Tuned In, Switched On

12/23/05

Tuned In, Switched On

The Sound Engineer counted down "In five...four...three...two.." and the man of the other side of the glass leaned forward toward the microphone.

"You're listening to "What's Shaking?" at KDBS, the public voice of PD here in Tasmar County. I'm your host, Chris Kinesia, and I'll be here for the next hour talking about everything PD.

"All of our lines are open so call and let's get down and dirty about PD. We have Mary from Booger Creek on line one".

"Hello Mary. What's shaking?"

"Hello, Chris....I'm a long time listener first-time caller. I've had PD for almost 6 years (I'm 56). It's been especially difficult since my husband had a stroke two months ago. I'm afraid I'm not much help for his situation since I'm either twisting or trembling. Chris, do the PD symptoms and side-effects become easier to take as the disease progresses?"

"Oh Mary, bless your heart. I'm sorry to hear how rough your situation must feel. PD forces us to be fighters or to just give up. Mary, don't assume that PD keeps you from doing anything until you check it out yourself..

I say the Sinemet Prayer every morning

Santa, grant me the Sinemet
To accept yet another thing that I cannot do
The Paxil to deal with the things I can
And the substantia nigra to even know the difference

So hang in there, Mary. Be a fighter and try the Sinemet Prayer now and then when times feel tough".

"Chris we have Andy calling from Stickville on line three ...."

"Hello Andy, What's Shaking?"

"Hi Chris. I haven't dated in over ten years because of Parkinson's, I'm going to the movies tonight with someone I met at the mall today. My on-times are not predictable when anything new is introduced into my life.and I'm worried that I will miss something. Can you give me any tips for tonight?"

"Andy, here are some simple ways of handling things:

* Keep walking to a minimum...ask her to meet you there.

* Take your money out of your wallet and keep it in a shirt pocket rather than play the I-can't-get-my-wallet-out (which always seemed like a PDer's ploy to get someone else's hands in their pants).

* Tell her you need to use the bathroom, ask her to get the refreshments and tell her you'll meet her inside. Wait until the previews start and then shuffle or stumble to your seat

* Make sure you aren't on a crowded row....try to get the aisle seat.

* Keep your good side next to her, keep the bad side out of sight

....or you could just tell her that you have PD and ask for her understanding,

In fact, that's the best tip of all.......we'll be right back in a minute after this"

"Tired of looking down at that same old clear plastic tubing running down from your naughty-bits to a dull plastic bag on the side of your bed? Well, no more. WE here at HAPPY CATH-Y are proud to present "What-A-Way-To-Go" catherization fun-kits. Yes, that's right, turn your daily deposits into a fun and beautiful experience.

For one LOW price, you get 10 different catheter tubes including

* Clowns
* Where's Waldo?
* Hawaiian Sunset
* Wild West

Each tube comes with a What-A-Way-To-Go matching catheter bag to help perk up your room!

But WAIT, there's more,

Remember those snow globes you shook up as a kid? Well, the folks here at HAPPY CATH-Y want to bring back those magic moments. Introducing "Urine Glitter". Just add a quarter cup of glitter when you change the bag and it will sparkle and pizzazz when your "daily offerings" arrive.

Dial 1-800-FUN-KITS today.....you'll be glad you did!

"It's a quarter after the hour here on KDBS. I'm your host, Chris Kinesia on "What's Shaking?," an hour devoted to PD and everything PD. The board is lit up so let's get to some more callers. We have Linda on line four"....Hello Linda, what's shaking?"

"Hello Chris. I'm talking to you on the speaker phone tonight cause my dyskinesia is so bad, I can hardly stand it!"

"I can hear you fine, Linda. Go ahead"

"I was diagnosed with Parkinson's at 21....way too young to deal with a chronic illness. Now it's 10 years later and I think I'm losing my mind. My meds only produce side-effects, not relief. As we speak, my body is trying to twist itself into a pretzel and I'm bobbing and weaving like a drunk boxer. I'm tired of being strong and the thoughts of suicide make more and more sense.....I'm open to any suggestions".

(Pregnant pause)

"Linda, life is worth living though every bone in your body is probably telling you otherwise. I've been where you are and survived. The problem, as you know, is that you're viewing life through PD-filters that remind you of your limitations as well as how things used to be. Another filter might tell you that your friends have abandoned you and nobody loves you.

