Title: A New Atomic Element: Administratium

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists.
 The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons
and thus has an atomic number of 0.  However, it does have

1 Neutron
125 Assistant Neutrons
75 Vice Neutrons
111 Assistant Vice Neutrons

This gives it an atomic mass of 312.  Those 312 particles are held together
by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles
called morons.

Because it has no electrons, Administratium is inert, however it can be
detected readily as it impedes every action and reaction with which it comes
in contact.  According to its discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium
caused one process to take four days when completion would have occurred
normally in under one second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which
time it does not actually decay but rather undergoes a reorganization in
which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange
places. Recent studies have hypothesized that atomic mass actually increases
after each reorganization.

Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs naturally
in the atmosphere, but tends to accumulate at certain places such as
government agencies, large corporations and universities.   It usually can be
found in the newest, best appointed and best maintained buildings.

Scientists point out that Administratium is toxic in any concentration and
severely degrades productive activity wherever it accumulates.  Attempts are
in progress to determine how Administratium can be eliminated or at least
controlled, but unfortunately the results to date are not promising.

From: Mike