by Ric Carter
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MODULES: |
Saturday 6 May 2000 - Tempiute, NVAnother rule of conspiracy theorizing: It's not necessary to show that the conspiracy is effective, competant - merely argue that a conspiracy exists. Since people are always plotting things, of course there are cosnpiracies - *everyone* conspires. So, ignore the results or lack of results of the conspiracy you're theorizing about - only push its existence, not its functionality. See the Conspiracy Theory Notes If Death Is A Game, These Are The Rules:See the finished version here. - If you time things right, you won't have any money left - you'll die broke, having spent it all just in time to die.- If you've timed it right, you've outlived all your enemies. - If you believe you have an immortal soul, then you should have prepared it to take its next step in the cosmic journey. If you don't believe you have such a soul, or you don't worry about it, then you should have enjoyed life as much as you could until now. With the former, you'll undoubtedly have some regrets, because it's very hard to prepare your soul properly. If the latter, you should have no regrets, and can go with a clear conscience [with a hearty "kiss my ass!"] - If you've accumulaed a lot of power and wealth, you can afford to have a vast monument built, and even have saves and animals and goods buried with you. If you haven't accumulated such, then your disposal can be simple and clean. - If your death is due to some infectious disease, then hopefully you've spread it around to as many others as possible, so they too can join you in death. Why be lonely in death? - If your mind was controlled by electromagnetic beams, coded messages or alien implants, then death should be a welcome relief. Otherwise, you'll probably kinda wish you weren't dying. But since at this point humanity hasn't quite conquered death yet, ya just gotta go with the flow. - If you see life as being a vast game, then death is your finl move - CHECKMATE - you win! |
Saturday 6 May 2000, approaching Warm Springs
More rules for, IF DEATH IS A GAME, HERE ARE THE RULES: - If you face death at the hands of enemy forces, only tell them your name, rank and serial number. - If you face death at the hands of your alien abductors, try to resist that probe until the very end. - If you face death at the hands, or paws [hooves], or whatever, of range cattle hoping to be mutilated, that have wandered out in the middle of the Extraterrestrial Highway while you speed along on your escape from Area51, slow down - they have the right-of-way. - If you face death at the hands of corporate conspirators, relax! They really only want your money, not your life. - If you face death at the hands of a crazed drunk driver rushing headlong towards you in the fast lane, relax again - he has your number, you're doomed! - If you face death at the hands of subliminal persuaders, RESIST! Put down that McFood! You don't HAVE to fatten yourself, preparing yourself for harvest by the aliens! - And if you face death from any other source, well, you probably deserve it. Too bad. (Those thoughts come on Saturday the 6th of May at 6 in the evening cruising out of Railroad Valley [which never had a railroad] into Warm Springs, Nevada.) |
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Next - THE BORG GAME: If Resistance Is Futile, Here Are The Rules. - You WILL no longer suffer from self-doubt, self-pity, demoralization, feelings of inadequacy, nervousness, fear, hunger, thirst, pain, horniness, or fatigue; these are prohibited/impossible. - Your physical health WILL be excellent. Your body WILL be fine-tuned. You WILL be the MOST that you can be - no more, no less. - You WILL no longer be lonely, ever. You WILL be assimilated into a VAST personality with many facets and extrusions. Every thought in your head WILL also be in the head of every other Borg element. Every thought in their heads WILL be in yours also. You ARE they. They ARE you. I AM he as you ARE he as you ARE me and we ARE all together, goo-goo-g'joob! - Being integrated into a hive-mind like the Borg collective WILL fill you with a sense of purpose, dedication, knowing exactly what you're doing and why, where you are now, and where you're going next. - You WILL never feel disillusioned, abandoned, bereft, betrayed - you CANNOT leave the Borg, and the Borg CANNOT leave you. - You WILL never have to say "I'm sorry" or "have a nice day". (For an element of a hive-mind like the Borg Collective, *every* day is a nice day. It's mandatory.) - You WILL never have to say "Please", "thank you" or "you're welcome" - the Borg Collective communicates via directives, not requests and social niceties. - Being an element of the Borg Collective, you WILL always know precisely what is expected of you. Your directions WILL be clear. - There WILL be no pain, no punishment, no penal facilities, no dissuasion. You WILL find being Borg to be a positive experience. You WILL not have negative experiences. - You WILL never "fly off the handle", lose control, suffer emotional breakdown, feel paranoic or claustrophobic or agoraphobic or any other phobias or mental pathologies. You WILL always be totally in control; it's mandatory. You ARE the Borg Collective! - So: How to become Borg? It's simple: SUBMIT! The necessary electronic, neural, chemical and biological implants WILL be inserted into you in a totally painless procedure. - You need not seek out the Borg Collective in order to join - we will come to YOU. - Do NOT fear, do NOT run, do NOT resist. Resistance is futile. You WILL be assimilated. Thank you for your attention.
