By the time I was nineteen, I was alone with two young children, a drinking problem, a drug habit, and no place to live. I felt like the whole world was against me. I knew I didn't really have any friends that trusted me, I was too ashamed to go around my family, and I was mad at God for letting all of this happen to me. Where was He anyway? I was so devoted to Him as a child, and I always believed that someday He could “fix” my life, but I had a hard time believing that He actually would. I believed that He was being unfair to me. He didn't love me. He had abandoned me! I mean, everything in my life that could go wrong, did go wrong. I got hooked on drugs as a young kid, my parents got a divorce, all of my brothers and sisters were a wreck with problems of thier own. At 17, I ended up pregnant, twice (again at 19). I was broke, homeless, friendless, and hopeless. For too many years I struggled with the overwhelming feeling of not belonging. I was terrified, and most of the time lived in confusion and fear. I had tried to commit suicide when I was 15 and now at 23 it was again on my mind. I was so hopeless, so helpless....like a little kid. I just wanted someone to care about me, to love me. I mean really, is that too much to ask? 

As my life continued to get worse, my younger sister's life was on the mend. She had married a guy who's family was Christian. She started going to church with them, and then the strangest thing happened. She and her husband moved right next door to me. She started telling me that God loved me just as I was and that He had a better life for me than the one I was living. She said that if I let Him, He would help me. Well, I listened but I didn't believe. 

I was stunned. I slunk down into the pew and just listened. I don't really remember too much of what he said that night but at the end of it all there was an altar call. My 'pot-smoking' brother-in-law who was sitting right next to me, poked me in the ribs and said, "Want to go up there?" I didn't even have to think about it. "Yeah" I said. He looked at me and said, "I'll go with ya".

Each day my life gets better. Yeah, there are trials and disappointments, but now I know I'm not alone. I don't have to carry any burdens by myself. I don't have to rely on myself to make things better. Jesus said He would be with me always. I believe Him. I have hope that it really is going to be okay, I am loved, and I do have a purpose here on this earth! 

It is my desire to share this hope in every song I write, every note I sing, and every testimony I give. I enjoy writing songs that really dig into the heart of the matter, and tell it like it is, honestly. Real life, real struggles, real victory! As God continues the gentle healing of my damaged emotions, restoring life to my soul, I can't help but sing about it! So that's what I do. 

In August of '96, God called me to full time ministry. I struggled with Him about it for over a year. Who would pay the bills if I were to quit my job as a manicurist? I was so afraid to even consider it, until one day, with unbelievable pain in my hands, it became impossible for me to work. I was really on the edge and knew I had to take a step of faith that would change everything. I was so very afraid, and then I heard this true story that changed my life....

There was a man who had a three year old daughter who had been taking a nap. He went down to the basement to get supplies for the family when the child woke with a start. She was scared to find she was all alone and didn't know where her daddy was. Her father had just turned out the light in the basement and was on his way back up the stairs when he heard her running through the house screaming, “Daddy, daddy, where's my daddy!” 
“I'm here honey, I'm right here” he said. 
She ran to the door of the basement and peering in to the darkness she whimpered, ”I can hear you but I can't see you, how do I know your really there?” 
With the light shining from behind her, he could see her perfectly. 

For  12 years now I have been working full time in music ministry. God is showing me that in every church, school, coffee house, rest home, park, homeless shelter, or street corner, there are people who need, and want, to be ministered to in the specific area of spiritual and emotional healing. The ministry of music has a way of touching hearts and changing lives. It reaches into the heart, washing away from the soul the dust of everyday life. Nothing in this world is more important to me than to serve Jesus in the ministry He has called me to. I desire to follow Him in simplicity and truth, and until He comes to take us home, it is my hearts desire to continue going to those who have the ears to hear, and eyes that want to see, that Jesus Christ alone, is all we'll ever need.