"The fact that a man can blatantly open a string of battered fish shops is shameful evidence that our society tolerates battering," Hyphenated-Lastname said.
"We are demanding that Mr. Treacher be charged immediately with fish battering, even though he has been dead for twenty years," Hyphenated-Lastname said. "It is our experience with the Battered Women Defense that dead men make the best targets, as they can no longer give their side of the story."
"We must not let the fact that Mr. Treacher is dead become an excuse for not blaming all men, past, present, and future, for the sins committed by any one man. Because Mr. Treacher has battered fish, all men are guilty."
"All studies done by the Propaganda Organization for Women show that fish battering is done exclusively by men. Backlashers have tried to claim that some women batter fish, too. But in each an every case we investigated, it turned out that the battering was justified. In most cases, the fish had tried to rape the women. And some of the fish had made sexist comments."
"It is ludicrous to try to blame such women for their actions. Even when there is evidence that a woman battered fish, we have to remember that these women live in a patriarchal society. They had been socialized and brainwashed. They had little choice. When it comes to battering fish, the only choices women have ever had are regular and extra-crispy."