I saw myself in the future today.
When I was sitting in the back of the car,
Staring out the window
as trees went blurring past.
I realized what I'd be like.
What I would aspire to be,
Where I'd fail, and where I'd succeed.

I saw myself, standing on a wood porch:
          burnished, furnished, stained
          built with my own hands
It came down in staircases and steps -
at curious angles that caught my attention
          just right
          just how I liked it.
I was standing there,
a glass in my hand,
looking out from the porch.

I wonder if I will have kept my resolution . . .
Will it be wine or juice in the glass?

The sun is shining down on the porch
in those last tinges of day
where the light fades,
and turns everything orange.
I turn and lean against the railing,
the sun behind me.
My blonde hair has finally lost the battle
and has turned to a light brown.
          A brown that glows in the sun.

I see me as a father.

I could never stand kids,
but I firmly believe
that one day I'll get over it.
I'll muster enough courage,
          (and enough patience)
to take on such a daunting task.
I see two kids running around,
in a backyard with a lawn,
and a wooden fence.
Two half-asian boys.

I'll do my best to be patient -
To not be controlling,
To be loving,
To not be foolish.
I'll be a Quiet Angry -
like my father:
the way I express displeasure
will be silent,
an anger that is emanated
          instead of vocalized.
I don't want to yell at my kids.

I can see my wife,
standing beside me instead of behind me,
running a hand along my shoulder.
I see her, and smile,
leaning back to kiss her softly on the cheek
before looking back off the balcony.
The sun shines off her black hair,
falling on her face in the way that I love.

This . . . vision . . . was the closest thing
that I've seen to my future,
coming to me in a wave of soft colors
and warmth.
The feelings that it made me feel
made me hope it comes true.