"When the Great Fenne or Moore (which washeth the walles of the citie on the north side) is frozen, many young men play upon the yce . . . Some tye bones to their feete, and under their heeles, and shoving themselves by a little picked staffe, doe slide as swiftlie as a birdie flyeth in the aire, or an arrow out of a crosse-bow."

Something remarkable is happening. A very old, somewhat prim sport has erupted into being the People's rock, opera, ballet, and vaudeville, all in one.

You may have noticed that virtually every Sunday where forever there was NFL Football on CBS, now runs a two hour pro-skating "Competition:" The Vagiset I Pink Pro Challenge Etc. When Fox outbid CBS for Football viewing rights it opened the flood gate for skating. From eight TV hours per year skating is on more than 80 now. So wuzzup?

November 27, 1662: At my waking, I found the tops of houses covered with snow, which is a very rare sight, that I have not seen these three years . . .

November 30, 1662: It is a bitter cold frost today . . .

December 1, 1662: Thence I to my Lord Sandwich's . . . to talk a little about business; and then over to the Parke (where I first in my life, it being great frost, did see people sliding with their skeats, which is a very pretty art) . . .

December 12: From a very hard frost, when I awoke, I find a very great thaw, and my house overflown with it, which vexed me.

December 12, 1662: Up and to my Lord's and thence to the the Duke and followed him into the Park, where, though ice was broken and dangerous, yet he would go slide upon his scates, which I did not like but he slides very well.

It's hardly surprising that Figure Skating should have evolved into a thrilling blend of the most extreme acrobatics with a ballatic depth of kinetic emotion. Organized skating has been around a very long time.

The first skating in Scotland appeared in 1742 -- in America, 1849. The kind of skating done was formal and stiff. Both sexes were heavily bundled up, and nothing but the precise execution of complicated figures was encouraged.

In 1863 Jackson Haines won the U.S. championship. He invented a much more artistic free style - jumping, twirling, and using his arms expressively instead of letting them hang limp. He hired full orchestras and danced to Strauss Waltzes - a far cry from the naked hiss of scraping blades. Americans seemed to find him too "showy" (effete?) but the new style caught on wildly in Europe, and modern Figure Skating was born. (And maybe the first of many Gay champions to come).

Things kind of bumbled along over the years that followed. Individuals kept devising increasingly difficult and complex moves: Salchow, Lutz, Axel, etc. It was still an elite, St. Moritz type sport through to the 20's.

The real breakthrough came when blonde Norwegian bombshell Sonja Henie burst on the scene - world champion from 1927 to 1937.

By radically shortening her skirts she could execute deep sit-spins and the more daring jumps previously reserved for men only. Hundred of thousands of young Americans bought skates, dazzled by the glamorous MGM type skate-extravaganza movies she delivered for years. Skating became much more of a people's sport: Henie's beaming mug was to be found everywhere.

Gradually, the technical demands for medalist skaters became almost superhuman . . . stop reading this now and get up! (Please).

Move to a clear space and try to jump one complete revolution in the air. (Andy Kaufman says: "You takaloadoff tooshie on zeet now. Tank u berry munch."

The top skaters have to complete three to three-and-a-half turns at least nine times in four minutes absolutely flawlessly.* One tiny bobble and kiss the gold goodbye. Not to mention the Supersonic Tasmanian Devil spins, eye-blurring, Flamenco quick footwork - ah yes, and don't forget artistic expression is worth half of the total score.

Thanks largely to Dick Button, 1948 Gold winner, the American skating style has stressed pure athleticism. He spun faster, jumped higher (landing the first triple axel), and moved faster than Speedy Gonzales himself - fastest mouse in Mexico.*)

This set of priorities won many prizes for American skaters until 1964, when the first big change began: The Protopopos got the gold, and Russian pair dancers have dominated But more importantly, figure skating met ballet. The "P"s were the first to cohesively utilize ballet techniques, and it went over big with judges. More and more Americans followed suit.

Actually, the Russian style dates back to the 1890's when extravagant ice festivals were an upper-class diversion. (Those interminable winters!) The aristocratic skaters were choreographed by famous ballet masters from the Kirov and Bolshoi.

And so, what could have stayed a rather clunky duckling metamorphosized into a liquid swan. The expressive flow of arms, wrists, and fingers, the classical lines of leg extension, the characteristically arched back, the intensity of facial expressions -- these are all Russian Ballet's legacy.