Breathe. When you're anxious or upset over anything, stop whatever you're doing and breathe deeply. It's a simple but effective thing to do. Our bodies need oxygen to work at their best.

Ask your neurologist if you're eligible for DBS surgery. Hang tough, Linda!"

"Hello, who do we have on line four"

"Hello Chris this is Everett from West Jesus"

"What's shaking Everett?"

"Chris, I'm good friends with a man who's been dealing with PD on his own for the last five years. His lack of smell prevents him from doing something about a strong urine odor in his apartment.. He has very few visitors and they don't bring it up to him either. Can you suggest a way to approach this without calling attention to his disability?"

"Good question.....first of all, we're talking about one of Santa's creatures, not a fragile eggshell that will crack if you don't tiptoe around it. People struggling daily with PD are some of the toughest people I know. Words aren't gonna phase them; they're well aware they have a disability. Tell your friend it smells like a cross between a stable and a public urinal and even though you're Everett, he'll appreciate you being Frank with him".

"I rely on people treating me as a fellow time/space traveler, not a wounded bird to be pitied and coddled...my Sound Engineer is telling me we've got to cut to a commercial...I'll be back."

Tremor-House Products (serving Tasmar County PD-Community since 1990) provides PD gift ideas that will bring a smile to the face of that disabled friend or relative.

Fortunate Fortune Cookies with messages of hope:

* A stranger will keep you from falling in a public place
* You will find a clean and convenient restroom with grab bars
* It will be easy to dress yourself tomorrow morning

Goofy greeting cards:

* Sorry to hear about your constipation.....I've always considered you a regular kind of guy
* Is that a urine stain on your hospital gown....or are you happy just to have a visitor?
* You must have high ceilings,,,,,,I hear you're getting a trapeze installed over your bed

How-To Books:

* How To Get AM/FM On Your DBS Implants
* How To Make T-Shirts and Sweatpants Into A Year-Round Fashion Statement
* How To Open Childproof Containers (advanced series)

So call 1-800-TREMORS

Visit our store at 1950 East Potato Blvd. in Cowflop

"Hello to all you PD warriors, this is Chris Kinesia at half past the hour on What's Shaking?, a safe place to talk about PD, The board is lit up so let's take another call. We have Jessica on line two...hello Jessica...what's shaking?

"I have a question, forgive me, I'm nervous. I'm a woman in her late 30s. I met a great man who unfortunately has PD (I've heard him mention Stage 3 but I don't know what that means). My problem is that I want one of us to initiate the next step in our relationship. I want to know how to respect his situation but I have needs and desires. Does PD affect a person sexually?

"Oh, Jessica, yes.

Just like the PD mask hides smiles or frowns, there are sexual feelings that simmer just below the surface. But the medicines which were your friend eventually become your enemy. Tremoring in public is pretty non-eventful to watch, but dyskinesia can become a public freak show. Sinemet makes some people feel very sexual while an antidepressant like Paxil may kill sexual feelings in others. What if you take both of these?...I did for many years.

It may be difficult to talk to him about this but you gotta try. He may just want to hold hands or trade foot massages with you and this has to be okay with you. He can probably not do anything "on demand" so take it nice and slow. Jessica, PD is a tough disease and his self-esteem can use your support as a friend and a lover".

"On line one is Curtis....hello, Curtis....what's shaking?"

"Hi, Mr. Kinesia....I don't have PD...my Mom does"

"How old are you, Curtis?"

"Eleven"

"Tell me what's going on in your life...."

"Mom's right hand has been shaking for as long as I can remember. Last year, she set me down and told me she had Parkinson's disease and said that we'd learn more about it together, but she didn't ever talk to me about it again.

I looked it up and found a bunch of stuff like there's no cure and they don't know how it starts or how to stop it. It sounded like you get worse and worse till you die. Is my Mom gonna die soon...is she gonna tell me? Can my Mom give me Parkinson's? How do I know for sure?"

"Curtis, science hasn't been able to find a PD-connection between family members. As far as your mother's life expectancy, a lot depends on her diet and attitude. Think positive and ask your Mom to sit down with you like she said she would. Then she can tell you what she knows about PD."

