What a horrid ending.
What a terrible finish,
for what had been so beautiful.
The wondrous feelings and emotion in this relationship
rose, and swelled, and created such a bright light
          that I didn't see the end sneaking up on me.
I should have.
I know I should have.
But I didn't, through lack of foresight
and a reckless abandon that I couldn't help
as I threw myself into something I loved so dearly
          that I had never been able to experience before
          and wanted wanted wanted
                    so much
I'm sorry.
Once again, I'm sorry.
It's my fault that it ended up this way,
that, despite love, we were separated.

I'd fight,
but I am pinned down,
and nothing I do can change this.
My eloquent words, always seeming to fail in this area,
always seeming to anger instead of calm,
to aggravate instead of sooth.
I can't help it, and I can't help this.
I've been sitting here for months, asking:
"What do I do?"
I think I finally know the answer.
I think I knew it a long time ago, but couldn't face it
          -I didn't want to face it.
What do I do?
Nothing.
I do nothing.
I sit here and take this,
I sit here and suffer,
I sit here and cry my eyes out,
because that's all I can do,
and nothing works, nothing makes it stop.
I can't halt it, I can't make it cease,
I can't even make it slow down.
There is no answer to this problem,
There is no ultimate solution,
and all I can do is suffer the consequences.
All I can do is take this blow, again and again
and again until I stop feeling the pain.
I take this because it's what I brought upon myself.
Every bit of agony, every piece of torment,
is what I created it.
          I created it, and I'm going to let it kill me.
                    Because I deserve it.