Now, you were probably expecting a fancy web page, perhaps directly supported by the club, complete with all the latest news, photos and other stuff. Fat chance!

As a friend put it: "They're so incompetant that they can't even put up a 'On Vacation' sign at their fan shop, so how do you expect them to put up a Web site?!"

I wouldn't go that far. I think that club management is just unaware of the potential legion of WSV fans out in cyberspace, full of Heimweh for the terraces of the Zoostadion and Schwebebahn. The first demonstration of this allegiance is one of the first Web pages for a German soccer club on this side of the Atlantic. (Well, actually the Pacific!) Besides, unlike Bayern and their fans, we actually know that internet=AOL...NOT!

(OK, I have to admit that my first real love was in fact ASV Wuppertal, mainly because they used to play on the dirt field Am Gelben Sprung which was about 5 miuntes from my house. The main attraction was that you could sneak in without paying. Of course, since they were usually several divisions below WSV, that was not a problem. I suppose it could have been when WSV sucked bigtime and ASV were playing over their head a few years ago, and they both played in the Oberliga for a couple of years in the late 70s/early 80s.)

But, you're probably still asking yourself, "Why should I give a hoot about some mediocre club from a city with a funny name when I could just as easily see real soccer team, which has a real web site with pretty pictures, like Flamengo ? Or find out the latest opera news about Bayern München?

Well, for one thing, all those image files with annoying backgrounds take forever to load. Then there's probably thousands of others trying to view the web page at the same time, so the web server chokes! To add final insult to injury, if it's an official club supported site, then they'll probably try to sell you all sorts of crappy merchandise, from club emblem toilet paper to the 'kit of the week' (a special for you Manchester United fans).

Nope, this page IS different - which doesn't mean that we won't someday try to sell you merchandise. However, it will be quality goods emblazened with the WSV emblem; something that everybody would be proud to display in their home.

Being far removed from the terraces of the Zoo Stadium, we of course offer a completely different perspective of the club. No biased reporting a la club sponsored sites, plus no constant whining about the officials robbing us of our rightful victory that is all too prevelant on fan sponsored web pages.

OK, I give up. If you're still reading this, then you're probably a loser with too much time on your hands, so why not root for WSV? (Hey, at least I lived in Wuppertal. So what's your excuse?)

However, there is still hope for you! For one thing, by still reading this page, after you've been indirectly insulted, you've shown that you have the prerequisite infinite amount of patience to deal with frustrating losses that seem run of the course. (BTW, you might make a good Tottenham supporter as well.) But rest assured that that things are going somewhere, and you will definitely want to be a veteran when things turn around. Then you can sneer at all the bandwagon fans and tell them to go off and give der Kaiser their Deutschmarks!