a.) Frantically ask around in the band, trying to determine whether 
            you might be able to throw together a couple of verses or so.
            b.) Continue to ignore the request (it’s not going to go 
            away) becoming increasingly uncomfortable as the set goes on.
            c.) Apologize sheepishly, admitting that we are unable to play 
            this tune and that we are ashamed of ourselves.
            d.) Snobbishly announce that we do not do requests.
            ...or some combination of the above, depending on his policy regarding 
            requests.
        
            Requests are a fact of life in the music business, and one of 
            these days the issue will be yours to deal with. Where will you 
            stand?
        
          Performing musicians can be divided into two groups: those who 
          play requests and those who don’t. Nearly every musician 
          stands firmly on one side of the line or the other, and when pressed, 
          will adamantly defend their position. Which of these two groups 
          should you sign up with? Let’s take a look at these two 
          philosophies, and try each of them on for size. Don’t worry, 
          it’s legal to change your mind later, kind of like changing 
          political parties. Ronald Reagan was once a Democrat, you know. 
          In fact, years ago I used to stand foursquare on one side of this 
          issue, and now am just about as firm on the opposite. I’ll 
          tell you which side that is in just a little while.
     For the sake of examining the two sides of the 
          issue, let’s give each camp a name. We’ll call them 
          (request) Fillers and (request) Dodgers. And we’ll witness 
          an argument between members of each camp.
        
          PHIL: I suppose you think that you’re above playing requests.
          DUCK: I’m an artist, not a juke box. If you want to pander 
          to every bozo at the bar, go ahead, but not me.
          PHIL: Artist, shmartist. We’re entertainers, and it’s 
          our job to give the customer what he wants.
          DUCK: And I suppose you think the “customer” knows 
          what he wants, huh? If you ask me, those drunks are just shouting 
          out song titles to hear themselves shout.
          PHIL: Well, if you ask me, you’re cutting your own throat 
          by alienating them. What’s the harm in trying to please 
          an audience, anyway?
          DUCK: The harm is that you end up floundering around and playing 
          a bunch of junk that you barely know.
          PHIL: Hey, if I know a verse or two to a song that somebody wants 
          to hear, I figure they’ll appreciate me giving it a try. 
          They know not to expect a tight arrangement or anything, and we 
          all have some fun with it.
          DUCK: You may call that fun, but I call it degrading. I’d 
          much rather stick with the stuff that I know. And the stuff that 
          I have worked up is really much better material, anyway.
          PHIL: Degrading? The sounds pretty arrogant to me.
          DUCK: I suppose you’d take a pie in the face if you thought 
          it might make you more popular with the masses.
          PHIL: You snob!
          DUCK: You whore!
          (They begin throwing punches and rolling around on the ground.)
        
          Maybe you don’t want to be associated with either of these 
          two. Often one’s position on the subject of playing requests 
          can be determined as a reaction to an attitude one finds unattractive. 
          Early in my playing days, I ran into a fair amount of that artist-snobbishness, 
          and it sent me in the opposite direction. I subscibed to the Fillers 
          point of view for several years, and was willing to try almost 
          anything on stage. Know a few words, and most of the chord changes? 
          Good enough, let’s give it a try! I would have taken Phil’s 
          side of the above argument, almost up to the point where they 
          began punching.
          
          Eventually I came full circle, based mostly on what I sense to 
          be the motivation behind the request. There are several reasons 
          that somebody in a bar or concert hall will shout out a song title, 
          and the possibility that he really would enjoy hearing that song 
          much more than any other is somewhere far down on the list. 
        Here’s a list of some of the most common reasons that people 
          shout out requests:
        
            1. To impress their friends.
            I put this one first because it is the most common one I’ve 
            seen. In its classic form, it goes like this:
            Two or three couples are seated at a prominent table in the club. 
            One of the couples has been to this club before and seen the band, 
            and have brought the others with them tonight. If the band fills 
            their request, their friends will be impressed with how hip they 
            are.
   Similarly, some particulary insecure individual who 
            is not sitting with a table of friends may be trying to impress 
            strangers in the audience.
            
            2. To impress the band. 
“Hey, I know what you guys are all about,” they are 
            saying, “you probably know...”
   To put a more positive spin on it, you might say 
            that they are trying to bond with the band. Maybe they should 
            consider buying a round of drinks, instead.
        