(6:15 [pm], Warm Springs, Nevada) |
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If Alien Abduction Is A Game, Here Are The Rules: - Prior to starting play of the Alien Abduction Game, you should famialiarize yourself with all the rules and regulations of play, all your possible purposes and moves and options. - There are five sets of possible Players of the Game: aliens, human victims, govt agents, conspiracy theorists, and media members. - Any number of players may participate - there may be as many aliens, human victims etc as are available in the neighborhood. PURPOSES OF PLAY. - The purpose of the Game varies from Player to Player. - If you are an alien, your purpose is to abduct and gain control of humans. - If you are a human victim, your purpose is to avoid being abducted or to handle the consequences of abduction. - If you are a govt agent, your purpose is to cover-up any abductions, and your govt's involvement with the aliens. - If you are a conspiracy theorist, your purpose is to expose the abductions and the govt coverups and involvement with aliens. - And if you are a member of the media, your purpose varies, depending upon a random throw of the dice whenever it is your turn. -- You may assist in the govt coverups of the abductions and the govt involvement with aliens; -- You may sympathetically tell the story stories of abductees, in order to provide a social benefit to help the victims; -- Or, you may sensationalize the abduction experience in order to maximize audience interest and raise your medium's advertising revenues. POSSIBLE MOVES. - Each player is limited to a specific set of moves. - If you a human victim, your possibilities are: -- If you suspect you are about to be abducted, you may attempt to evade abduction; -- If you are being abducted, you may resist; -- And if you HAVE been abducted, you may choose to: a) do nothing; b) tell the media; c) take self-destructive actions; d) repress the memory; or e) any combination of the above. - If you are the alien, your possible moves are: a) to select a victim; b) to abduct a victim; c) to probe a victim; d) to have intercourse with a victim; e) to experiment upon a victim; and/or f) to (optionally) return a victim to Earth. - If you are a govt agent, your possible moves are: a) to assist the aliens in processing the human victim(s); b) to intimidate the human victim(s); c) to injure or execute the human victim(s); d) to release statements to the press indicating that the human victim(s) is/are unstable and not to be believed; e) to issue statements of denial; or f) to do nothing. - If you are a conspiracy theorist, your possible moves are: a) to interview victim(s); b) to interview any or all of those who may ever have come in contact with the victim; c) to interview other conspiracy theorists; d) to attempt to interview govt agents and/or officials and/or aliens; e) to devise appropriate conspiracy theories; f) to [attempt to] publish your findings, interviews and theories in 1) major media, 2) vanity media, and/or the Internet; g) viciously attack anyone who doesn't totally agree with you; or h) get drunk/drugged and do nothing. - If you are a media player [member], your possible moves are: a)to interview victims and/or their families/associates and/or govt agents/officals and/or conspiracy theorists and/or other media members and/or scholars/flacks/debunkers/authors/consultants/'experts'; b) to write stories about the abduction experience; c) to kill the story; d) to slant the story 1) against the alleged victim, 2) in sympathy with the alleged victim, 3) to sensationalize the experience, or 4) any combination of the above. (Note: the possible moves of the media player are constrained by the purpose that was selected by random dice roll at the beginning of play prior to the move. MECHANICS OF PLAY. - Before commencing play, all players should throw a roll of the dice; the player getting the highest roll, highest number, the high-roller takes the first move. - Order of play: Players shall make their moves at random - after any Player has made their move, a wheel is spun or dice are tossed to determine the next Player to move. - At their turn, each Player must select just one move from their set of possibilities. Only one move per turn is permitted. Moves may be combined if no other Player detects the combination. - At any time, a Player may throw snake-eyes, say "I Convert!" aloud or silently, and become another sort [type/class] of Player. Thus, any human victim may be come an alien, any conspiracy theorist may become a govt agent, etc. In fact, it is not even necessary for this to be done publically - you may Convert in secret, so that no other Players may know your true current role. SCORING AND WINNING. - At each play, the success or failure of a Player's move shall be determined by the simple flip of a coin: Heads, I win; Tails, you lose. - Each Player shall keep a running tally of the points accrued in the Game by themselves and all other Players; shall keep that tally secret, telling no-one else what that their tally is; and will not compare their tally with any others, so that no Player may purport to have a validated 'official' score of the game. - Disputes over scoring shall be resolved by the Players bellowing at each other until one tires of the dispute and concedes victory to the other(s). - Play continues until all Players have converted to some other type of Player, and/or they and the public audience, if any lose interest. - The Winner shall be considered to be the Player with the highest talley of points after any/all disputes have been resolved by the method above. Thank you for playing the Alien Abduction Game. |
