BEWARE: THE SCENT-SNIFFERS WILL GET YOU IF YOU DON'T WATCH OUT
Adangerous category of non-conform-ists--"feel-gooders" who insist on smoking, injecting, and drinking certain verboten substances so as to feel good--actually, arrogantly, claim they have a right to do what they want to do with their own bodies! Fortunately, the urine-testing programs, now extended to the high schools, will detect and punish such outlaw actions, and the courts have extended the police force's right to search inside suspicious folk's bodies. Blood can now be drawn, legally, to test for alcohol over a suspect's objections.
Certainly, travelers at ports of entry are being "detained" until their feces are properly collected, searched, analyzed, and declared lawful. (A few years ago laxatives were administered to speed up the process, but now a few days in a "dry cell" will accomplish the same results.) Of course, here in Allenwood, one of our country's more high-tech federal prisons, the miscreants are routinely subjected to urine tests as well as breathalyzer tests. Feel-goodism from chemicals not authorized by the FDA's police shall not flourish herein!
However, merely monitoring and punishing prisoners is not enough. Some people--misguided or gullible dupes--actually visit these convicts! Unfortunately, given the lamentable, liberal mores permeating our once great nation, prison officials must admit them, so something had to be done to curtail visitation. Not to worry, good law-abiding, respectable citizens, our scientists have developed new technologies, at a cost of only a few million, to intensify the war on crime. No, I don't mean the automated fingerprint machines. That's old hat. I mean the new SSS gadget (Super Scent Sniffer).
This sniffer machine is passed over the skin or clothes of visitors, with a goodly number of them then denied admittance based upon the odor of narcotics on their skin or clothing. One child was also denied admittance. Some even have the temerity to object to this procedure. While they may claim they got the aroma from handling paper money--much of it has traces of cocaine on it--quite likely, they were/are active narcotics users, drug dealers, or even narco-terrorists attempting to further their criminal enterprises. As for the child, we're all aware of their frequent schoolyard "shoot-em-ups."
Therefore, good loyal citizens, with this latest breach in the security dike plugged up, along with monitoring potential deviant thought processes, with the urine, feces, and breath tests, you can sleep more soundly tonight knowing that our ever vigilant police have enacted another tool to protect our constitutional rights.