"Thank you, Curtis, for calling in and sharing ...and keep listening!.......let's see, we have Virginia from Pig Choke on the line....what's shaking, Virginia?"

"Hi Chris....my whole family listens to your show. My younger brother, Paul, who endured PD for twelve years died yesterday unexpectedly (chokes up).

"I'm sorry to hear that, Virginia, was it complications with his PD?"

"No, Chris, he was hit by a bus (sound of rim shot fills the studio as Chris signals frantically to the Sound Engineer to kill the sound effects).....what I wanted to know was why did my prayers to Santa for a cure go unheard? .....does he really exist?"

"Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (brief struggle in the studio between Chris and the Sound Engineer to control the "rim shot button"). Santa exists in the hearts and souls of children all over Tasmar County where he watches over you and listens to your wishes and prayers".

"We'll take a pause for a commercial break"

"Introducing....MONOTONY

Monotony - a board game where you live as someone with PD. You proceed around the board gathering properties and picking up HMO bonus points while trying to avoid the Nursing Home and the Bone Yard. The winner is the first person to make it around the board with his/her medical coverage still intact.

Action Cards -
* wake-up
* mumble
* shuffle
* nap
* watch paint dry

Properties Cards -
* hairbrush
* meds
* false teeth
* enema bag

Player pieces -
* wheelchair
* toilet
* cane
* walker

Order your MONOTONY game today at any Parkinson's Brothers dealer.

"If you're just tuning in, you're listening to "What's Shaking?" at KDBS, the public voice of PD in Tasmar County. I'm your host, Chris Kinesia and I'll be taking you up to the top of the hour with everything PD"

"We've got Clark from Skillet Lick on line three.....what's shaking, Clark?

"My grandfather has PD and lives here at home. He can't dress or feed himself (Dad does this for him). He had brain surgery and had these things implanted in his chest....I think it was some kind of pacemaker. I discovered by accident that when I use "the clapper" near his bedroom , his things shut off...."

"Ladies and gentleman, I know Carl and his grandfather and we're sending someone over there immediately ...let's go to Dirk on line four ......hello, Dirk, what's shaking?"

"Hi Chris.....another night of great calls....I'm hoping you can help me too".

"I'm 17 and a safe driver. Mom is 47 and got diagnosed with PD five years ago and is not a good driver. She hasn't been in an accident but she's had many close calls. My Dad travels internationally and is unavailable to help me make a decision on what to do so I'm calling you"

"Well, Dirk, one of the hardest aspects of PD is giving up something you've done all your life. If your Mom can't understand why anyone would want to curtail her driving, the best thing to do is to contact her neurologist and explain your concerns. Their signature alone on DMV paperwork is enough to solve your situation. Let us know how things work out".

"All right, we've got time left for one more caller....let's take Beth on line two, what's shaking, Beth?"

"Hi Chris.....I'm 37 and I was diagnosed with PD a week ago. I can read facts about the disease but what does full-blown Parkinson's feel like?"

"When my meds aren't working just yet, my whole body aches and feels heavy. I can't find my balance and my brain feels like cotton candy. As I look out of my heavy eyes through a wall of jello at people staring at me, I think things like;

- Don't stare at me...I'm just switched off
- Are you looking at me? (my inner-voice starts doing De Niro)
- Behind this mask, I'm shooting you dirty looks
- Want to step outside?....and lock the door behind you?

When the meds kick in, I develop PD side-effects that causes erratic movement in my limbs and facial grimacing. When I see people staring, I think things like:

- Pay no attention to the man in the wheelchair
- I hate this disease
- Go on folks....keep moving.....nothing to see here
- I REALLY hate this disease

"There are times of sadness as you give up your driving, helping around the house and yard. There will be endless opportunities to feel sorry for yourself (pity parties), as well as time to take charge and plow ahead no matter what life throws at you (Whoa, this soapbox is sure rickety)".

"Beth, I hope your PD progresses slowly and that all your meds treat you well along the way."

"I want to thank everyone who contributed by sharing their PD life with us tonight. I hope my journey of fifteen years gives you a friend that can help you learn to live with PD. I want to thank KDBS for providing a place to broadcast PD-information shows like "What's Shaking?" here in Tasmar County. I want to thank our sponsors this last hour: HAPPY CATH-Y, TREMOR HOUSE PRODUCTS, and MONOTONY".

