Strata Lucida

How to destroy the Earth

With apologies to Marcus over at Collision Course, I'd like to point out this extremely useful guide to destroying the Earth. The page offers dozens of methods of destroying our planet, from negating its existence via time travel, to shaking it to pieces at the planetary resonant frequency (or frequencies), to annihilating it with antimatter. The last method requires a "mere" 12 kg of antimatter, but, as one commenter on the page says, "I still think that antimatter is crazy s**t, i.e. wouldn't want it on my flapjacks." The page even has career advice to the aspiring Earth-destroyer.

Of all the methods suggested, I am most intrigued by Total Existence Failure, with its vaguely existentialist implementation of planetary suicide:

You will need: nothing

Method: No method. Simply sit back and twiddle your thumbs as, completely by chance, all 2*10⁴⁹ atoms making up the planet Earth suddenly, simultaneously and spontaneously cease to exist.

Note: the odds against this actually ever occuring are considerably greater than a googolplex (10¹⁰¹⁰⁰) to one.

Failing this, some kind of arcane (read: scientifically laughable) probability-manipulation device may be employed.