Homelessness…the Final Solution

By Robert L. Rush

We've all seen them; sleeping in doorways, pushing stolen shopping carts down the sidewalk, urinating in alleys, digging through dumpsters, begging at intersections, lining up for handouts. And if that weren't enough, you can't watch TV or read a newspaper without being confronted by the awful images; camping in our parks, trading food stamps for booze, selling sex to buy drugs. It's a national disgrace!

Of course the media would have you believe that this is society's problem, that somehow we have a responsibility to lend a helping hand to these losers. And their allies, the liberal politicians, have set out to solve the problem with their usual socialist tactic, by throwing money at it. That's right…ill-gotten tax dollars are being spent on food, clothing, and shelter for these bums in a soft-headed attempt to make the problem go away.

WAKE UP AMERICA! It's time to give these freeloaders some tough love. I know what you're thinking, America. These people are vagrants, and there are laws against vagrancy. Why isn't some one out there enforcing the law? You know the answer as well as I do. The yellow-bellied liberal politicians haven't got the guts to let the police do their jobs. If you ask them (and I have) they whine about the overcrowding in our jails and prisons and not having the resources to lock these people away (God forbid we should cramp the style of those poor convicts, but that's an issue for another essay). No, instead of investing money into building more prisons they would rather squander it on "outreach programs".

So, in the spirit of compromise, I offer a solution…one which removes these rabble form our streets without overburdening our chronically underfunded penal system. I propose that we institute the death penalty for vagrancy. Harsh, you say? I ask you, is any price to high for removing this blight from our urban landscape? Never again having these low life's hassle shoppers on the street. Never having our senses repulsed by the wretchedness of their existence. Inhumane? Hardly. I daresay lethal injection (or even hanging) is far more humane than freezing to death in a cardboard box. We'd be doing these miserable bastards a favor. This ought to nail the Nobel Prize for me. So call your congressman and tell that pinko limpwrist to vote for the death penalty for vagrancy.

Because it's Right

Because it's the Truth

Because I said so!

The opinions expressed on this site do not represent those of the author or of any person living or dead. This is a political parody site intended as satire. Anyone finding themselves in agreement with the opinions expressed on this site is encouraged to immediately seek professional help .