We Get It!
By Robert L. Rush
I recently received an e-mail from a person of the liberal persuasion challenging my position on the energy crisis. This person trotted out the same old liberal media mumbo-jumbo to justify his misguided position on the subject. I won't bore you with the particulars of his fallacious argument
(text enclosed for the sleep deprived). The gist of the communiqué was a rehash of the old liberal media allegations of some grand conspiracy between Bush and the oil companies to manipulate energy prices in order to steal the election, so as to promote their agenda and rip off the consumers. The writer digresses to asseverate a rather dubious testimonial to the traitor Jeffords and concludes with a scurrilous attack on my good friend and fellow patriot Haley Barbour.Rather than embark on a lengthy and tedious rebuttal of these ridiculous charges, let me take this opportunity to analyze the fundamental differences between the conservative and liberal intellect in an effort to elucidate why we are always right and they are always wrong.
WAKE UP AMERICA! The simple truth is that liberalism is a genetic defect of the higher brain function, which causes deviant thought patterns to manifest in irrational concepts such as peace and love. Remembering that I'm a trained scientist and you're not, let me try to explain this in jargon that even the most uneducated backwoods inbred moron (I say this in the very best sense of the term) would understand.
The mind, like the body, is equipped with an immune system. Just as the body's immune system works to prevent infection, the brain's immune system (when healthy) prevents debility caused by cerebral fatuousness. Liberal ideology, the fruit of Satan's demonic brew, is a malignant and pandemic intellectual virus that targets the weak-minded and those with a predilection toward "freethinking". In the normal (Conservative) mind, the brain's immune system protects the mind from specious cogitations such as minimum wage, gun control, and the ERA by erecting barriers to restrict thought patterns to traditionally sanctioned parameters.
It is in the diseased mind of the liberal where the labor of Mephistopheles is allowed to fester and spread, corrupting other minds through his prophets in the media. It creates holes in the brain's ozone layer through which putrescent concepts such as equality and vegetarianism are allowed to infect the mind, filling it with fruitless concepts until they spill out of every orifice, corrupting other minds where the immune system is at less than full strength. This erosion of the moral and mental fiber represents an epidemic of apocalyptic proportions, which threatens the future of mankind.
That is the challenge which confronts the modern Conservative, one in which we must not waver in our beliefs. And primary in those beliefs is the belief that we are right. We are right because we are smarter than the liberals. The liberal mind, in darwinian terms, is evolutionary cabbage...while the Conservative mind represents God's most perfect creation. We get it! It's as simple as that.
Because it's Right
Because it's the Truth
Because I said so!
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