Kid Konnection Article

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ATTENTION: EDITOR

The following is my submission for the Kid Konnection paper.
Please let me know if changes are desired and I will try to fill 
your needs.  A disk with the file in MW format is enclosed.  Thank 
you for requesting the submission.

Proposed title: "Summer Camps Expand Safety Horizon for Children" 

Publishing date: April 1995
Written by: John Palmerlee
Occupation: Children's Camp Director, Far View Ranch Camp

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Directing a children's summer camp has made it possible to hear 
many parent's perspectives on the joys and struggles of raising 
children,  but the presence of two precious children of my own 
transforms their issues into living color and I find myself truly 
understanding them for the first time.

From what I've heard and felt, few concerns parents face are as 
powerful as ensuring the safety of their children.  Will injury 
or sickness take or adversely effect my child's life?  Will s/he 
be hurt or taken by a stranger if I let my vigilance lapse?
 
I remember shopping at the mall during the Christmas frenzy with 
my three year old daughter Ellen, her little hand pulling me 
between stores and escalator rides.  I was so preoccupied with her 
safety that my heart jumped between various possible "what if's" 
and my eyes forged ahead to avoid those embarrassing collisions 
that frequent the mix of mall and child.  During the rare moments 
when my guard was down, I thought about how to make it more 
relaxing - this was supposed to be fun, after all.  Several 
fantasies came to mind, but one stuck, and even though I didn't 
want to act it out, I found it instructive.

Sometimes I see other parents acting out the fantasy.  Doggie 
leash in one hand and a bag in the other, their child is always in 
harness and just a tug away.  I remembered this image and let 
myself dream.  Ellen at the end of a leash, double straps around 
her middle jerking my hand, but no real contact.  Hmm, is this 
what I want on an outing with my child?  Has the fear of loosing 
her taken over the fun of being with her?  Even without the leash 
I'm mostly just a body guard sans training.  In retrospect I feel 
embarrassed characterizing our trips to the mall as "time 
together."
    
Yet the mall scene is analogous to a problem we parents face every 
day of our lives.  Whenever children are away from our care, we 
relinquish some control - allowing random influences to teach them 
about life in our changing world.  Thankfully so, to a point, 
since they soon will have to live in it.  But as parents we fear 
the dark side of this influence, which to an increasing degree is 
focusing to form gangs, promote the use of drugs, and to encourage 
the use of weapons as a means for solving problems.

Fortunately our society provides primary education for most 
families who seek it.  Within the school system there is a 
structure which tends to diffuse random influences and offers many 
children a relatively safe haven in which they can broaden their 
horizons.  But schools are not given enough support to fully cope 
with this challenge.  With little outdoor space and student to 
staff ratios of typically 20:1 or higher, individual work with 
children can be constricted and diluted.  Teachers may respond by 
choosing a curriculum honoring safety and efficiency over freedom 
and effectiveness.  But, even so, the rote part of education is 
done.  We can know that a concerted effort has been made to 
present the needed information - a job deserving our appreciation.

But much is missing.  Where can our children go to lie under a 
tree and let their minds filter through all the information, 
without wondering if someone is lurking in the shadows?  When do 
they get the chance to relate to friends without their guard up 
and locked, waiting for the familiar jab or insult that outlines 
many conversations with buddies at school?  How can we give them 
the freedom to explore their decision making powers in a safe 
environment away from home?

Parents of children that attend our summer camp usually ask 
questions about safety before deciding to let them go for the 
summer.  What precautions do you take to prevent accidents?  How 
old are your counselors, and are the children always under 
supervision?  Will my child's need for privacy be respected?  What 
happens if my child gets homesick?  How do you handle discipline 
at camp?
  
These practical concerns must be settled before parents can 
explore the full benefits of the safety net provided at camp.  
Once settled, however, a parent begins to think in broader terms: 
If it is safe at camp, then my child could try things s/he 
wouldn't even consider at home.  Some typical situations that 
characterize the unique decisions I have seen children make at 
camp are as follows:  while scooping up horse manure in the 
corral, a 14 year old girl and an 8 year old boy feel free to 
laugh uncontrollably together;  a shy girl risks playing a short 
piece on the piano for talent night and even though she makes many 
mistakes, finds everyone smiling and clapping for her when she is 
finished;  a boy who is petrified of large animals spends an hour 
with instructor and horse that ends with a ride back to the corral 
and an ear to ear grin.

When looking for a camp give yourself ample time to make it an 
adventure.  Camp administrators are friendly and willing to talk 
at length about their program.  Ask to talk with parents who have 
sent their children there so you can compare what the 
administrator says with the story from an actual camper.  Take 
advantage of slide shows or videos offered so both you and your 
children can get a feel for the camp program and philosophy.   
Check out the safety aspects of the camp, but don't forget to look 
beyond them for a philosophy that you think will encourage your 
child to risk trying experiences beyond where s/he is currently 
capable.  Also, if your child participates in the decision, s/he 
will enter camp feeling empowered by the act of choosing.  
Remember, it's when the child feels safe that the magic happens at 
camp.

After the decision is made and your child is away at camp, you may 
interpret homesickness from the first letters home.  The open 
space, new people, and rich programs presented can be a shock to 
first timers, and it takes a few days to adjust.  But a camp that 
is prepared for this will have programs woven into its daily 
schedule designed to help children build confidence and self 
respect, so that they can sink their teeth into the experience 
well before it's over.  With camper to staff ratios running around 
4:1, individual attention can be given to campers on a regular 
basis adding a sense of safety to the process.
  
When children perceive camp to be safe, their decision making 
process changes to include a wider range of choices.  As a result, 
the child is able to discover more of the natural limitations 
inherent to a particular activity, which offer lessons devised by 
the world around us, instead of from logical limitations devised 
by people.  In this broader, safer world, children experience 
fundamentals that become powerful tools in non camp-related 
situations once they return home.  Children leave camp with a 
better understanding of how life works because they were allowed 
to experience it in a safe environment.
                     
Prepare yourself for some surprises once the time at camp is over.  
Your child may cry about leaving camp, sing fun camp songs 
(endlessly!), and say special things like "it's cool to care 
here."  Many parents mention that their children speak highly of 
themselves after camp - "I'm great at horsemanship, drama, 
swimming, and making friends."  All of this stems from the fact 
that camps offer an expanded horizon to children in an environment 
designed to be safe and fun.  Although every camp's  program and 
philosophy are different, I firmly believe that if you put your 
heads and hearts into it, the camp you and your child choose will 
be the right one for you.


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