Is Demonic Music The Root Of Teens Shooting Up Their School?

Check out these ads we found in a teen magazine called Anvil:


Ritchie Valens They're Not

All we have to do is quote the Anvil Magazine article
"From the ashes of Sinister and the dark soul of Houwitser rises the unstoppable death machine that is INFINITED HATE..."


Perry Como They're Not

Already a top hit band for a few years, this is the front cover of Carcass's greatest hits album.

We know you'll want to run out and buy it for your girlfriend.

How long before we hear it on the Muzak at the local supermarket? You never can tell, the music may actually spur customers into buying large cuts of beef from the butcher!


Yum Yum!

Nothing like a group called Cattle Decapitation. The love just oozes! Here we see a bull shitting out 3 human heads, and a hand. No word if the hand is the source of the finger that was found in a cup of Wendy's chili.


Speaking of romance: How about putting a quarter in a jukebox to hear XXX Maniac singing their big hit "Harvesting The Cunt Nectar." Yes, you can tell the love just oozes from this album when the record company notes: "A Foul Pornographic Pile of Discharge."

Bob, our source for this magazine sez: "It's aimed at kids who don't fit in at their high school. They may be gay, nerdy, or just plain alienated. And it sends them a clear message: Just go out and slaughter your enemies. In HELL, YOU get to alienate THEM.

It should be noted that none of the ads are gay, so you won't hear any complaints from the fundies. But we do leave you with a final note: Guess what price the magazine sells for? That's right: $6.66