Update! Blowoffs, submitted by Ken Ashe
Navas' Law
Some Rules To Abide By If You Want To Post Like John Navas:
1. I have to get the last word. It says so in the charter of this
newsgroup.
2. Never concede a point. Everybody must enjoy the endless
bantering and pontification (especially my own) as much
as I do.
3. If you're an ISP, and I seem content with your services right
now, beware. It won't last, and lawyers will eventually
need to get involved.
4. I will rail and sputter against ORBS and MAPS to such a degree as
to make them look symphathatic.
5. My FAQ makes me such an expert that everybody is hanging on my
every word here.
6. [POSTED TO ba.internet; PLEASE REPLY THERE]
7. RTFM. YMMV. <g> *sigh* <PLONK>
8. I am an entitlement freak. If you have an MX record you *must*
accept my posts. Even if my <spamfilter@navasgrp.dublin.ca.us>
doesn't welcome your email.
9. Best Regards,
(my ass...it's just a part of my .sig)
10. Did you realize that I'm not limited to only ten rules?
11. Did I tell you I have to get the last word?
[SNIP]
Looks like these aren't enough. Some submissions:
From Steve Machol, giving Navas the benefit of the doubt. The numbering reflects the sudden intersection of an alternate reality.
666. I spend a lot of my personal time trying to help people in this
newsgroup and others. I don't do it for the money or glory, I just
do it because that's what I like to do! YMMV
Context switch. We are now back in the regular space-time continuum.
From Bob Wallace:
12. Hassle other people if they make what I consider an off-topic
post (even if the post is obviously directly related to internet
connectivity in the SF Bay Area) but I can make as many clearly
off-topic posts as I want to. The same rules don't apply to mine.
From Dave W. Smith:
13. Did you get what I said in number 11?These from Todd M. McComb:
14. My posts are so important because I'm advocating for consumers...
even those who don't want what I'm pushing.
15. I believe I am very smart, even when most other regulars are chuckling
at my idiocy behind my back... or to my face.
16. Did I mention how my FAQ makes me an expert?
17. You did know that newspaper reporters talk to me, didn't you? So I am
not an idiot.
18. Did the moon change phases? Time to change ISPs. I'm telling you,
this new one finally gets it right.
Observation by Phil Koenig:
19. Just because I can take somebody to task about posting a link to
some study complaining that it is not objective doesn't mean I can't
cite from the same source later.
Yours truly came up with these:
20. The facts be damned, I'm John Navas! See #26.
21. I'm a card-carrying member of the MAA (Microsoft Apologists
Association)
Inspired by Nick Biller:
22. I will selectively quote and edit to spin my replies so I place
myself in the best possible light and my opponents in the worst,
up to and perhaps beyond the point of libel.
From Steve Johnson and Troy:
23. Mind your own business.
24. Have a nice day. (see #9 for the spirit behind this sentiment)
From myself:
25. "You too." He says this when he can't come up with anything else
to say, and wants to boost his posting totals.
26. "I disagree." Agreement will come with the heat death of the Universe.
27. [SNIP] Too bad what's below it is worthless too.
From Troy:
> Hmm. I don't see 'pity' or 'grow up' on your list of navasims. > > As in: > "I see you still haven't grown up. Pity." > > Ditto: > My [fill in the blank] has done better than that. > > Not that it really matters, because with Navas recently issuing an > apology, the heat death of the universe must be nigh.And something from Trebor (of ba.internet infamy) on how to perform a holding action on Navas' incessant posting:
> Yea, that was the idea. It's the only way to stop the Navasbot. Block > every leaf node with a post it cannot respond to. At a certain point, > when available leaf nodes drop low enough, the software turns itself > off. Until the Koenig Helper Application restarts it, of course.David desJardins notes that this tactic is only so effective:
> Unfortunately, he's perfected the generic "I could respond, but I choose > not to," response. That seems to be unblockable.Philip Koenig provides a humorous clarification:
> I'm a watchdog timer.. Woof! Get it right.For more from Phil, see his series on Usenet Debate Lessons #15-#18 and #19. As for what happened to the first fourteen...and why #19 is repeated twice, ask Phil :-) (don't forget to unmunge). He also authored a post describing a couple of Navas argumentative tricks one should be on the lookout for.
Here's a count of the number of times Navas has posted to Usenet.