AN ANNOTATED THERMOMETER (degrees Fahrenheit) +50 ~ New York tenants turn on the heat ~ Minnesotans plant gardens +40 ~ Californians shiver uncontrollably ~ Minnesotans sunbathe +35 ~ Italian cars don't start +32 ~ Distilled water freezes +30 ~ You can see your breath ~ You plan a vacation to Florida ~ Politicians begin to worry about the homeless ~ Minnesotans eat ice cream +25 ~ Boston water freezes ~ Californians weep pitiably ~ Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you +20 ~ Cleveland water freezes ~ San Franciscans start thinking favorably of LA ~ Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts ~ Moustache hairs start to freeze +15 ~ You plan a vacation in CANCUN!!!!! ~ Minnesotans go swimming +10 ~ Too cold to snow ~ You need jumper cables to get the car going ~ Nose hairs begin to freeze 0 ~ New York landlords turn on the heat ~ Beards begin to freeze -5 ~ You can hear your breath ~ You plan a vacation to Hawaii -10 ~ American cars don't start ~ Too cold to skate -15 ~ You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo ~ Miamians cease to exist ~ Minnesotans lick flagpoles -20 ~ Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you ~ People in LaCrosse think about taking down screens -25 ~ Too cold to kiss ~ You need jumper cables to get the driver going ~ Japanese cars don't start ~ Minnesota Twins head for spring training -30 ~ You plan a two-week hot bath ~ Minnesotans shovel snow off roof -38 ~ Mercury freezes ~ Too cold to think ~ Minnesotans button top button -40 ~ Californians disappear ~ Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you ~ Minnesotans put on sweaters -50 ~ Congressional hot air freezes ~ Alaskans close the bathroom window ~ Green Bay Packers practice indoors -60 ~ Walruses abandon Aleutians ~ Minnesotans put gloves away, take out mittens ~ Boy Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby -70 ~ Minneapolis residents replace diving boards with hockey ~ nets ~ Ridgeway snowmobilers organize trans-river race to Buffalo, WI -80 ~ Polar bears abandon Baffin Island ~ Girl Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby -90 ~ Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles ~ Wisconsinites migrate to Minnesota thinking it MUST be warmer -100 ~ Santa Claus abandons North Pole ~ Minnesotans pull down earflaps -173 ~ Ethyl alcohol freezes -445 ~ Superconductivity -452 ~ Helium becomes a liquid -454 ~ Hell freezes over -456 ~ Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90 -458 ~ Incumbent politician renounces a campaign contribution -460 (Absolute Zero) ~ All atomic motion ceases ~ Minnesotans agree as to how it's getting a "mite nippy" From: Michelle