Paparazzo Catches Bear Undercover
Navarro, California -- The lucky photographer said she happened on the scene quite by accident. "I was walking from the kitchen to the living room when something caught my eye," said Elaine Kalantarian, a longtime contributor to the Dirtball. "I had just finished lunch and was looking for a place to sit down, I was thinking about the couch. Then, out of the corner of my eye I saw something strange. I couldn't make it out at first, but once I did I could think of only one thing: Get the camera!"
And get the camera she did, to the tune of $365,000. That's what the Dirtball payed for the series of four exclusive never-before-seen photos captured by the veteran paparazzo before the Bear disappeared into the woods.
Ever since the Kalantarians brought the black vinyl barbecue cover home from the hardware store, they thought that something funny might be happening with it. "Sometimes, after I'd leave that ol' thing on the deck for a spell, it would look different to me later," said Michael, Elaine's husband. "At first I thought I was crazy or something. Then, after awhile, I guess I just got used to it. If I'd a-known it was the Bear all this time I'd a-been more scared, I can tell you that right now."
The Kalantarians say they'd like to "try retiring" on the money made from the rare photographs, as long as the Bear doesn't initiate legal proceedings. Neither the Bear, nor the Bear's agent, could be reached for comment.