Peace

I don't like holding a grudge.
I really don't.
However, my dear,
there are some things that can't be forgotten
          -some things that can't be left behind
                    quite so easily.

I know you still want to be friends.
Your repeated attempts to bypass
          my one-word replies
          irritate me
Just let it lie.
Let it drop.
Go away.
It was easy for you to drop me,
so why is it so difficult to drop this?
I don't want to see you.
I don't want to be friends.
I know you failed to respect my wishes before,
but how about honoring this one?
How about giving me one thing,
after all you've taken from me?
Give me some peace.

Stop trying to talk to me.
I hate it when you do that.
Why?
I hate it because it reminds me.
It reminds me of how much I put into you:
          the amount of trust,
          the amount of effort,
          the amount of caring,
                    all of which I gave
freely, openly (blindly)
It reminds me of what you said:
          "I promise.
          I promise I'll be faithful to you."
It reminds me of how much you fucked me,
When I did nothing to deserve it.
I gave you nothing bit the truth,
And you lied to me. Repeatedly.

                                                            -exhale-

When I am reminded of these things,
I only become angrier.
I don't want to be angry;
I want to let this go.
I want to let you go.
But you're not letting me do that.
Please.
          Just give me some peace.