The Birthday Ride

A Comedy of Errors

It all started out going pretty smoothly. The Burlingame players (James, Greg and Sebastian) set out to meet the East side players (Cirrus – the birthday boy –, and his posy: Eric, Austin and Dan who had just arrived from California the night before). A few calls confirmed that the best thing to do was to meet at the Full Sail pub in Hood River.

West Side Players Get Started

Past Troutdale, Sebastian thought it would be wise to check in on the East side crew as the last time he had spoken with them, they were just arriving at Portland’s newest Brewery, H.U.B., after having already sampled the goods at Alameda Brew house and Rogue Pub. There was some short-lived concern when Cirrus didn’t pick up the call. But literally seconds later, a California plated Subbi pulled up, honked, and a carload of boisterous guys were giving us friendly gestures. The two groups were reunited!

California Plated Subbi Suddenly Appears

So far, so good.

Hood River, just a short hour from Portland, is one cool little town. This windsurfing and extreme sport Mecca has been boasting a couple of top notch breweries for years, namely Full Sail Brewery and Big Horse Brewery. But Sebastian had just discovered two days earlier that a relative newcomer had come on the scene: Double Mountain Brewery. It seemed that the only fair thing to do was to respect the old timers by giving them their due patronage (a near monthly tradition) and to grace the new brewery on the block as well. And so ensued fine beer drinking accompanied by cheerful conversations and some much needed food to keep all the players in the game.

Apps at Full Sail

No Time To Fool Around: 2 More Pubs To Go

Discovering The Newest Pub In Town

Tireless, The Players Hit Their Third (Sixth For The East Side Players) Pub

Birthday Boy Enjoying His Due Treat

Fully loaded on the carbs, the seven players crossed the river and headed East to the bottom of the targeted ride. The Subbi was left behind as the seven riders took the James Vanagon Shuttle to the end of the paved road. Although the poor van was overloaded with seven guys and all their equipment (including seven bikes assembled and tied to the 4-bike rack), it made it up this hill with gusto in record time! What usually takes an hour and a half was eaten up by the powerful VW in a mere 15 minutes.

Bike Sculpture Ready To Shuttle Up The Hill

The pub crawl had taken quite a bit of time and it was already nearly 10pm. Yet because it was a couple of days after the full moon, the crew set off on what was to be one of the darkest starlit rides ever done. We knew the moon would not rise until 11:30 but thought that the twilight would be enough to make due.

Reminiscing Good Times

After some reminiscing about past parties, we rode the rest of the way up as the Vanagon had stopped where the pavement ends. That left us a couple of miles of very steep gravel road before reaching the top of the ride. It was all down hill (for most) from there. And as predicted, the upper part of the trail, fully covered in a beautiful thick pine forest, was very dark. The beer spot was quickly reached, however, without incident. Refreshments were enjoyed (it had been all too long) and good conversation kept the atmosphere full of joy.

A few minutes later, the group was ready to proceed to the darkest part of the ride. With safety in mind, all the players could do to stop from running into each other was continuously laugh and cheer loudly. Although this proved to be an efficient safety mechanism, it was not a technique appreciated by everyone. One of the local landowners was apparently a little disturbed by our whooping it up and thought it wise to advertise his private property rights with some shots fired in the air. The over-zealous show of strength dramatically changed the course of the evening!

Having arrived at the end of the forest and the beginning of the second half (the money half) of the downhill, the seven players gathered and started joking about the turn of events. The laughter quickly dissipated, however, when it was realized that Rusty, the faithful canine companion, had disappeared when the shots were fired.

Ten minutes of intense calling later, Cirrus, Eric and Austin went back up the hill as the rest of the crew waited and watched a spectacular moon rise. Had we all been together, the timing would have been absolutely perfect! But we were destined for a different night. After 15 minutes, Eric came back, alone and happy to finally find us. They had not found Rusty and so… Cirrus and Austin were in the process of riding back up to the van, assuming that the smart canine would bolt back to the car as quickly as he could. A few more minutes passed. At last the phone rang: they were all three (Cirrus, Austin and Rusty) back at the van. Cheers!!

Everyone was glad and the remaining crew of five was able to start the incredible cliff edge single-track downhill that this ride is famous for. The time spent waiting to find Rusty had not been squandered and Sebastian was able to find the usually alluding single track that brings us back here every month. And what a downhill ride it was. Incredible views, hair-raising switchbacks just a few feet from a sure death, and more and more technical difficulties the further one goes!

Sebastian stopped to wait for others about a third of the way down. Happy riders came one by one, some making a loud thump just yards away; carnage! We reunited and licked our wounds a bit before going further down.

Just a short mile from the bottom, Sebastian stopped again right after an impressive boulder that is barely ridable, took out his camera and waited for the four riders to stream by. Dan was the first to arrive, set up, and ride the boulder. He teetered on top of it. Thinking that he had all but cleared it, Sebastian flashed him: FLASH. Unfortunately, Dan had not yet chosen his line and proceeded to fall loudly in front of his bike that had simply refused to move forward an inch: THUMP!

Dan Negotiating A Tough Boulders Before Crashing Thanks To This Photo’s FLASH

This newest crash pushed the group to once again take a moment to lick wounds. It’s impetus also forced Eric to realize that he had left his camera at the last wound licking spot, miles up the hill! And so started another long wait. Sebastian and Greg waited as Eric headed straight up the hill, cutting through the dozens of switchbacks we had just enjoyed. Dan and James were smart enough to offer to go down to the car, so they could start the process of going back up the hill to pick up Cirrus, Austin and Rusty.

A few minutes later, Sebastian and Greg could hear Eric calling, obviously needing some guidance. Sebastian climbed up the hill a bit to a mount from which he took a photo so the flash might alert Eric as to the proper direction to take. He was quickly answered by another flash some yards up the hill. He found it!

Eric having rejoined the dwindled group, the last three little indians continued down the remaining mile to the road. They quickly made it back to the bottom, but not before Greg had time to take another spill yards from the end.

The last riders made it back to the parking lot minutes before the two cars showed up. The players were finally reunited. Beers were opened, stories were traded. It was late (past 1 am) but the group could finally call it a ride and head home.

That is until Eric realized that he was once again missing one of his material possessions. Evidently, Cirrus had dropped Eric’s glasses up at the top of the pavement while looking in his pack for possible beers to make the wait a little less harsh. Cirrus, Austin and Dan raced back to the top in the Subbi while the rest of the group once again waited, one of the common themes of this ride.

A few minutes later the hunters were back. They stepped out of the car, came towards Eric, explained that they had looked long and hard, and handed him his glasses that they had found at the last second on the road! Cheers!

A quick, fatigued goodbye later, the Burlingame players and the East side players were in their prospective cars, attacking the last part of the adventure; the ride home. Getting home at three o’clock in the morning was never part of the plan. But neither was the comedy of errors set off by the shots in the dark the adventurers encountered. And undoubtedly, this was a less than perfect birthday ride.

Glasses Were Found: Cheers!

We Found’ Em, See.

Greg Doing His End-Of-The-Ride Shuffle

But the jovial camaraderie and momentous occasion carried the night and once again, it was a successful full moon adventure.