50 Reasons to Buy a Computer

1)  Your next-door neighbors, the Jones, just bought one.

2)  There's a 2- by 3-foot empty space on your desk.

3)  You have $2,000 burning a hole in your pocket.

4)  Your typewriter has broken and the last Smith-Corona repairman in
the state just entered the Valley Hills Retirement Community.

5)  You're dying to know what the heck Digital Dave is talking about.

6)  You want to get $157 towards the purchase of a new General Motors
vehicle with your new GM credit card.

7)  You have all these floppy disks lying around the house, and they
just don't work when you put them on your finger and spin them.

8)  You need a tax write-off.

9)  Television is bad for your kids.

10)  You're really into spreadsheets.

11)  Your recipe box is overflowing.

12)  You work near a window and need something to keep your
papers from blowing away.

13)  Every time you buy real fish, they die.

14)  No one will talk to you over the phone.

15)  You're into ultra-violet radiation.

16)  You're a terrible speler.

17)  The baseball season is over.

18)  You need another surface to spill coffee on.

19)  Stryofoam excelsior really turns you on.

20)  You want to do your bit to keep IBM out of Chapter 11
Bankruptcy protection.

21)  Your electric bill is too low.

22)  You've always wanted a pet mouse.

23)  You've always been fascinated with carpal-tunnel syndrome.

24)  Your interior designer recommended off-white.

25)  Without one, your laser printer just sits there without doing anything.

26)  You like the way you look in bifocals.

27)  Your girl/boyfriend has just left you.

28)  Your girl/boyfriend hasn't just left you, but it's an option
you'd like them to consider.

29)  You want the AUTOEXEC file so you can become a car dealer.

30)  You're allergic to newsprint.

31)  You're rebelling against your father, who uses an abacus.

32)  Your favorite character in _2001: A Space Odyssey_ was HAL.

33)  You've always wanted to see what two million colors look like.

34)  You think Bill Gates is a hunk.

35)  No one will ever play chess with you.

36)  You want to continue to subsidize the Japanese economy.

37)  You need a new anchor for your yacht.

38)  All your CDs make a strange beeping sound when you play them
on your stereo.

39)  You ran out of white-out.

40)  Your accountant recommended it.

41)  Your boss recommended it.

42)  Your mother recommended it.

43)  Your psychotherapist recommended it.

44)  You need a reason to be nervous during thunderstorms.

45)  You lost the middle part of your slide rule.

46)  Your Nintendo broke.

47)  Your six-year-old needs one to do her homework.

48)  You want to see what Rush Limbaugh is raving about.

49)  Your office windows won't open without something heavy to
throw through them.