            3. To stump the band.
            People who make requests which they expect you will not know are 
          either unclear on the concept, or perhaps they’re musicians 
            themselves indulging in one-upsmanship. I’ve seen the latter 
            occasionally, and it’s usually done for laughs.
        
              4. They’re drunk, and they like to shout.
            This one practically needs no explanation, but I can recall one 
            situation which was the ultimate example.
   I was in a club to see some friends play one night, 
            and a group at one table began shouting a request for a song called 
            Rocky Top, a very popular bluegrass song to request at that time. 
            They appeared to be having so much fun shouting “Rocky Top!” 
            that another table of people wanted to join in the fun, too, only 
            they had no idea what it was that these people were shouting. 
            No matter, they imitated the sound as best they could. “Rockitaw! 
            Rockitaw!” they shouted with glee. This sure is fun, let’s 
            have another round. “Rockitaw!”
   Now the band had already played Rocky Top in response 
            to the first request. And yet the chant went on. By now they had 
            begun emphatically rolling the R.
“R-R-R-Rockitaw!” they would bellow in unison, repeatedly, 
            and then burst out in hysterical laughter. Not just between songs, 
            but during the music.
   The band tried to explain that they had already done 
            Rocky Top. But even if these people had been paying any attention 
            to the band, this would have meant nothing to them. Being the 
            dutiful Request Fillers that they were, these poor saps even played 
            Rocky Top again in an attempt to satisfy this request.
   But there was no stopping it. “R-R-R-ROCKITAW!!” 
            followed by hoots and guffaws, would explode mindlessly, sporadically 
            for the rest of the evening.
        
            5. They know your material, and 
              would be disappointed if they didn’t hear their favorite.
            At the opposite end of the spectrum from the Rockitaw juggernaut, 
            this type of request is enough to melt the stone heart of even 
            the most hardcore Request Dodger. Usually reserved for either 
            very famous performers or those with a loyal following, such a 
            request is seldom ignored. However, even sincere requests such 
            as these, if overly encouraged, can degenerate if not handled 
            skillfully by the performer.
   For example, take Bill Monroe. During the latter 
            part of his career, Monroe had earned the privilege of playing 
            for audiences who knew and loved him. He always threw the show 
            open for requests, mainly because he knew that his audience would 
            request his own hits: Footprints in the Snow, Blue Moon of Kentucky, 
            Muleskinner Blues, Uncle Pen, etc. They would always request these 
            songs, guaranteed. And just in case they didn’t, he pretended 
            they did, and sang them anyway.
   But even this ideal request scenario can turn 
            sour when an audience member loudly persists in requesting an 
            inappropriate number (as happened occasionally even to the Father 
            of Bluegrass himself) or when the shouting of song titles becomes 
            so competitive that it turns to chaos. Bill started to get edgy 
            when this happened, and then all of a sudden we weren't having 
            as much fun as we had been a minute ago.
         In my humble opinion the unworthy motives far outweigh the worthy, 
            tipping the scale toward not ever considering playing requests 
            ...well, except maybe those of the #5 variety.
        
          So if one adopts that policy, what is the best way to handle it? 
          If you become a Request Dodger, be an artful dodger. You don’t 
          want to chill the audience by announcing that you simply do not 
          play requests. They’ll probably think you’re as big 
          a snob as our friend Duck. You could take the approach of a band 
          I was sitting in with one time: when someone in the audience asked 
          “Do you play Cripple Creek?” the band leader responded, 
          “Yeah, some jerk usually asks for it.” 
          My favorite dodge is to simply pace the set so tightly that there’s 
          no room for requests. If you’re moving along crisply from 
          song to song, without giving the impression that the whole thing 
          is open to suggestion, you have a pretty good chance of not inviting 
          any requests. When that fails, I’ll say something like “That’s 
          a good one, we ought to learn that,” or “I doubt that 
          we could do that one justice,” and after a few of those, 
          they begin to see that they’re not going to get anywhere.
        
          On the other hand, maybe you think I’m just an old poop, 
          and you’re more inclined to cast your lot with the Request 
          Fillers. If so, I recommend spending some time learning the hits 
          (more on them later). If you plan on playing them, you may as 
          well know them. You might start out with Rockitaw.
        ...Rick Shubb, Sept. 9, 2002