"I've been your host, Chris Kinesia..... goodnight"



		12/23/05 Tuned In, Switched On The Sound Engineer counted down "In five...four...three...two.." and the man of the other side of the glass leaned forward toward the microphone. "You're listening to "What's Shaking?" at KDBS, the public voice of PD here in Tasmar County. I'm your host, Chris Kinesia, and I'll be here for the next hour talking about everything PD. "All of our lines are open so call and let's get down and dirty about PD. We have Mary from Booger Creek on line one". "Hello Mary. What's shaking?" "Hello, Chris....I'm a long time listener first-time caller. I've had PD for almost 6 years (I'm 56). It's been especially difficult since my husband had a stroke two months ago. I'm afraid I'm not much help for his situation since I'm either twisting or trembling. Chris, do the PD symptoms and side-effects become easier to take as the disease progresses?" "Oh Mary, bless your heart. I'm sorry to hear how rough your situation must feel. PD forces us to be fighters or to just give up. Mary, don't assume that PD keeps you from doing anything until you check it out yourself.. I say the Sinemet Prayer every morning Santa, grant me the Sinemet To accept yet another thing that I cannot do The Paxil to deal with the things I can And the substantia nigra to even know the difference So hang in there, Mary. Be a fighter and try the Sinemet Prayer now and then when times feel tough". "Chris we have Andy calling from Stickville on line three ...." "Hello Andy, What's Shaking?" "Hi Chris. I haven't dated in over ten years because of Parkinson's, I'm going to the movies tonight with someone I met at the mall today. My on-times are not predictable when anything new is introduced into my life.and I'm worried that I will miss something. Can you give me any tips for tonight?" "Andy, here are some simple ways of handling things: * Keep walking to a minimum...ask her to meet you there. * Take your money out of your wallet and keep it in a shirt pocket rather than play the I-can't-get-my-wallet-out (which always seemed like a PDer's ploy to get someone else's hands in their pants). * Tell her you need to use the bathroom, ask her to get the refreshments and tell her you'll meet her inside. Wait until the previews start and then shuffle or stumble to your seat * Make sure you aren't on a crowded row....try to get the aisle seat. * Keep your good side next to her, keep the bad side out of sight ....or you could just tell her that you have PD and ask for her understanding, In fact, that's the best tip of all.......we'll be right back in a minute after this" "Tired of looking down at that same old clear plastic tubing running down from your naughty-bits to a dull plastic bag on the side of your bed? Well, no more. WE here at HAPPY CATH-Y are proud to present "What-A-Way-To-Go" catherization fun-kits. Yes, that's right, turn your daily deposits into a fun and beautiful experience. For one LOW price, you get 10 different catheter tubes including * Clowns * Where's Waldo? * Hawaiian Sunset * Wild West Each tube comes with a What-A-Way-To-Go matching catheter bag to help perk up your room! But WAIT, there's more, Remember those snow globes you shook up as a kid? Well, the folks here at HAPPY CATH-Y want to bring back those magic moments. Introducing "Urine Glitter". Just add a quarter cup of glitter when you change the bag and it will sparkle and pizzazz when your "daily offerings" arrive. Dial 1-800-FUN-KITS today.....you'll be glad you did! "It's a quarter after the hour here on KDBS. I'm your host, Chris Kinesia on "What's Shaking?," an hour devoted to PD and everything PD. The board is lit up so let's get to some more callers. We have Linda on line four"....Hello Linda, what's shaking?" "Hello Chris. I'm talking to you on the speaker phone tonight cause my dyskinesia is so bad, I can hardly stand it!" "I can hear you fine, Linda. Go ahead" "I was diagnosed with Parkinson's at 21....way too young to deal with a chronic illness. Now it's 10 years later and I think I'm losing my mind. My meds only produce side-effects, not relief. As we speak, my body is trying to twist itself into a pretzel and I'm bobbing and weaving like a drunk boxer. I'm tired of being strong and the thoughts of suicide make more and more sense.....I'm open to any suggestions". (Pregnant pause) "Linda, life is worth living though every bone in your body is probably telling you otherwise. I've been where you are and survived. The problem, as you know, is that you're viewing life through PD-filters that remind you of your limitations as well as how things used to be. Another filter might tell you that your friends have abandoned you and nobody loves you. Breathe. When you're anxious or