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Welcome Home Ken, guess what happened today... Should I just cry, or should I run away? Tell me it's good that we share wedding rings, Tell me they're good boys who just do bad things! |
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| Adore in Princeton, a bright sunny day,
Two big men in badges they knock and they say, "Why doesn't young Peter want to pay for the phone? He dials cross the country by playing a tone! He thinks he's too smart for old Ma Bell to find,
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While away at Carnegie Tech, Peter learned how to fool the phone system by recording special tones and playing them back to "dial" a number toll-free. He almost got away with it. |
Should I just cry, or should I run away? Tell me it's worth all these arrows and slings, Tell me they're good boys who just do bad things! |
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| "Hello Mrs. Bice, it's the Holden Police,
About your son Chris, this behavior must cease; He and his friends are a vandalous curse, Defacing a water tank--what could be worse! You know he's a wise guy, and you know that's not all,
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Chris, in high school, formed a team who painted "BLOOD BANK" on
a new water tower in Holden. They even painted blood seeping out
of the top. He almost got away with it.
We learned to make ammonium iodide about then, too. If you spread it on the ground, it explodes when people step on it. It will even blow the heel off the shoe of someone trying to make you sweep it up. |
| Welcome Home Ken, guess what
happened today...
Should I just cry, or should I run away? They've survived poison ivy and barefoot beestings, Tell me they're good boys who just do bad things! |
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| "Now Mr. and Mrs. Bice, let's not be coy,
We're FBI agents, and we want your boy; Where is your son David, he's long overdue, For a shave and a haircut and a uniform too! Since he gave us his address, we're hot on his trail,
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Dave's story of evading the draft in the 70's is well known. Less is known of the ineptitude of those looking for him. The FBI actually contacted Mom and Dad after Dave had sent them his change of address. He went to Nicaragua to do Berkeley doctoral research. |
Should I just cry, or should I run away? I cringe every time that the telephone rings, Tell me they're good boys who just do bad things! |
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| Now, Adore was making some pe-nu-che fudge,
When the phone call came from the municipal judge; Seems Tim had disturbed the man's nap for the day, So he called on his cop friends who hauled Tim away. He said "Mrs. Bice, your son’s clearly a crook,
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Mom, Dad, Tim and Jeff lived on an upper floor in a swank Philadelphia
apartment. Below them lived a judge with no sense of humor.
One halloween Tim and Jeff were alone throwing sparklers off the
balcony. The judge was not amused and had Tim thrown in jail.
Later, while living in Los Angeles, Tim was taking a Philadelphia friend back to the airport. There was no security back then, and they both got on the plane. Tim just sort of picked a seat and sat down. After the plane landed, he called home and said "Guess where I am!" |
Should I just cry, or should I run away? Is this the day that the fat lady sings, Tell me they're good boys who just do bad things! |
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| "Hi again Mrs. Bice, it's the old Princeton Cops,
Just how many criminal sons have you got? Your youngest one Jeffrey built a house in the woods, That they say is a hangout for hoodlums and hoods. He built without permits, this punk on the run,
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Jeff got homesick for Princeton. We still had our woods property
there, so he designed a cabin and arranged for lumber to be delivered to
the site. He built himself a cabin and planned to stay the summer.
Princeton parents were apoplectic. They weren't about to let their kids do anything like this, and they let the police chief know that the cabin had to go. After numerous official raids, Jeff moved in with friends and the cabin came down. |
Should I just cry, or should I run away? They could have been presidents, prophets, or kings, Tell me they're good boys who just do bad things! |
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| Now, we didn't pee in Russ Vickery's sap,
Or sniff glue, or sit on old Dick Bennett's lap; Or snitch that motorcycle and drive South so far, Or scare poor Clyde Wambach--or steal Gendron's car! Like all boys we just wanted good A-S-S--
(that's "After-School Snack")
So Adore we wish you a happy B-Day,
Should I just cry, or should I run away? Tell me it's good that we share wedding rings, Tell me they're good boys who just do bad things! Hey--how did our car get those dents and those dings?
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Earl R. Vickery was the superintendent of Mount Wachusett.
Every spring he would tap the maple trees and boil down a barrel of sap
for sugar. That process takes weeks, and needs a full-time fire.
I don't know if anyone actually peed in it, but it makes a good story.
Dick Bennett was a Princeton scoutmaster who loved his job. Loved it. Rusty Shaughnessy was famous for being the first Princeton jailbird. He stole a motorcycle and didn't get away with it. Clyde Wambach was the church custodian -- some kid got up in the balcony and made ghost-like noises saying "Clyyyde Waaambaach. Yooour tiime is uuup". Scared the poor guy silly. Bill O'Connor stole Police Chief Gendron's car out of his garage one night, while the chief was asleep in the house. (To the great amusement of the town.) No one knew who did it for several days, until Bill started flashing a badge around high school. He didn't even come close to getting away with it. |