Rants

Why is my Mail Always Late?

11-12-03

Yes, I heard it so often when I was a letter carrier. "Why is my mail always delivered late?", and "Why can't I get my mail early in the morning instead of late in the afternoon?" The answer is that the letter carrier works about 5 hours on the street (plus or minus 3), and 2 or 3 hours in the office. Since the letter carrier is on the street delivering mail for at least 5 hours, it is a physical impossibility for everyone to get their mail at the same time. The letter carrier has a route, and the first block on the route gets their mail first, and the last block on the route gets their mail last. This concept is very difficult for complaining postal patrons to grasp, seemingly, but eventually the concept is absorbed, and then the next question - and a legitimate one - is, "Why can't my block be first sometimes - it's not fair!"

No, it is not fair, but letter carriers cannot often re-shuffle the route. Indeed, they can't just decide to deliver a different block first from time to time. The route is supposedly set out for efficiency and to vary would be to lead to mistakes and delay. Not to mention the virulent and shrill complaining of people on blocks which were first and which are now last.

But as it says in the Bible "the first shall become the last and the last shall become the first". This can happen when the routes are adjusted, a procedure fraught with speedups and pain. When a letter carrier has a couple of large blocks added to her/his route (in place of a nice small block taken away), that's when the decision is made as to where to put these new blocks. They wind up worked into the existing route where it is logical that they go. If a new block is close to the existing first blocks it will be put near the beginning of the route; if it's close to the last blocks, it will be put towards the end of the route. Then the letter carrier will get ready for the ensuing comments that will be heard to the point of insanity, "Gee, you're a lot faster than that other mailman we had before!" and conversely, "We always got our mail early when our old mailman was here - why are you so slow?"