1996 "A Bit of Advice" By Derek J. Barbee
Any resemblance to actual characters are not coincidental. ; )
Joseph, Bahb, and all other independent creations of Joseph DeLaCroix are the copyrighted property of JoCo Inc. Commander Packbell, Bookshire Draftwood, and Sandra Nightweaver are the copyrighted property of David Pistone. All rights reserved. Pause for bourgeois legalities: This story is copyright ©1996 by the author, who grants permission to reproduce and distribute it, so long as A) you don't screw around with it and leave the text as it is, and B) you don't try and make some cash off of it. If you're serious about the latter, drop me a line barbees@sonic.net and we'll discuss my cut. All the normal provisions of Title 17 (the U.S. Copyright Law) still apply.
Based on characters and situations created by Sega Corporation, Archie Comics and/or DiC Productions. Bookshire Draftwood appears in this story courtesy of David Pistone Talent Associates.
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Author's Note: In this story, I am having a special *guest appearance*! A friend of mine kept writing some stories and included me in one of them as Derek Echidna. She was Cher Echidna. So, in this story, I am having both Cher and Derek appear in the storyline.
Note to Psycho: Psych, man I love yer stories, but the "Famous Psycho" stuff is gettin' old. Yes, In this story, I put the "Famous" part in just to spite you. Ha ha.
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Colin balanced an apple on his head. "There is an art to this, y'know. So keep quiet."
Jakkon smiled and was silent as he watched Colin preform this ludicrous act.
The apple on Colin's head wobbled and began to fall. With an experet twist of his head, Colin flicked the apple up in the air. It came back down an landed hard on Colin's head.
Thok!
Colin winced. "Dangit! Usually the apple comes down softly!"
Jakkon picked up the apple. "Here. Lemme try." He raised the apple up and set it gently on his head. He balanced it there for a moment, then flicked his head up as Colin had done. The apple came back down . . . into Jakkon's open mouth.
Jakkon managed a grin with his mouth full of the oversized morsel. "Shee? Thatch's how yer shupposed ta do it!"
Colin waved a hand disgustedly. "Pig out you moron. You'll never learn."
Jakkon, still munching on the apple, stood up and headed out the door. "Well, keep practicing. What for, I don't know."
"Hmmph! And you won't learn if you don't have respect for it either!" Colin called after him.
Jakkon stuck his head back in the door. "Respect what? An apple? Are ya off yer bally rocker?"
Colin snorted and lay down. "Ahhh, get out o' here, ya great lump!"
Jakkon strode briskly away from Colin's hut, savoring the nice, long, early summer days. It was these sort of days where you could just relax. No distractions, no irritations . . . it was just so peaceful."
"Jakkon? Where are you?!?"
Jakkon winced. So much for peaceful.
Jerena spotted him and ran over. "There you are! Have you seen Dakkon? He's disappeared again."
Jakkon looked down at her. "Ya know, yer cute when yer angry."
Whack!
Jakkon felt his cheek and grinned. "I take it this is no laughing matter? Wonderful. I'll turn of my automatic joke machine."
"Oh, great. Make jokes."
"All right. A crocodile and a giraffe go into a bar . . ."
"JAKKON!!!"
Jakkon backed down. "Okay, okay, chill hot stuff. I'll go look for him."
Jerena watched him go and shook her head. There were times when that fox was just so . . . so . . . frustrating yet loveable.
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"Dakkon? Dakkon, me little bucko, where are yeh?"
Jakkon scratched his head. Maybe, just maybe, he had taught that little scamp too well at hidng and camouflage.
A flash of movement caught Jakkon's eye. A flash of red. He immediately ducked down in the bushes to avoid being seen. It worked. He practically disappeared.
A bright red echidna wearing a red shirt and wide legged pants was standing in the middle of the path, looking confused.
"Strange," it said. "I thought that Knothole was around here somewhere."
A second echidna, this one female stepped up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Derek, I think we're lost." She had stunning long quills which she pulled back in a braid with one loose, which hung across her face, giving her a nice look.
Derek looked down, as if embarrassed to admit to the other echidna that they were lost. "Yeah, I think so."
Jakkon stood up from his hiding place. "Actually, yer not. Knothole is half a mile north of here."
The two echidnas looked startled. They hadn't even noticed Jakkon.
Derek shook away the look of amazment and grinned. "Hey, thanks."
Jakkon nodded. "Don't mention it. I live there, too. You . . . new around here? Don't get many blinkin' echidnas in this hole."
