"At least one hundred years ago, the Master Of All Reality took a shit and thus the universe was born. But that was not enough. He has to wipe and what better way to wipe then with war. So he created the Scumdogs of the universe, and ultra elite group of warriors especially culled from the lowest dregs of filth ... chaotic and disease-ridden beings who would come to be known as GWAR!"
Gwar were later frozen in Antarctica for millions of years for the crimes of sinking Atlantis and having sex with apes (thus creating the human race) but were later thawed out by a hole in the ozone layer. They were intercepted by manager Sleazy P. Martini who gave them tons of crack and transformed them into an exploitational rock band. At live performances, Gwar leaves the audience dripping with blood and howling in agony (as this journalist can testify from seeing a recent show). Their S&M dominatrix fire-breathing female agent of evil, Slymentra Hymen, wrestled a mutated OJ Simpson, busting heads, cutting off breasts, and anything else that would immerse the audience in Satanic alien blood.
Audience members were either beaten down by the volume of the oppressive music and brutality of the slam pit or suffered brain shut-down , due to sensory overload of the overt gore fest. As Sleazy P. Martini said, "We're going to give you what you want for your burger flipping dollars!" And the low-brow Beavis & Butthead type audience ate it up.
In reality, Gwar has a serious message , as Oderous Urungus (aka Dave Brockie) told the Easterner of E.W.U: "You either get it or you don't with GWAR ... it's satire. We have a different idea entirely about what's obscene. To us it's far from obscene to don a rubber penis and shoot fake cum into the crowd, in fact, we think that's hilarious. To me it's obscene - the education system in this country is obscene, to beat people in the street, for the police to basically be a hired mercenary for the elite government. The way this whole country's run is obscene."
Goblin Magazine: Do you look at yourselves as the Mighty Morphine Power Rangers of punk?
Oderous Urungus: Yes, I'd say that was an accurate comparison. I don't watch much TV but we definitely take after them like we do all cartoonish TV creatures. However, our main influence is Bay Watch. We copy everything they do on that show and do our best to betray that image.
GM: Do you look at Gwar as educators like the Mime Troop?
UR: Yes, we are definitely movers and shakers of the earth's consciousness. We twist the minds of mere earthlings this way and that as we please. Manipulating their thoughts with our phallic mind probes to do evil or good, mostly baby killing, mother raping evil. But it all depends on our mood and temper.
GM: Are you performance revolutionaries?
UR: Yes, as in we're the next logical progression in an old tradition dating back to the 16th century. We're the medieval knights of rock. Like the Commedia Del Arte hundreds of years ago would have a stumbling pharmacist with a vial of urine in his hand, continuously trip and spill it over the audience. It's a sure fire way to keep the audience going. We're in the tradition of that, dating back to Dada, Kiss, and even to the Sex Pistols. Punk rockers may say they're not wearing a costume but they're displaying an offensive image, With our strong roots in punk rock we are displaying that image a thousand fold and combining it with everything else that's been done.
GM: Do you think that by being on Beavis and Butt-Head and becoming successful you are in danger of losing your authenticity?
VM: No, like I said we've always been based in punk rock and we've actually gotten worse over the years. It's not a question of us watering down our music as it is the industry rising to us. I think it's great that we're on Beavis and Butthead, because it's showing that our message is really getting out there. Like kids are starting to eat maggot candy and cow bloodletting is right next to the slushy machine at 7 eleven, Our poisonous seeds have been planted in society and they are now about to sprout.
For more bone-crushing fun contact THE GWAR WEBSITE