Title: A New Atomic Element: Woman

Subject: Hazardous Material Alert

Element:  Woman
Symbol:    WO
Discovered by:    Adam
Mass:        53.6 kilograms (but may vary between 40 and 200 kilograms) 
Occurrence:  Ubiquitous

Physical properties:
	1.  Found in states ranging from virgin metal to common ore
	2.  Surface area commonly covered with a film of coal tar derivatives
	3.  Freezes unpredictably at any temperature
	4.  Melts if given special treatment
	5.  Bitter if mishandled
	6.  Yields to pressure artfully applied

Chemical properties:
	1.  Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man
	2.  Great affinity for gold, silver and the full range of precious stones
	3.  May explode spontaneously without warning and for no apparent reason
	4.  Insoluble in water, however alcohol greatly increases malleability
	
Common uses:
	1.  Highly ornamental
	2.  Remarkably effective aid to relaxation
	3.  Very powerful cleaning agent

Tests:
	1.  Pure specimen turns pink when found in natural state
	2.  Turns green when placed beside a better specimen

Potential hazards:
	1.   Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
	2.  Illegal to possess more than one (however several can be maintained at
       different locations so long as each specimen is kept from direct contact
       with all the others)

From: Ray