The Hourglass

Fall 2008 Issue #2 7/28/08

7/29 Lunch Stout Bros 12pm

With everything upon us, and the crazy times we will be having, don’t forget your commitment to Active 20-30 Club and Santa Rosa #50.

Join in the fun for the Woco Pre-Tour events, especialy Friday next week. We'll be at Stout Brothers from 7 to 9pm hosting the International clubs. Of course we will see everyone for Kidspree on Saturday August 2nd at Coddingtown Mall. Lastly, to show our support and dedication we will also be having an alumni night on Monday August 4th at the Druids Hall instead of our usual lunch meeting on Tuesday.

Come on out and join in the fun and excitement. There is a lot in store for this term, so make an effort to show your support, just don’t wear yourself out. As Greg Hurd’s saying goes, if everyone does a little no one will have to do a lot.

Also, I’m looking to build the membership back up since we will be losing some great guys who will be turning 40. So if you attend a lunch meeting and you have a guest I won’t fine you. So I’ll leave you with this last note. Let’s relax, enjoy this term and have a few laughs together. I know I will. Party on Dudes!

Craig M. Brisgel
President
Santa Rosa #50

Left: $15. Right: $500

Left: $12 Right: $1,000

Honestly, who buys this shit? IDIOTS, that's who.

Dues are DUE!!!

You should have received an invoice via email. If you missed it, click here.
Let's not have any of that sissy "I didn't get an invoice" shit this term, eh?

If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody's there to hear it, does it make a sound? If Craig puts on a damn good meeting and nobody's there to enjoy it, does that make you all lousy douchebags for missing out?

Question of the day: What's your favorite installation memory?

Watching Eric Reid gather his stuff, head to the parking lot, and come back ten minutes later, "oops, forgot my wife." - Dave "Mezmerizer" Peterson

Seeing Craig grab my wife's ass. - Robert "East Side" Ramirez

Watching Dave Hagele take one for the team, I like tight wet jeans - Michael "YMCA" Tremont

The look on Mary's face when Don Mills sat down next to her, realizing she had to baby sit him the rest of the night - Brian "BabyMomma" Bunt

No reports from First Vice, Secretary, Treasurer, Challenger Little League, 2008 Convention and Homeless Shelter as those pansies weren't there.

Three marbles in the bag, $470, and David "What Ocean?" Hamelburg failed to complete the deal.

This was more like it - about 30 people in attendance. Craig managed to handle things well, even with a larger crowd.

Rob "Compensator" Merletti shared a story of his recent 20 year high school reunion. I know - you're thinking what I am, but I'm pretty sure he was held back a couple years. Anyway - Rob rolls in to show off his wife, because he doesn't have enough hair to be proud of, and his waistline is no treat either. He catches some flack from a classmate with an ugly fat bag of a spouse, "Hey Merletti! Looks like you bought yourself a wife!" Rob checks out the ugly fat bag and says, "Looks like you did too. I just had a higher budget."

When browbeaten for missing installation,. Jason "Schmoe" Glazier said, "I was manning the counter at Santa Rosa Shoes, sorry."

Rob M asked, "Where's Scott Huberts, isn't he First Vice?" When told that Scott was on vacation, Rob asked for clarification: "Is that VA-cation, or STEAK-ation?"

Evan "Haystack" Hershey reminded everyone that what goes down at convention stays at convention.

Disco Dave choked on a two-marble $480 shot. Back to two marbles next week.

Gentlemen, as most of you know by now, the women’s 1029 Club is hosting a WOCO pre-tour the weekend of Kidspree (August 1 – 4). They’ve been working on this for who knows how many months with wine tastings, BBQ’s and a fancy sunset cruise under the Golden Gate Bridge (nothing like the sight of the glistening sunset, filtered through the gentle splash from a body hitting the water…) A number of months ago, Tara “LOOK AT MY NIPPLES!” Martinelli approached me about Club #50 hosting the welcome party on Friday night. I of course said “Yes! We will do what we can to support our fellow club as we walk on this journey to further help local underprivileged kids!” or something like that…I don’t know…I was looking at the fabric on her sweater, straining to keep from tearing….where was I….OH! So essentially, they’re doing all the work, getting all the people here, arranging all the hotels, tours and boat rides, and we get to welcome all the guests! Sounds pretty sweet to me…Here are the details:

Date: Friday, August 1st

Location: Stout Brothers

Time: 7 p.m. – 9 p.m.

Cost: $10 for Club #50 members and their guests only. $25 for other clubs and members. (Just so Dominic is clear: If you’re banging a 1029 girl and you bring her, she pays $25. If you bring a random pre-teen with a fake ID you met that day working the fair? $10)

* Appetizers: Buffalo Wings, Cheesy Potato Skins, Veggie Tray and Spinach Dip with Sourdough bread.
* Beer: Bottled Beer - Coors Light and Land Shark Lager (enough for the party)
* Alcohol: Two(2) bottles of Jack Daniels with mixers
* Wine: the club is welcome to bring their own and we will pour.
* Bartender for the event and server.
* Wristbands for the event

There will be a table set up upstairs. Pay the $10, get a wrist band and partake in the festivities. Around 7:30 p.m. our newly stylish President, sporting some form of new mousse in his hair, will welcome our international guests to the event. Make it a point to welcome them to Santa Rosa. One happy international guest today equal 5 international guests for Convention 2010!

