and all that could be
          (but isn't)
                   yet?
could it be?
I believe it could
it just...has not yet occurred.
                   yet.
shall it?
it depends.
it depends on if I make it --
if I make it occur
what holds me back?
I don't know. (consider)
uncertainty.
          (of what?)
no, just uncertainty.
I feel uncertain.
          (of what?)
of all.

I am no longer a risk-taker.
I am no longer a daredevil.
Whatever feelings of those may have been
          they are gone.
          they have been eradicated
I don't want, don't like, to risk things
But I am driven.
By what?

Is it want or is it need?

As of late,
my life has not been paced.
Things seem to never happen,
          (until they do.)
And then, they happen
          all at once, fastastheypossiblycan.
I don't just want to be the actor:
I want to be the director, as well.
"Speed through that part," I would say.
"Slow it down there. Make it last.
Those are feelings that are hard to come by,
and I want to savor them."
Because if I don't fight for it,
I'll never get the chance.
And I want even more than a chance.

Things are going fast,
and I know I'm going to end up
in a field by the road,
watching the cars pass.
"I've done that," I'll say.
"No more."
I'll be lying.
I know I'll go back,
          I'll get back on the road.
I can't seem to stay away.
There are parts of it that I just love too much,
and can't stand to be without.

I guess it is need.