Reprinted from "Robert L. Rush…Pillar of Right"

Robert L. Rush was born July 4, 1945, in the small community of Bumphuc, Oklahoma, the son of a marketing representative for a pre-owned vehicle agency and a common housewife. Growing up, Mr. Rush was an average student, listing his favorite subjects as "recess and the Pledge of Allegiance". The highlight of Mr. Rush's secondary education was prom night of 1963, when he wed his high school sweetheart, the former Bobby Sue Jenkins. Shortly after graduation that year she bore him a son, Joe Bob, whom Mr. Rush has reason to believe is employed in the building trades back in Oklahoma.

Mr. Rush then enrolled at Oklahoma State University on a football scholarship. It was here that Mr. Rush met his second wife, the former Candi Lee Cummings. However, her emerging feminist beliefs coupled with his immense popularity among the female student body spelled a quick end to the marriage. After the NCAA ban on steroid use ended his dreams of a pro football career, Mr. Rush continued his studies and graduated from O.S.U. in 1968 with a degree in engineering.

When cutbacks in the railroad industry brought an untimely end to his engineering career, Mr. Rush enlisted in the military, and was assigned to a special intelligence unit under the command of Col. Robert W. Bobsworth. It was during a tour of Vietnam that Mr. Rush met his third wife, the former Tai Mi Up. While she chose to remain in Vietnam with their infant daughter, Mr. Rush returned stateside where he performed several assignments in the Nixon administration, including security liaison to the Chilean Government and contraband procurement officer for Air America, before drawing assignment as an intelligence operative with the Committee to Re-Elect the President.

After his release from prison, Mr. Rush returned to the private sector as an independent contractor/freedom fighter for the democratic regimes in the Philippines, South Africa, Nicaragua, and Iran. During the early days of the Reagan administration Mr. Rush returned to public service in the National Security Agency. It was during this time that Mr. Rush met his fourth wife at a Washington gala, the former Bambi von Reich-Stad. Mr. Rush eventually rose to the rank of Special Courier in the Alternative Funding division of the Agency's Contra program, under the supervision of his old friend, Col. Oliver North.

After his release, Mr. Rush returned to the private sector, being appointed to the Board of Directors of Lincoln Savings and Loan.

While awaiting his release, Mr. Rush completed a correspondence course and received a degree in divinity from Anal Roberts University. Shortly after, with his fifth wife, the former Tammy Faye Scheinblum, Mr. Rush started a small ministry in Simi Valley, California along with a weekly radio program on a local station in which he postulated his views on political, moral, and social issues. His oratorical style and his grasp of the fundamental issues caught the attention of the major talk radio outlet in Los Angeles, Hot-Talk KKK, after his landmark radio sermon, "Rodney King Had It Coming".

As we enter the new millennium Robert L. Rush, who today enjoys a comfortable life at his Malibu home with his sixth wife, the former Miss February, Dawn Hill, has become perhaps the pre-eminent syndicated conservative commentator in America. With his macho charisma and his take-no-prisoners rhetoric, Mr. Rush has become a rising star who's name commands a hefty price on the lecture, public appearance, and fund raising circuits. He has become an increasingly influential figure in Republican circles, who has even been mentioned as a potential candidate for high office, and many of his proposals, considered extremist at one time, are receiving consideration for their common sense and rational solutions to complex problems. Whether he's battling the liberal media or uncovering communist conspiracies, Robert L. Rush lives his life by three fundamental principles:

Because it's Right

Because it's the Truth

Because I said so!

The opinions expressed on this site do not represent those of the author or of any person living or dead. This is a political parody site intended as satire. Anyone finding themselves in agreement with the opinions expressed on this site is encouraged to immediately seek professional help .