The Hidden Power of The Four Agreements
The Weekly Word ~ August, 2007
It has been ten years since Miguel Ruiz, author and Toltec Nagual,
released his famous book, The Four Agreements™ -
A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. Oprah has raved about
it, movie stars quote it, and it is read in 32 languages around the
world-- and yet many people miss some of the profound depths of this
teaching.
Miguel Ruiz begins The Four Agreements by describing how
each of us has been "domesticated" by our parents, relatives,
siblings, teachers, church leaders, and others. We were expected to
agree with their beliefs and agreements about good and bad, and right
and wrong - and we did. We had no choice. It was "their way or
the highway."
We agreed never to take the last cookie, to always put other people's
feelings ahead of ours, to follow the rules, and not talk back. We
agreed to stay inside the lines, not be too happy, and always be nice.
Following their rules helped us fit in and get our needs met.
Following their rules also had a price: We were required to abandon
our truth and the freedom to express ourselves freely. We stopped
looking inside for our direction, and learned to look outside to know
what "they" wanted us to think and feel. This was a big
price to pay for safety and belonging. We had no choice.
The Four Agreements have the power to break thousands of the limiting
agreements that you made during your domestication, and set you free
to be yourself. They are a wonderful gift. Unfortunately, many people
misunderstand the deeper meaning of the agreements, or deny their
power by imagining they are like some other philosophy or teaching.
Let's take a brief look at each agreement here, and make sure you
are using them as the powerful tools they are.
Agreement #1: Always be impeccable with your word.
Miguel Ruiz clearly explains that to be impeccable means to be "without
sin," and he defines sin as "going against yourself."
Therefore, to be impeccable with your word is to not use your word
against yourself. Many people seem to miss this definition, and believe
the agreement means they should always tell the truth, keep their
commitments, and not cheat.
How do we use your word against yourself? The most common way is
to judge yourself. Can you imagine living without ever judging yourself
for anything you say, feel, want, or do? Imagine your freedom to take
action, to create, and to love with your heart wide open. Keeping
this one agreement is all you need to go all the way to personal freedom.
The other three agreements are given to us as support for the first.
Agreement #2: Don't take anything personally. The
danger here is using this agreement as an attitude, rather than a
ticket to freedom. The Toltec wisdom teaches that we are all distorting
reality based on our unique beliefs and agreements. If someone is
dreaming you they are not seeing the real you, so anything they say
to you is a description of their dream of you, and truly has nothing
to do with you. The universe is not personal, and actually doesn’t
care about you. Be yourself.
#3: Don’t make assumptions. What a powerful
invitation! Stay in the moment. Don't second-guess life. Don't assume
you know what someone needs or is thinking. If you want to know, ask.
This agreement will break all those lies that it is bad to ask questions
because you might embarrass or hurt someone, and you should know what
other people are thinking and meet their needs before they have to
ask. Many people think this is a minor agreement, but don't be fooled.
Big power resides here. Stay in the juice of Life in this moment--
after all, that is the only place Life is happening!
#4: Always do your best. This agreement is often
misunderstood to mean you should try harder, do more, and be better.
Nothing could be farther from the intention of the agreement. Every
choice you make is based on your programming, your previous experiences,
and the information available-- and every choice is the best you can
make in the moment. If you find out ten minutes or ten years later
that you have other options, use them, act, change, and grow.
This agreement will break your belief in all the lies your inner
and outer judges tell you about your failures, what you should have
known or done better, and the grim prospects for your future. Without
the voice of your inner judge you are free to be you. What a beautiful
thing to behold.
Yours IN love and The New Dream of Peace Within and Without.