I guess the wider sports public has finally come to appreciate the uniqueness of skating's hybrid of competitive sport and art. Classical ballet can seem a tad fusty and undaring after watching a major skating tournament. No dancer can remotely leap as high, revolve in the air, spin or travel as fast as a skater. But then, on the other hand, ballet artists never fall on their butts. (tick tick BANG, the skaters call it.)

To be honest, that is part of the fascination of the sport. Even the very best performers are guaranteed to take a really juicing pratfall with some degree of regularity. The tension of waiting for the inevitable provides a sort of guilty-thrill aspect. Pure unmitigated schadenfreude.

A little aside is in order about another aspect of the skating boom: the music. While far too many skaters rely on the lowest-common-denominator stuff: the gooiest, ghastliest, kitchiest, soft-rock ballads and film scores, some now skate to modern, jazzy, techno sounds - and to classical music.

Literally millions who otherwise never hear opera now have been exposed to Strauss's "Salome" because Michelle Kwan skated to it. Classical CD sales (absolutely deplorable presently) certainly will be bolstered thanks to skater's increasingly higher artistic standards. What a bonus - a generation under 75 will regularly get turned on to the good stuff.

What is crucial now is the emergence of an obvious original choreographic genius: A Balanchine of the ice. Mark Morris could do it - if only he could be persuaded that skating is a new, vibrant art form waiting to emerge, instead of a mere competitive sport.

There's a TV special based on Holst's "The Planets" that demonstrates the incredible potential of using structured groups of skaters rather than always just one or two. There must be new jumps, lifts, positions, patterns - skating will become stagnant without them.

The biggest danger facing skating today is rampaging overexposure. With two hours to fill weekly the same stars get trotted out over and over again.

And they do the exact same routines we've already seen at the major "competitions" This week, the "Preparation H All-Gold Classic."They're wearing exactly the same outfits too. If I have to see a certain superannuated, velvet-horse-rumped, Schwarzennegar-faced (horrid horrid) German emote her turgid tribute to the Tragic Victims Of Bhuti-stan one more time . . .

The root of the problem is that skaters usually work all season to perfect one or two programs for the biggies. If there is going to be so much more TV exposure skaters must absolutely become as quick studies as dancers are expected to be. There really aren't that many standard elements (Jumps, spins, etc.). It's more a thing about custom and attitude than ability.

Also, if that bogus grading system was discarded for all but the most serious tournaments interesting skaters who aren't necessarily technically perfect could be enjoyed for their diversity. Let's get some new blood, goddamit.

Two of the hottest upcoming faces: 19-year-old Elie Kulik, who combines deep musicality with the explosive panther-like quality of young Rudolf Nureyev, and Mikhail Baryshnikov's unique ability to effortlessly hang forever in the air - giving him the most scintillating pin-wheeling triple jumps ever seem. Unfortunately, he's been having a bad year and has a reputation for laziness in training.

Among the women: impish, effervescent Tara Lipinski, a champion at 13, will no doubt become a new Janet Lynn - most revered and legendary of all female skaters. (On March 22 she became the youngest person to win the World Championship.)

I was going to innocently wonder why there has never been a single male Afro-American medalist, and only two women (now retired Debby Thomas and fascinating Surya Bonaly). And why only plucky Rudy Galindo has come out of such an obvious Flaming-pink-neon-arrows-going-dit-dit-dit-hear-he-is-get-over-it-Mary closet, but . . . whatever.

"To feel yourself carried along with the speed of an arrow and the graceful undulations in the air, on a smooth, shining, resonant and treacherous surface: by a simple balancing of the body and by using only your will as a rudder, to give yourself all the curves and changes of direction of a ship at sea or of an eagle soaring in the blue sky; for me this was such an intoxication of the senses and such a voluptuous dizziness of thought that I cannot recall it without emotion. Even horses, that I have loved so much, do not give to the rider the delirium that the ice gives to the skater."

*Elvis Stoyko landed the first quad in world championship history on March 20, 1997).

*There were two great American outsiders at the time: Toller Cranston and John Curry. They were incredibly innovative, artistic, brilliant, charismatic and Gay. They met with huge resistance from the skating establishment. Paul Wylie carries on their tradition of trail-blazing.