Derek shookhis head. "I'm not new. I've been living here in Knothole with my little friend Inferno Firefox." He guestered towards the pretty female, who smiled in acknowledgement. "This is my friend Cher Echidna. We were out on a little trip and sort of lost our way back."
Jakkon raised an eyebrow at the word 'trip', but didn't interrupt. "I see. Well, if you'll follow me, I can get ya back. As a matter of fact . . ." he trailed off and held up a hand for silence. In a sudden movement, he leaped at a bush and dove in. There was a tinny yelp and scuffling noises. Jakkon reappeared, holding a small, struggling fox babe.
"Lemme go! Don' wanna go back! Wanna stay an' play!" cried the little kit.
"Oh, no you don't!" said Jakkon, holding the small one tighter. "You mum's been looking all over for you! She's been worried sick!"
Dakkon rolled his eyes and recited the well known lecture. "Yes, yes. Lickle rougue, runnin' and hidin' inna booshes, scarin' us sick wit worry!"
Jakon looked over at the two echidnas, who were stunned once again. "Well!" said Jakkon as if nothing had happened. "Let's get going!"
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Jakkon and the two echidnas sailed into Knothole with Dakkon, still struggling, in tow. Jakkon spread his arms wide.
"Knothole! Here y'are, chaps!" He winked at Cher. "And chapesses, of course!"
Bewildered, Cher looked at Derek, who shrugged. Derek turned to Jakkon. "So, could do us with one more tiny favor?"
"Sure! Never let down one in need, I say!"
"What's your name?"
Jakkon grinned. "Ya haven't guessed by now? Ah, well. People are no good at figurin' out riddles and the sort these days. I'm Jakkon!"
Derek's jaw dropped. "The famous mercenary? The one who destroyed Packbell? The one who went into that other dimension?"
"One and the same," winked Jakkon.
And with that, he was gone.
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Jakkon was leaning back in his chair on the front porch one night when a timid voice came from the bushes. "Jakkon, sir?"
Jakkon waved a hand. "Never mind the sir. Come on out."
Derek stepped out of the bushes. "Hi. Just came to see you."
"Hi, to you, too."
There was silence for a moment.
"Well," said Jakkon, snorting, "are you gonna stand there all night or come sit down?"
Derek sat down, his eyes twinkling.
Jakkon leaned back and sighed contentedly. "So, care to tell me a bit about yaself? How ya got here, when ya got here and who was that pretty young thing you were with?"
Derek blushed. "That was Cher. I was here for a while. Just came in when the Floating Island's inhabitants starting moving away a few years ago. Cher, she's Knuckles' brother, y'know."
Jakkon sat up. "Knux's sister?"
Derek nodded. "Yup."
He leaned back again. "Cool."
There was silence again. Derek looked up at the night sky, the twinkling night stars. The wind rushed through the trees, sending a breeze across the porch where they were sitting.
"You love her, don't you?" asked Jakkon abruptly.
Derek looked away. "Well, we just met so suddenly. It's hard to explain. I saw her walking along, shuffling her feet. And I just popped down and said hello. That's how it all started." He sighed. "Kind of amazing when you think about it."
Jakkon's eyes burned into Derek. "But you do love her?"
It was a long time before Derek replied.
"Yes."
Jakkon nodded satisfactorily and turned away.
Derek growled with frustration. "But it's impossible to say anything without being embarrassed! So many times I tried to talk to her, but I just can't do it! It's impossible!"
Jakkon tut-tutted. "Weiler's Law-- Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it all himself."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Look to a friend for the answer."
Derek opened his mouth, then closed it again. Jakkon stood up and walked inside the hut, leaving Derek to think about this.
"Look to a friend for the answer."
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Jakkon was awakened early the next moring by a sharp knock on the door. Jakkon raised his head and groaned. "What beast could be knocking at the door at this hour."
"Bring the axe with you when you go to the door, dear," mumbled Jerena from beneath the sheets. "It might be a salesman."
Jakkon managed a harsh laugh and stumbled to the door, pulling on his jeans on the way. He opened the door wide and looked around. No one was there. The only thing unusual was a letter on the doorstep. Jakkon picked it up and read it aloud:
"Dear Jakkon,
I gonna go try it! Hey, I talked to you, didn't I? I'll let you know how it turns out!
After I try it, that is. Later!
Derek Echidna"
Jakkon tucked the letter in his pocket and smiled. "That crazy kid."
Jerena called from inside. "Maybe I should write a letter to that Cher. Tell her that while a friend holds you affectionately by both your hands you are safe because you can watch both of his."
Jakkon laughed and closed the door.