Forum II : Improbable Tales
Please read the poem and comments below, and then join us in a discussion of this poem by adding your comments. You may wish to comment upon the poem directly, or comment on the other comments.
Josh Hevesy
The famous recluse hides from friends
And others of that ilk
To let the hours spin their trends
Like hair that's turned to milk
Momma braved him as a lad
Not to fear the road
"It curves and forks before the end
So carry half a load"
But wise men chided only fools
Would keep the magic hid
"Shoot it up and break the rules"
Amazingly he did
He hears that Elvis lives again
A blue-haired lady swore
She saw him as she bought her gin
At the Safeway store
He flicks the chat off with a stick
To turn the safe-house black
And watches shadows play the walls
Like a night attack
The hardened steel lays in his hands
From a well-oiled fence
And once again he sees the stands...
"Thank you, my good friends!"
June, 1997
Josh's questions:
In doing this assignment in ballad/rhyme form I find a potential danger in trite expression. It's easy to fall prey to clichés or tired phrases.
--I tried to avoid that pitfall.
The flip side of that coin is going too far the opposite way, making use of images that are too obscure or similes/metaphors that are forced.
-- How well did I succeed?