See you guys there! Your Immediate Past President, David Hagele

The event started late, surprise surprise, with the canoeing folk pushing off at around 11:30AM on Saturday morning. Within minutes Mike Wear had kicked Dominic off his canoe and sent him on a search for someone that would mind his inability to do any sort of physical labor. Bill no last name was proudly announcing to the world that he was already "seven beers deep" and that "he was planning on blacking out that evening" (and they wonder why the 1029 club doesn't like them -ed)

By the time we reached the first bathroom break, there had been numerous collisions, flipped canoes, jokes made at Dominic's expense, and of course an unreal amount of alcohol consumed.

Dawn and Denise from 1029 were trolling for men (as always) and felt the best way to do so was to mix an incredibly potent drink and offer it to any unsuspecting individual who had not previously seen this tactic employed. I, of course declined, not wanting to end up in a grass skirt on the women's club float as was the result of the last "Dawn and Denise" concoction made especially for the Rose Parade. (who had the skirt? Bill had the coconut titties, I remember that much -ed)

After the second organized break, it became very clear who made regular trips to the gym and who calls their walk from the parking garage to the office a workout as the large group become five or six small groups all traveling at speeds ranging from turtle to snail. It became increasingly clear to me as we traveled farther down the river that my German skin was losing the battle with the sun and that I needed to search for someone who had remembered sunscreen.

During my quest for relief from the sun's harsh rays, I came across some interesting spectacles. I happened upon the canoe with a certain 1029 member who has a difficult time keeping her clothes on sunbathing topless on the front of her canoe. This did not surprise me, but the funny sight was Bill making sure that his canoe kept perfect time with hers, drooling, as though he had never seen a pair of fake tits before.

I then happened upon the canoe that Dominic was finally attempting to paddle. I actually thought they might push him overboard and force him to swim the rest of the way. Apparently Dominic didn't understand that the purpose of a "dry bag" was to keep items such as phones, wallets, ad other important things dry. He, after opening it for the second or third time, had forgotten to close it, leaving Sarah D. and Karina O.'s phones completely soaked.

Finally I rounded the bend towards the pickup point, looking like a lobster at by now, and was hit with the sad realization that there was a completely separate event to attend. Luckily the installation was just minutes away from the canoe rentals and we were there in moments to continue the debauchery.

There was very little to report from the installation, as everyone who was on the canoe trip was quickly succumbing to the effects of overexposure to Sun and Alcohol. The actual installation was uneventful, with shots for the new BOD and Nicole Au being installed as the new president of 1029. Something that can be learned from their installation though; do not ever have a nighttime event scheduled in a grove of redwood trees. The conditions went from pleasant to arctic in a matter of minutes once the sun started to set.

All in all a great day and a fun inter-club activity. The womens club really appreciated the number of 50 guys who showed up, proving that all you really need to get a bunch of our club at an event is the promise of at least 6 straight hours of drinking.

Favorite post event quote: "I'm still sore (a week later) from having Bill behind me all day." - Sarah Walker

Favorite canoe trip quote: "God damnit Dominic! Stop being such a girl and learn to paddle" - Karina Orndorff (This said while Dominic is paddling them in circles, then "resting" every minute or so)

Kevin Doran was there with his on again off again romantic interest, up to his usual antics, hitting on other women blatantly in front of her.

Stephanie Coleman was only coherent for the first hour, but managed to make it all the way to the installation prior to passing out face down on the ground.

It was difficult to avoid seeing Bill's bright white ass during the trip, as he dropped his pants to his ankles every time he took a piss. The more he drank, the more the exhibitionist in him came out, shouting for people to look at him while he bent over to pull his swim trunks up. (sure am sorry I missed that part -ed)

Ya know how when you get home and your really tired and you say, “Gee! I really could use a little pick-me-up, like something to get your blood moving a little”?

So you get out of your car, go get the mail, and start to read it while you let your dog out of the backyard and your heading for the house. And, ya just about step on a freakin’ 4 foot rattle snake that climbing up your stairs headed for your front door.

But, it gets better….. The dog runs right past the snake and now is trapped on the porch with the door locked behind him. The snake is rattling like crazy and the dog wants to sniff it.

So what do you do?

Ya take a 3 foot, flimsy, aluminum duster that’s laying next to your foot, take a deep breath and swipe the rattling snake off the stairs (which has a longer striking distance) so that it doesn’t back into your dog and kill it. Then you run in the house and grab your gun and put three rounds into the snake, drop the gun, make a martini to stop from shaking, and hope the cops don’t come after hearing the gun shots and arrest you.

Which they didn’t.

11 rattles on the snake!!!

Score this year 3-0

Score last year 4-0

More installation tomfoolery

Who is that bald guy, damn he's hot.

Tom's last memory of the night

Dave's excused to go home.

Lemme just grab on here a second.

I understand that Dave and Joe are roommates now.

Evan giving Dave some pointers

And over here is our party rentals section.

What are these guys doing outside?

Craig with women. Must be relatives

When you got it, flaunt it.

Why am I here? I dunno, you invited me, sucker.

Take a picture, it'll last longer. Oh wait.

This is usually where the pain begins. Mudslides?

Hey! I'm just going to hold this couch down for a bit.

Seriously, I think Eric would be cool with it.