upset over anything, stop whatever you're doing and breathe deeply. It's a simple but effective thing to do. Our bodies need oxygen to work at their best. Ask your neurologist if you're eligible for DBS surgery. Hang tough, Linda!" "Hello, who do we have on line four" "Hello Chris this is Everett from West Jesus" "What's shaking Everett?" "Chris, I'm good friends with a man who's been dealing with PD on his own for the last five years. His lack of smell prevents him from doing something about a strong urine odor in his apartment.. He has very few visitors and they don't bring it up to him either. Can you suggest a way to approach this without calling attention to his disability?" "Good question.....first of all, we're talking about one of Santa's creatures, not a fragile eggshell that will crack if you don't tiptoe around it. People struggling daily with PD are some of the toughest people I know. Words aren't gonna phase them; they're well aware they have a disability. Tell your friend it smells like a cross between a stable and a public urinal and even though you're Everett, he'll appreciate you being Frank with him". "I rely on people treating me as a fellow time/space traveler, not a wounded bird to be pitied and coddled...my Sound Engineer is telling me we've got to cut to a commercial...I'll be back." Tremor-House Products (serving Tasmar County PD-Community since 1990) provides PD gift ideas that will bring a smile to the face of that disabled friend or relative. Fortunate Fortune Cookies with messages of hope: * A stranger will keep you from falling in a public place * You will find a clean and convenient restroom with grab bars * It will be easy to dress yourself tomorrow morning Goofy greeting cards: * Sorry to hear about your constipation.....I've always considered you a regular kind of guy * Is that a urine stain on your hospital gown....or are you happy just to have a visitor? * You must have high ceilings,,,,,,I hear you're getting a trapeze installed over your bed How-To Books: * How To Get AM/FM On Your DBS Implants * How To Make T-Shirts and Sweatpants Into A Year-Round Fashion Statement * How To Open Childproof Containers (advanced series) So call 1-800-TREMORS or Visit our store at 1950 East Potato Blvd. in Cowflop "Hello to all you PD warriors, this is Chris Kinesia at half past the hour on What's Shaking?, a safe place to talk about PD, The board is lit up so let's take another call. We have Jessica on line two...hello Jessica...what's shaking? "I have a question, forgive me, I'm nervous. I'm a woman in her late 30s. I met a great man who unfortunately has PD (I've heard him mention Stage 3 but I don't know what that means). My problem is that I want one of us to initiate the next step in our relationship. I want to know how to respect his situation but I have needs and desires. Does PD affect a person sexually? "Oh, Jessica, yes. Just like the PD mask hides smiles or frowns, there are sexual feelings that simmer just below the surface. But the medicines which were your friend eventually become your enemy. Tremoring in public is pretty non-eventful to watch, but dyskinesia can become a public freak show. Sinemet makes some people feel very sexual while an antidepressant like Paxil may kill sexual feelings in others. What if you take both of these?...I did for many years. It may be difficult to talk to him about this but you gotta try. He may just want to hold hands or trade foot massages with you and this has to be okay with you. He can probably not do anything "on demand" so take it nice and slow. Jessica, PD is a tough disease and his self-esteem can use your support as a friend and a lover". "On line one is Curtis....hello, Curtis....what's shaking?" "Hi, Mr. Kinesia....I don't have PD...my Mom does" "How old are you, Curtis?" "Eleven" "Tell me what's going on in your life...." "Mom's right hand has been shaking for as long as I can remember. Last year, she set me down and told me she had Parkinson's disease and said that we'd learn more about it together, but she didn't ever talk to me about it again. I looked it up and found a bunch of stuff like there's no cure and they don't know how it starts or how to stop it. It sounded like you get worse and worse till you die. Is my Mom gonna die soon...is she gonna tell me? Can my Mom give me Parkinson's? How do I know for sure?" "Curtis, science hasn't been able to find a PD-connection between family members. As far as your mother's life expectancy, a lot depends on her diet and attitude. Think positive and ask your Mom to sit down with you like she said she would. Then she can tell you what she knows about PD." "Thank you, Curtis, for calling in and sharing ...and keep listening!.......let's see, we have Virginia from Pig