- "I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job"
--George Bush, during his first Presidential campaign
- "This is a great day for France!"
--Richard Nixon, while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral
- "Now, like, I'm President. It would be pretty hard for some drug guy to
into the White House and start offering it up, you know? ... I bet if they
did, I hope I would say, 'Hey, get lost. We don't want any of that.'"
--George Bush, talking about drug abuse to a group of students
- "For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've
had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex ... uh... setbacks."
- "I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and
democracy. But that could change."
- "Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the
Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right
--Dan Quayle during a visit to Hawaii in 1989
- "What a waste it is to lose one's mind--or not to have a mind. How true
--Dan Quayle addressing the United Negro College Fund
- "I am honored today to begin my first term as the Governor of
--William Donald Schaefer, first inaugural address
- "The caribou love it. They rub against it and they have babies. There are
more caribou in Alaska than you can shake a stick at."
--George Bush, on the Alaska pipeline
- "I hope I stand for anti-bigotry, anti-Semitism, anti-racism. This is what
- "If I listened to Michael Dukakis long enough I would be convinced that
in an economic downturn and people are homeless and going without food and
medical attention and that we've got to do something about the unemployed."
- "My fellow Americans, I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia
forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."
--Ronald Reagan, about to go on the air for a radio broadcast, unaware that
the microphone was already on
- "Mars is essentially in the same orbit. Mars is somewhat the same distance
from the sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there
canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is
oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
- "Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up and I think we're going to
AND GREAT MOMENTS IN POLITICAL DEBATES: Walter Mondale: George Bush doesn't
have the manhood to apologize. Bush: Well, on the manhood thing, I'll put
mine up against his any time.
- "Bite the wax tadpole."
-- Coca-Cola as originally translated into Chinese
- "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave."
-- ad slogan "Pepsi Comes Alive" as originally translated into Chinese
- "I am a jelly doughnut"
--English translation of John F. Kennedy speaking at the Berlin Wall
- "We pray for MacArthur's erection."
--sign erected by Japanese citizens in Tokyo, when MacArthur was
a run for President
- "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."
--from a guest directory at a Japanese hotel, 1991
- "It takes a virile man to make a chicken pregnant."
--Perdue chicken ad, as mistranslated abroad
- "I'm not against the blacks and a lot of the good blacks will attest to
--Evan Mecham, then governor of Arizona
- "Nixon has been sitting in the White House while George McGovern has been
exposing himself to the people of the United States."
--Frank Licht, then governor of Rhode Island, campaigning for McGovern in
- "Retraction: The 'Greek Special' is a huge 18 inch pizza and not a huge 18
inch penis, as described in an add. Blondie's Pizza would like to apologize
for any confusion Friday's ad may have caused."
--correction printed in The Daily Californian
- "Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls
off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing
for the Padres!"
--Jerry Coleman, Padres radio announcer
- "I want you to take your balls in your hand and bounce them on the floor
then throw them as high as you can. Now, have you all got your balls in
--announcer of children's radio show "Life With Mother" to her audience
- They X-Rayed my head and found nothing.
--Jerome "Dizzy" Dean
- "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this
century's history.... We all lived in this century. I didn't live in this
- "I never considered the fact that a woman might judge you by your
ball." Dan Scherrer 12/96 after his volleyball was rejected for use by
some random woman.