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                              H U M O U R
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Points to ponder.

 1.  When a cow laughs does milk come up its nose?
 2.  How did a fool and his money GET together?
 3.  How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
 4.  What's another word for thesaurus?
 5.  Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injection?
 6.  Why is abbreviation such a long word?
 7.  Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
 8.  How do you know when its time to tune your bagpipes?
 9.  When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
 10.  Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
 11.  What do they use to ship styrofoam?
 12.  Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
 13.  Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
 14.  What was the best thing before sliced bread?
 15. If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
 16. If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
 17. If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
 18. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
 19. Do blind eskimos have seeing eye sled dogs?
 20. Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
 21. If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
 22. Why do drive up ATMs have braille keys?




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     TOP 10 SIMILARITIES BETWEEN STAR TREK AND THE LOVE BOAT:
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     10. Cheesy opening song

     9.  Going to strange new worlds/ports-of-call

     8.  Scenes linked by ship shots

     7.  Too many scenes of self-indulgent crap in the holodeck/lounge

     6.  Ship's doctor is a main character

     5.  One character inexplicably replaced then returned (Crusher/Julie)

     4.  Socially retarded character with job description for name
         (Data/Gopher)

     3.  Counselor/cruise director (Troi/Julie) is sexy, but annoying

     2.  Really annoying young character (Wesley/Vicki) is related to a
         crewmember and works on the ship

     1.  Bald Captain

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            TOP TEN THINGS ENGINEERING SCHOOL DIDN'T TEACH YOU

10. There are at least 10 types of capacitors.
9. Theory tells you how a circuit works, not why it does not work.
8. Not everything works according to the specs in the databook.
7. Anything practical you learn will be obsolete before you use it,
   except the complex math, which you will never use.
6. Always try to fix the hardware with software.
5. Engineering is like having an 8 a.m. class and a late afternoon lab
   every day for the rest of your life.
4. Overtime pay? What overtime pay?
3. Managers, not engineers, rule the world.
2. If you like junk food, caffeine and all-nighters, go into software.

...and the number one thing...

1. Dilbert is a documentary.



From: Dave