I admit that I'm hiding.
I have to restrain myself,
have to hold back.
What I truly want to say always rises in me,
fighting to gain access to my mouth.
So far, I have held it down, but not defeated it.
For everything I say:
          every statement,
          every line,
there is more that goes unsaid,
more that I feel, but don't say,
because I don't want to frighten you.
I am genuinely afraid that if I showed you everything,
you would turn away.
You would not know how to react.
It would be too much to handle,
so you would turn away.
I couldn't stand for that to happen,
so I must hold back.
I must restrain myself,
to keep from losing you,
before I even have found you.