Subject: Church Bloopers
ACTUAL Announcements Taken from Church Bulletins:
- Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.
- Thursday night-Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have
a nursery downstairs.
- The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the
birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
- This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north
ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
- Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving
milk will please come early.
- Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers
Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in
his private study.
- This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come
forward and lay an egg on the altar.
- Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray
the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the
new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
- The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every
kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be
"What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
- The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
- Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church
- 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
- Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for
- The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys
sinning to join the choir.
- Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who is
preparing for the girth of their first child.
- Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
- The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge -- Up Yours."