ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS
A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform. 
 
ON MATERIALISM
He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead. 
 
ON ECONOMICS
The cost of living has not affected its popularity. 
 
ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has
printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University
 
ON MODERNISM
Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two.  One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with
brightly colored machine tools.
 
ON MINIMALISM:
Q: How many minimalists does it take to change a light bulb? 
A: One
 
ON MATERIAL SCIENCE
Character density:  The number of very weird people in the office. 
 
ON EXTINCTION
Save the whales.  Collect the whole set. 
 
ON LITERATURE
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly.  It should be  thrown with
great force.
-- Dorothy Parker
 
ON HUMILITY
To err is human, to moo bovine.  
     
ON NUMBERS
Grabel's Law:  2 is not equal to 3---not even for very large values of 2.
 
ON WORLD POLITICS
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
     
ON PROBLEM SOLVING
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to  resemble a
nail.
-- Abraham Maslow 

From: Mike