Choke on the line....what's shaking, Virginia?" "Hi Chris....my whole family listens to your show. My younger brother, Paul, who endured PD for twelve years died yesterday unexpectedly (chokes up). "I'm sorry to hear that, Virginia, was it complications with his PD?" "No, Chris, he was hit by a bus (sound of rim shot fills the studio as Chris signals frantically to the Sound Engineer to kill the sound effects).....what I wanted to know was why did my prayers to Santa for a cure go unheard? .....does he really exist?" "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (brief struggle in the studio between Chris and the Sound Engineer to control the "rim shot button"). Santa exists in the hearts and souls of children all over Tasmar County where he watches over you and listens to your wishes and prayers". "We'll take a pause for a commercial break" "Introducing....MONOTONY Monotony - a board game where you live as someone with PD. You proceed around the board gathering properties and picking up HMO bonus points while trying to avoid the Nursing Home and the Bone Yard. The winner is the first person to make it around the board with his/her medical coverage still intact. Action Cards - * wake-up * mumble * shuffle * nap * watch paint dry Properties Cards - * hairbrush * meds * false teeth * enema bag Player pieces - * wheelchair * toilet * cane * walker Order your MONOTONY game today at any Parkinson's Brothers dealer. "If you're just tuning in, you're listening to "What's Shaking?" at KDBS, the public voice of PD in Tasmar County. I'm your host, Chris Kinesia and I'll be taking you up to the top of the hour with everything PD" "We've got Clark from Skillet Lick on line three.....what's shaking, Clark? "My grandfather has PD and lives here at home. He can't dress or feed himself (Dad does this for him). He had brain surgery and had these things implanted in his chest....I think it was some kind of pacemaker. I discovered by accident that when I use "the clapper" near his bedroom , his things shut off...." "Ladies and gentleman, I know Carl and his grandfather and we're sending someone over there immediately ...let's go to Dirk on line four ......hello, Dirk, what's shaking?" "Hi Chris.....another night of great calls....I'm hoping you can help me too". "I'm 17 and a safe driver. Mom is 47 and got diagnosed with PD five years ago and is not a good driver. She hasn't been in an accident but she's had many close calls. My Dad travels internationally and is unavailable to help me make a decision on what to do so I'm calling you" "Well, Dirk, one of the hardest aspects of PD is giving up something you've done all your life. If your Mom can't understand why anyone would want to curtail her driving, the best thing to do is to contact her neurologist and explain your concerns. Their signature alone on DMV paperwork is enough to solve your situation. Let us know how things work out". "All right, we've got time left for one more caller....let's take Beth on line two, what's shaking, Beth?" "Hi Chris.....I'm 37 and I was diagnosed with PD a week ago. I can read facts about the disease but what does full-blown Parkinson's feel like?" "When my meds aren't working just yet, my whole body aches and feels heavy. I can't find my balance and my brain feels like cotton candy. As I look out of my heavy eyes through a wall of jello at people staring at me, I think things like; - Don't stare at me...I'm just switched off - Are you looking at me? (my inner-voice starts doing De Niro) - Behind this mask, I'm shooting you dirty looks - Want to step outside?....and lock the door behind you? When the meds kick in, I develop PD side-effects that causes erratic movement in my limbs and facial grimacing. When I see people staring, I think things like: - Pay no attention to the man in the wheelchair - I hate this disease - Go on folks....keep moving.....nothing to see here - I REALLY hate this disease "There are times of sadness as you give up your driving, helping around the house and yard. There will be endless opportunities to feel sorry for yourself (pity parties), as well as time to take charge and plow ahead no matter what life throws at you (Whoa, this soapbox is sure rickety)". "Beth, I hope your PD progresses slowly and that all your meds treat you well along the way." "I want to thank everyone who contributed by sharing their PD life with us tonight. I hope my journey of fifteen years gives you a friend that can help you learn to live with PD. I want to thank KDBS for providing a place to broadcast PD-information shows like "What's Shaking?" here in Tasmar County. I want to thank our sponsors this last hour: HAPPY CATH-Y, TREMOR HOUSE PRODUCTS, and MONOTONY". "I've been your host, Chris Kinesia..... goodnight"