If you are ever travelling in Arabia, you may find it useful to know
these simple phrases.  For the sake of the Islam nation, be it known that 
only 2% of the population belongs to the radical extremist faction of the 
religion who are responsible for all the terrorism.  Most Muslims are very 
nice people, I'm sure.  Remember, this is only a joke...

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        -=-     USEFUL PHRASES TO KNOW WHEN  -=-
                TRAVELLING IN MOSLEM AREAS:
---------------------------------------------------------
AKBAR KHALI-KILI HAFTIR LOTFAN.

    Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun.
---------------------------------------------------------
FEKR GABUL CRADAN DAVAT PAEH GUSH DIVAR.

    I am delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie on the
    floor with my arms above my head and my legs apart.
---------------------------------------------------------
SHOMAEH FEKR TAMOMEH OEH GOFTEH BANDE.

    I agree with everything you have ever said or thought in your life.
---------------------------------------------------------
AUTO ARREREGH DAVATEMAN MANO SEPAHEH HAST.

    It is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to travel in
    the trunk of your car.
---------------------------------------------------------
FASHAL-EH TUPEHMAN NA DEGAT MANO GOFTAM CHEESHAYEH MOHEMARA
JEBEHKESHVAREHMAN.

    If you will do me the kindness of not harming my genital
    appendages  I will glady reciprocate by betraying my country
    in public.
---------------------------------------------------------
KHREL JEPAHEH MANEH VA JAYEH AMERIKAHEY.

    I will tell you the names and addresses of many American
    spies travelling as reporters.
---------------------------------------------------------
BALLI, BALLI, BALLI !

    Whatever you say!
---------------------------------------------------------
MATERNIER GHERMEZ AHLEIEH, GHORBAN.

    The red blindfold will be lovely, excellency.
---------------------------------------------------------
TIEKH NUNEH OB KHRELEH BEZORG VA KHRUBE BOYAST INO BEGERAM.

    The water-soaked bread crumbs are delicious, thank you.
    I must have the recipe.