I'm shaking.

hahahahahaha

The absurdity of it makes me laugh.
Mentally, I am beyond ready.
      My mind is calm.
      I am am calm.
My body is not.

Emotions have always been extreme for me.
When I got in fights in elementary school,
I had the mental nickname Leaks.
When I got in fights
      even if I won
I'd be crying.
Sometimes even before a fight started.
      I'd be furious,
           -we'd push each other
           -glaring, yelling

. . . and suddenly . . .
. . . tears are in my eyes . . .

Dammit, not again.

*flashback*

I'm standing on the porch.
Talking on the phone
      serious (very)
There's a cold breeze,
and my body quakes.
Yet I'm not shivering:
I'm not cold.
I'm shaking - not shivering
Yet I'm not really sure why.

I've always loved emotional music,
To go into my room,
turn out the lights
and enclose myself
      within it

So if you're curious why I'm shaking . . .
It's not because I'm afraid,
or even because I'm nervous
Which I suppose I am
      (but less than I expected I'd be)
It's just because this means something to me.

Surprised?