushrooms and anchovies too
 Topped off with onion and Canadian Bacaon
  I got to get this pizza to you.
 --
(B) Now, you really should try a diet
  This stuff'll kill you dead
 But I know, once you try it
  It really grabs your head
 --
(A) I don't know your social status
  or if you're born in a zoo
 But while I drive this apparatus
  O I'm just gonna get this pizza to you.
  Yeah, I'm gonna get this pizza to you-ooooh-oooh...



 NO VEGETABLES WERE HARMED   Santa Rosa, CA  19 October 1999


 No vegetables were harmed while making this song
  We beheaded some chickens and squashed a few kittens
  We shot a couple pigs and ate a few figs
 But no vegetables were harmed while making this song
 Yeah no vegetables were harmed while making this song
 --
 No vegetables were harmed while shooting this film
  We burnt some iquanas and stomped a chihuahua
  We shot a couple gypsies and chopped down an elm
 But no vegetables were harmed while shooting this film
 Yeah no vegetables were harmed while shooting this film
 --
 No vegetables were harmed while producing this video
  We harpooned humpback whales and tortured a few kid-eos
  We spread anthrax in Moscow, nuked Japan til it glows
 But no vegetables were harmed while producing this video
 Yeah no vegetables were harmed while producing this video
 No, no vegetables were harmed while producing this video
 Video, video, video, video, video, video, video, video


 NO COWS, MAN!   Summerhome Park, Calif  4 Apr 2000


     (bluesy slide guitar — progression: G-F-C-Bb)

 Duh duh duh da-da dah
 Dreamin 'bout some soymilk-banana shake
 Some nice tofu-burger bake
 Somethin else for my hunger to slake
 But I don't wanna eat no cow, man
 --
 Duh duh duh da-da dah
 Loadin' up on powder at the health-food store
 Lecithin 'n' wheat-germ 'n'a whole bunch more
 That blue-green algae really makes me roar
 But I don't wanna eat no cow, man
 --
[bridge:]
 Pile up a buncha shallots'n'jalapenos
 On toppa some mashed avocado
 An' pile'em up with lotsa cilantro
 But get that ground beef 'way from me, man!
 --
 Duh duh duh da-da dah
 I slaver for brown rice with vindaloo curry
 Zucchini and mushrooms, I never worry
 Yeah, shit like this, they don't serve in Missouri
 But I don't wanna eat no cow, man, no no


 A GOOD DAY (For Devouring)   (Afro-Salsa)  Forestville CA  23 Aug 2000


 It feels like a good day for me to devour you
 It feels like a good day for you to devour me
(ooh aah)(ooh aah)(ooh aah)(ooh aah)
(ooh aah)(ooh aah)(ooh aah)(ooh aah)
 -
 Tartare you, ah, um, yum, yum
 Tartare me, yah, ah, oom, ah, oom, ah
 -
 Feels like a good day for me to devour you 
(oom, ah, ooh, ah)
 Feels like a good day for you to devour me 
(oom, ah, ooh, ah)
 -
 A dash of soy sauce, a touch of wasabi
  A little fried shrimp on the side, on the side
 It feels like a good day to be devoured, be devoured
  It feels like a good day to devour, slurp, devour
 -
 Will you be my Chow Mein baby, can I be your Won Ton, Won Ton?
 Shall we be Swallow's-Nest Soup for ever and ever and ever?
 -
 It feels like a good day for me to devour you
 It feels like a good day for you to devour me
(yum-yum, yum-yum yum)
 -
 Slice the radish, slice my flesh,
  slice us all, thin and fresh
 -
 I just want to be your culinary de-light,
  de-light, de-light
 I just want to stick you your ribs all day,
  all night, all night
 -
 When we drink the Sake, it'll squirt from
  the slices in our bodies
 I'll slice up your heart, you'll slice up my mind,
  o my what a party
 -
 It feels like a good day for me to drink you up
 It feels like a good day for you to drink me up
(yum-yum) (slurp) (slurp) (slurp) (slurp)
(slurp) (slurp) (slurp) (slurp)  (yum-yum)
 -
 Roll me in seaweed, serve me with sea urchins,
  serve me to the merchants
 We all go back to the sea, We all go back to the sea,
  We all go back to the sea


 ORGANIC POLKA   Garberville-Westport, Calif  4 October 2000


(1) Miso, green tea, and tabouleh
  Tea tree oil and spirulina
  Let's do the Organic Polka
 Tofu Rella, Silk vanilla
  Soy tempeh and ses'me pizza, yah
  It's the Organic Polka
 Gardenburgers, honey Kasha
  Oranges from the Tree of Life
  Tandoori on a wooden knife (uh uh)
 It's the Organic Polka!
 --
(2) Rainforest crisp and fresh man-gos
  Taj polek paneer and fresh to-ma-toes
  Shoyu, tahine and nice couscous
 All in a solar stew (Hey!)
 --
(1) Echinacea and elder-
  Berries and Sonoma cider
  It's the Organic Polka (wah wah wah)
 Yukon bars, tamari chips, and
  Low-fat avacado dips
  Let's do the Organic Polka
 Hearty rye and amaranth
  Devouring the 10-fold path
  Some wine pressed from the grapes of wrath
 Let's do the Organic Polka!



 THE TOFU TERRORISTS   Forestville, CA  18 May 2001


 The Tofu Terrorists have struck again,
  they hit a Burger Thing
 Threw the meat away and forced the people
  to eat soybean curds
 Plump young women fainted after
  drinking malted Lecithin
 Little children wailed as Happy Meals
  gave way to VegeBurgers
 --
 The Tofu Terrorists hit yesterday,
  attacked a Taco Smell
 Threw out taco shells made from
  genetically altered corn
 Threw out ground beef, made the
  terrified folks eat falafel
 Flesh-eaters are wishing
  that they never had been born
 --
 Kentucky Kernel, Crap-In-The-Box,
  Windys, Pukeyes and McBarfalds
 Confused carnivores cry out,
  fearful to be targeted next
 The Tofu Terrorists will strike
  the fast-foods in your neighborhood
 You'd better stay at home and
  practice carnivorous sex


 EGGPLANT OF DOOM   Sebastopol, CA  22 May 2001


 I was hiding in my lonely room
 Menaced by the Eggplant of Doom
 Menaced by the Eggplant of Doom
 --
 I was chased by killer tomatoes
 And elite assassin potatoes
 And elite assassin potatoes
 --
 Here come the psychotic chilis
 Their evil vibes give me with willys
 Their evil vibes give me with willys
 --
 I'm about to wet my pants
 Hunted by solanaceous plants
 Hunted by solanaceous plants
 --
 Tobacco wants to eat my brain
 Belladonna drives me insane
 There's no relief from fresh wolfsbane


 COOKING YOU AND EATING YOU  [lounge]  Upper Chetco, OR  20 Sept 2001


 Cooking you and eating you was more fun than I've had this week
 You looked so surprised when I carved out a steak
 Grilled fast over mesquite coals, you're almost organic
 A dash of TuleLake horseradish was all that it took
 --
 Cooking you and eating you was really quite a challenge
 You put up quite a struggle, until the drugs took hold
 Just the right dose of morphine, MSG, DMSO
 Now you're so calm and tender, just like a free-range chicken
 --
 Cooking you and eating you was just the right experience
 I'd just feng-shui'ed the kitchen and I had to test it out
 The griddle's in the WEALTH bagua and needed some geraniums
 Now it's all adjusted, and you can just relax (relax) (relax)