Gone Before You Know It

7/25/97

"Gone Before You Know It"

As a kid, he felt it was his duty to explore the boundaries of what constituted "right and wrong". He had stolen change from his parents' nightstand, had kicked a neighbor's dog when no one was around "just to see what happened", and most recently had broken a corner of a large stained glass window in the church they attended.

Church....his parents made him attend each Sunday "rain or shine". The sermons bored him and the people, dressed in uncomfortable clothes, confused him. "If religion is so great" he thought "why do you need to wear dresses or suits and ties to do it properly?". His soul, though he didn't realize it, was in need of an overhaul. He was only 15 but his actions were apparently often those of someone much younger.

His parents treated him well in trying to steer him towards a more acceptable way of living life. He rebelled against his parents, as teenagers are prone to do, without understanding that he could also put an end to the almost daily confrontations.

Sunday morning came too fast. The stained glass window had not been fixed and though the temporary repair job looked odd, not a word was issued during the sermon about the previous week's damage. He had told no one and felt that he had gotten away with it. His parents told him, that God saw everyone's actions and would judge them one day on those actions. He found this concept unsettling since "he couldn't see this God but yet God could see him"; that didn't seem fair.

It was Communion Sunday and the man standing at the end of the aisle indicated it was their turn to walk to the front of the church to take communion. His parents stood and began walking to the front; he followed them mumbling words of disgust and annoyance at having to take part in this again. As he kneeled at the railing, something changed inside him. He was at a loss to explain this new feeling. He suddenly felt that life was a culmination of all that he chose to put into it. It was very odd, this change of emotions, and he struggled to keep from crying. Life seemed like it was almost over but that couldn't be...he was only 15..... and as the priest placed the communion wafer on his tongue, he heard the priest saying "in the name of the Father.....".

"Dad, wake up" his oldest son said to him, "it's time for your medicine". As his son placed the yellow tablet on his tongue, the old man stirred from his sleep. He wanted to tell his son that "he still felt young and foolish" and that he "realized how important life was". But his Parkinson's Disease was too far advanced and all the man could do was make some barely audible groaning sounds. The son turned away so his Dad wouldn't see his tears and quickly tried to pull himself together.

After wiping the spilled water from the old man's chin, he got up to leave. As he passed the calendar on the wall, he hesitated and turned to face the emaciated figure lying on the bed. In a voice brimming with tears, he said "Happy Father's Day, Dad" and left the room so the old man's tortured sobs wouldn't continue to haunt his nights.



		7/25/97 "Gone Before You Know It" As a kid, he felt it was his duty to explore the boundaries of what constituted "right and wrong". He had stolen change from his parents' nightstand, had kicked a neighbor's dog when no one was around "just to see what happened", and most recently had broken a corner of a large stained glass window in the church they attended. Church....his parents made him attend each Sunday "rain or shine". The sermons bored him and the people, dressed in uncomfortable clothes, confused him. "If religion is so great" he thought "why do you need to wear dresses or suits and ties to do it properly?". His soul, though he didn't realize it, was in need of an overhaul. He was only 15 but his actions were apparently often those of someone much younger. His parents treated him well in trying to steer him towards a more acceptable way of living life. He rebelled against his parents, as teenagers are prone to do, without understanding that he could also put an end to the almost daily confrontations. Sunday morning came too fast. The stained glass window had not been fixed and though the temporary repair job looked odd, not a word was issued during the sermon about the previous week's damage. He had told no one and felt that he had gotten away with it. His parents told him, that God saw everyone's actions and would judge them one day on those actions. He found this concept unsettling since "he couldn't see this God but yet God could see him"; that didn't seem fair. It was Communion Sunday and the man standing at the end of the aisle indicated it was their turn to walk to the front of the church to take communion. His parents stood and began walking to the front; he followed them mumbling words of disgust and annoyance at having to take part in this again. As he kneeled at the railing, something changed inside him. He was at a loss to explain this new feeling. He suddenly felt that life was a culmination of all that he chose to put into it. It was very odd, this change of emotions, and he struggled to keep from crying. Life seemed like it was almost over but that couldn't be...he was only 15..... and as the priest placed the communion wafer on his tongue, he heard the priest saying "in the name of the Father.....". "Dad, wake up" his oldest son said to him, "it's time for your medicine". As his son placed the yellow tablet on his tongue, the old man stirred from his sleep. He wanted to tell his son that "he still felt young and foolish" and that he "realized how important life was". But his Parkinson's Disease was too far advanced and all the man could do was make some barely audible groaning sounds. The son turned away so his Dad wouldn't see his tears and quickly tried to pull himself together. After wiping the spilled water from the old man's chin, he got up to leave. As he passed the calendar on the wall, he hesitated and turned to face the emaciated figure lying on the bed. In a voice brimming with tears, he said "Happy Father's Day, Dad" and left the room so the old man's tortured sobs wouldn't continue to haunt his nights.