Kid Konnection Article
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ATTENTION: EDITOR
The following is my submission for the Kid Konnection paper.
Please let me know if changes are desired and I will try to fill
your needs. A disk with the file in MW format is enclosed. Thank
you for requesting the submission.
Proposed title: "Summer Camps Expand Safety Horizon for Children"
Publishing date: April 1995
Written by: John Palmerlee
Occupation: Children's Camp Director, Far View Ranch Camp
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Directing a children's summer camp has made it possible to hear
many parent's perspectives on the joys and struggles of raising
children, but the presence of two precious children of my own
transforms their issues into living color and I find myself truly
understanding them for the first time.
From what I've heard and felt, few concerns parents face are as
powerful as ensuring the safety of their children. Will injury
or sickness take or adversely effect my child's life? Will s/he
be hurt or taken by a stranger if I let my vigilance lapse?
I remember shopping at the mall during the Christmas frenzy with
my three year old daughter Ellen, her little hand pulling me
between stores and escalator rides. I was so preoccupied with her
safety that my heart jumped between various possible "what if's"
and my eyes forged ahead to avoid those embarrassing collisions
that frequent the mix of mall and child. During the rare moments
when my guard was down, I thought about how to make it more
relaxing - this was supposed to be fun, after all. Several
fantasies came to mind, but one stuck, and even though I didn't
want to act it out, I found it instructive.
Sometimes I see other parents acting out the fantasy. Doggie
leash in one hand and a bag in the other, their child is always in
harness and just a tug away. I remembered this image and let
myself dream. Ellen at the end of a leash, double straps around
her middle jerking my hand, but no real contact. Hmm, is this
what I want on an outing with my child? Has the fear of loosing
her taken over the fun of being with her? Even without the leash
I'm mostly just a body guard sans training. In retrospect I feel
embarrassed characterizing our trips to the mall as "time
together."
Yet the mall scene is analogous to a problem we parents face every
day of our lives. Whenever children are away from our care, we
relinquish some control - allowing random influences to teach them
about life in our changing world. Thankfully so, to a point,
since they soon will have to live in it. But as parents we fear
the dark side of this influence, which to an increasing degree is
focusing to form gangs, promote the use of drugs, and to encourage
the use of weapons as a means for solving problems.
Fortunately our society provides primary education for most
families who seek it. Within the school system there is a
structure which tends to diffuse random influences and offers many
children a relatively safe haven in which they can broaden their
horizons. But schools are not given enough support to fully cope
with this challenge. With little outdoor space and student to
staff ratios of typically 20:1 or higher, individual work with
children can be constricted and diluted. Teachers may respond by
choosing a curriculum honoring safety and efficiency over freedom
and effectiveness. But, even so, the rote part of education is
done. We can know that a concerted effort has been made to
present the needed information - a job deserving our appreciation.
But much is missing. Where can our children go to lie under a
tree and let their minds filter through all the information,
without wondering if someone is lurking in the shadows? When do
they get the chance to relate to friends without their guard up
and locked, waiting for the familiar jab or insult that outlines
many conversations with buddies at school? How can we give them
the freedom to explore their decision making powers in a safe
environment away from home?
Parents of children that attend our summer camp usually ask
questions about safety before deciding to let them go for the
summer. What precautions do you take to prevent accidents? How
old are your counselors, and are the children always under
supervision? Will my child's need for privacy be respected? What
happens if my child gets homesick? How do you handle discipline
at camp?
These practical concerns must be settled before parents can
explore the full benefits of the safety net provided at camp.
Once settled, however, a parent begins to think in broader terms:
If it is safe at camp, then my child could try things s/he
wouldn't even consider at home. Some typical situations that
characterize the unique decisions I have seen children make at
camp are as follows: while scooping up horse manure in the
corral, a 14 year old girl and an 8 year old boy feel free to
laugh uncontrollably together; a shy girl risks playing a short
piece on the piano for talent night and even though she makes many
mistakes, finds everyone smiling and clapping for her when she is
finished; a boy who is petrified of large animals spends an hour
with instructor and horse that ends with a ride back to the corral
and an ear to ear grin.
When looking for a camp give yourself ample time to make it an
adventure. Camp administrators are friendly and willing to talk
at length about their program. Ask to talk with parents who have
sent their children there so you can compare what the
administrator says with the story from an actual camper. Take
advantage of slide shows or videos offered so both you and your
children can get a feel for the camp program and philosophy.
Check out the safety aspects of the camp, but don't forget to look
beyond them for a philosophy that you think will encourage your
child to risk trying experiences beyond where s/he is currently
capable. Also, if your child participates in the decision, s/he
will enter camp feeling empowered by the act of choosing.
Remember, it's when the child feels safe that the magic happens at
camp.
After the decision is made and your child is away at camp, you may
interpret homesickness from the first letters home. The open
space, new people, and rich programs presented can be a shock to
first timers, and it takes a few days to adjust. But a camp that
is prepared for this will have programs woven into its daily
schedule designed to help children build confidence and self
respect, so that they can sink their teeth into the experience
well before it's over. With camper to staff ratios running around
4:1, individual attention can be given to campers on a regular
basis adding a sense of safety to the process.
When children perceive camp to be safe, their decision making
process changes to include a wider range of choices. As a result,
the child is able to discover more of the natural limitations
inherent to a particular activity, which offer lessons devised by
the world around us, instead of from logical limitations devised
by people. In this broader, safer world, children experience
fundamentals that become powerful tools in non camp-related
situations once they return home. Children leave camp with a
better understanding of how life works because they were allowed
to experience it in a safe environment.
Prepare yourself for some surprises once the time at camp is over.
Your child may cry about leaving camp, sing fun camp songs
(endlessly!), and say special things like "it's cool to care
here." Many parents mention that their children speak highly of
themselves after camp - "I'm great at horsemanship, drama,
swimming, and making friends." All of this stems from the fact
that camps offer an expanded horizon to children in an environment
designed to be safe and fun. Although every camp's program and
philosophy are different, I firmly believe that if you put your
heads and hearts into it, the camp you and your child choose will
be the right one for you.
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