I was just wandering through emails to the various autism lists I'm on, as I do every day, and taking note (as usual) at the proportion of people that post about problems about living in an NT society, versus those that actually take some time to help others or change things.
It occurred to me that what will allow NTs to destroy us in the long run isn't that there are more of them, or that we're somehow inherently weaker, but our own near-total failure to respond at all. As in most NTs, there is an attitude of "if it isn't happening to me, I'll just pretend it doesn't exist" in the adult autism community. Most people won't reply to a post even if they have firsthand experience dealing with an issue; they'll talk above and around it, focus on anything other than the problem itself, mention periodically that they are upset at the NT world, yet when push comes to shove, they don't care to give the effort to do so much as write a letter.
We're ultimately going to reach a point in time where the NTs will be able to force "cures" even on the adults. They'll be able to do it not because we're smaller or weaker, but because most of humanity -- whether AC or NT -- is too damned self-centered to care as long as they're not personally bothered at that instant. In other words, everyone has the attitude of "if it doesn't benefit me directly, I'm not going to bother" yet gets upset that there are so many obstacles left standing for us. It's not going to get better if nobody makes an effort to improve things...
Posted by moggy at July 29, 2003 01:12 PM | TrackBackI know all of that. I'm one of the "bad" ones when it comes to speaking up. I'm trying to break the habit, but it's slow going. I appreciate the reminder that it's something that I and others need to keep working on.
Posted by: Zathras on July 29, 2003 02:36 PMMmmmm. I suppose the trouble is that most of us on the spectrum find it difficult to step out of our own lives and take an interest in the problems others face. The only area in which I feel remotely qualified/equipped/whatever to help is where NT parents have recently received a diagnosis or are struggling to cope with the behaviours of their offspring, as being a parent of an AS child and being AS myself I have a perspective which may be helpful to some people particularly in how they view autism. Is it so much that people cant be bothered with what doesn't presently affect them, or that they cant see its relevance as they have not experienced it?
And what can be done? Personally I feel that the best way to improve the lot of autistic spectrum people at large is through promoting ourselves as people, however the media only sees what it wants to see... which may account for the attitude of many NTs... hope this makes some sense
Today I did about as much advocating as I had the capacity to do.. which is to say, I came home and told my partner what happened and he put me in the car and drove back and fixed things.
I had gone to the financial aid office to try to straighten out the dismal mess that they have made of my financial aid request. The woman behind the counter was not being very helpful or very polite even though I believe I was doing an admirable job of remaining calm, clearly explaining the situation, and using polite words and tones of voice.
Finally she told me that the online promissory note I spent two hours filling out last night "doesn't count" and I had to refill out a paper version.
"But I filled it out online last night."
"I don't see it in the computer. It doesn't count. You should have filled out the paper form."
"I wasn't sent the paper form. I was sent a letter with a URL."
"The computer says we haven't printed your paper form yet."
"Can't I print out the pdf file the online site gave me after I finished filling it out?"
"No, the online site doesn't count."
"If it doesn't count, then why was a given a URL and told to go there?"
At this point, her eyes went dead and she didn't answer.
"Is there anything else I need to be aware of?"
She said nothing, turned her back on me and walked several steps away, ignoring both me and everyone behind me in line.
"Excuse me, I'm just very confused because my case has gotten so muddled. I just want to be sure that I'm not missing anything that could detain my financial aid."
She remained silent, continued to face away from me and walked several feet down the counter so that she was behind a partition where I could barely see her anymore.
I waited a minute to see if she would come back. She didn't (though I could still see the edge of her shirt and hair.) I yelled, "thank you, goodbye" and left.
When I came home and told my partner what happened, he took me back and he asked to speak to the administrator. He explained the situation and told her what the other woman had done (the other woman left the office very quickly when she saw us come in).
The administrator explained that there had been communication problems between the national promissory computer and their local computer. She printed out the last page of the promissory note for me on the spot (so I only have to fill out three small things, not the huge monster I did last night). She was very kind and had the kind of voice that feels like a cool drink of water on a hot day.
The administrator carefully went through my account and found the other two things I need to do but hadn't been notified of yet (due to my case getting so messed up. Probably by the worker who had been so rude to me) and I could tell that she was going to personally take care of my case and make sure it went through.
So in one way I *did* advocate for myself today but I did it by going to someone bigger and stronger and calmer and more persistant than I am and asking them to please help me.
Posted by: Sparrow on July 31, 2003 06:21 PM
