CHAPTER FIVE: THREE-D ASTRAL
TEENAGE LOVE
My name
is Patty Pfiffer. I've been a Roman Cathaholick
none of thee above for forty-five years. You probably know my lil sister, the Hollywierd
actress. You know, Catwoman, the one who sings "Makin' Whopee" on top of the
grand piano Jeffy Bridges is playing in "The
Fabulous Baker Boys".
But this is about 1960 when I knew Denny
Norwood at Anderson Air Force Base on Guam in the
I first noticed Den when he ran for Senior
Class Reporter. Like class secretary or sumpthin.
Ram made signs, like a sketch of two martians
standing by a flying saucer and saying '
He was cute, the king. Six
feet tall and lanky. We called him Ichabod
Crane cuz his neck was so thin. He wanted to be an
actor. In the senior play, 'Nuts and Bolts', he played a funny old man who was
afraid of cats.
I tried to get R.L. to notice me but he
seemed more interested in the faster girls like Jane New and Sally Montgomery.
Or this torrid Guamanian number, Bonita Barrientos. We all went to Tumon
High, on a cliff above the ocean near Tamuning. Nix
try to find it now cuz a typhoon blew it away in 1969
or so.
On the base, we all hung out at the teen
center. Denny was crazy about rock and roll. He loved 'Mule Skinner Blues' by
the Fendermen which he played incessantly on the
jukebox.
I tried out for cheerleader of the
Anderson Youth Football team. Ra was the co-captain of the players. He had hot
legs with his sox rolled down to his low-cut cleats. The other girls didn't
like me, I suppose because my dad was the big cheese or something. They didn't
want me on the yell squad, so I just went to the games as a spectator. Mostly to watch Denny.
One game it was raining cats and dogs.
There was no one else in the stands. We were playing the Navy team from the
south end of the island. Neither offense could score. It was too wet. At the
last second, practically, his Lamaness knocked the
ball loose from the Navy quarterback, Butch Shiva, whose father was the
commander of Naval Air Station. I dated Butch once. Because Denny never asked
me out. Anywaze, the ball came loose and Ram fell on
it for the winning touchdown. I ran onto the field and threw my arms around his
neck. I pressed my plump lil teen bod
up against his hip pads. My air was dripping wet. He just took off his helmet and planted one on
me. Stuck his fat tongue halfway down my throat! I wuz
surprised and sorta gagged. But you know I loved it.
That's for sure.
After that, we were together for the
rest of our senior year. He would pick me up in his '49
Denny liked for me to wear a bikini. He
raved about my curves. Nobody else ever did. Or would.
I went to a convent in
Dr. Llama said I had the best legs he'd
ever seen, including movies and tv.
With the possible exception of Yvonne Craig. Batgirl
later, but then she was in "Gidget".
Legs were
his thang, total. He spent hours putting oil on mine
down at
It was like heaven I guess with Rey down at the shore. We made out on a blanket day and
night. But always with about half the time spent with him poring over my puffed
out gams. I thought my legs were kinda
fat. But Rama Lama said that was what blues songs
were all about: 'why do all the men go crazy/when a big leg woman come to
town....?'. He'd sing that to me, playing his ukelele like it was a Fender Stratocaster or something.
Just before we graduated (I was first in
scholastic records, Denny was tenth) he started tying me up sometimes. I know
it sounds harsh, but it was true love. He tied my wrists behind my back, then
to my ankles. It was pretty tight. I got v.v.v.
excited. I could feel something moving up my spine. Kundalini
I think they call it in Sanskrit. A few times he put a red bandana in my mouth.
For some reason that REALLY did it to me. I had my first (and only) orgasm.
Like consciousness opened up so wide I screamed, cried and prayed.
Then he was off on a theatre scholarship
to the