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Back at the access road to the Tonopah Test Range, taking a few more pictures in different light, 7 o'clock Saturday night. Very cloudy. A note on Conspiracy Theories [include this in the guidelines - under Tactics, not Strategy] - It can be useful to plot the players in a conspiracy by noting some phenomena, by noting who suffers and who benefits, or at least, who *doesn't* suffer. So for instance: AIDS. If we accept that the spread of AIDS is the result of a conspiracy, then we look ask: who benefits, who suffers, who doesn't suffer? We see that AIDS first struck gay male communities in the US and Western Europe; therefore it was a plot against gay males. But wait! It quickly spread throughout the rest of the world, and the transmission is primarily heterosexual. Um the vast majority of AIDS sufferers these days are 3rd-world women, and children. But so are gay males, and 3rd-world heterosexual males and females, are being decimated by AIDS; but one population that ISN'T, are 1st-world Lesbians. Therefore, AIDS is a Western Lesbian conspiracy! It's obvious. By using this kind of logic, looking at any phenomena, see who doesn't suffer as much, it's very easy to pinpoint the actors, the driving forces, the controllers of any conspiracy. Now, rational observers may note the absurdity of this kind of logic, but such commentators are merely pawns of the conspiracy themselves; they're spin-doctors, apologists, flacks. Ignore them. Or attack them. Or call for their utter destruction by the awakened victims of the conspiracy. Oh yes, there's a certain standard of language you must maintain in promoting conspiracy theories. Identify a person or entity, some sort of entity, identify their relation[ship] to the conspiracy by saying it MAY be so. This person MAY be an evil malefactor... a mind-control victim, et cetera. And from then on, speak as though that is a FACT. |
Sunday, 7 May 2000, east side of Tonopah NVThat earlier guide should be titled DOs AND DON'Ts FOR DIVINE DEITIES [DISTURBED] — See the finished version here. IF PARANORMAL INVESTIGATION IS A GAME, HERE ARE THE RULES:See the finished version here. The Paranormal Investigation Game has many facets, many areas of play, [a near-infinitude of questions to probe. That these areas have been probed for centuries without returning any solid results, shouldn't disturb you - the quest IS vital. With so much ground to cover, major resources may be needed, and many props may be required. Depending on the area of the paranormal you are going to investigate, you may need: a pair of dice, for investigating telekinesis and modified probability; a set of Rhine cards, for investigating-exploring telepathy, mind-reading, etc; brain-wave monitors; notepads; pencils; many, many erasers; a calculator; statistical tables; a computer with access to the Internet; stroboscope; tachistoscope; pinhole camera; high-speed optical camera; forks and spoons; polygraph; analog and/or digital tape (audio/video) and data recorders; decks of playing cards and Tarot cards; astrological tables; kabbalistic diagrams; alchemical formulae and apparatus; spectrometer; kirlian photography apparatus; et al. The list of possible props is nearly endless. The more hardware, the better - potential supporters are impressed by the necessary infrastructure. And if you can obtain government or corporate or collegiate or other organizational funding, sufficient grants will allow you to continue your research indefinately, regardless of results. But all those props, although pleasant to have around [especially when dazzling the dollar- providers] are really irrelevant to parapsychological, uh paranormal research. What's important is adherance to the simple rules of this game. - The first rule is: never define too closely just what it is that you're looking for. If your investigation was clearly delineated, you would/may soon hit the bounds of exploration and have no-where else to go. Leave your subject fuzzy, and you can go anywhere. But the OPPOSITE of this rule is also operative: select a specific goal, a definite answer that your're seeking, and pursue it no matter the lack of results. Think up some excuses for why your work failed, then repeat it endlessly, with minor variations. Never succumb to reality. - The next, and most important rule: do NOT allow critical scrutiny of your research. It's well-known that critical scrutiny of paranormal research skews the results towards failure, dead-ends the investigation, deadens all the activities and abilities you're searching for. There is nothing like a skeptical inquirer to scare away ghosts, deafen telepaths, blind clairboyants, immobilize telekinetics and teleporters, short-circuit perpetual-motion and free-energy devices, drive away aliens, scatter spirits and demons and genies and angels and kobolds and elves and sprites and the like. - Third: it is very important that you keep detailed statistics statistical records of your investigations, and perform the most complicated statistical analyses possible on your data. Such analyses will allow you to find ANY trend you could possibly want in your data! And remember that a strong negative finding, is actually a strong POSITIVE finding, mirrored! - Next: when publishing your findings, avoid peer-reviewed journals like the PLAGUE! Peer review, like skeptical inquiry, will blunt the thrust of your investigation, will turn it aside, will deaden it. Only YOU know what you are really searching for; anyone else diddling with your data will only mess it up. - Next: publish the results of your studies in any and every medium possible. Start your own Website or several Websites to post your announcements-findings-arguments-denunciations-jabs, echoed on every conceivable elist and newsgroup. Get into every possible un-peer-reviewed journal, magazine, newspaper, tabloid; into any periodiacal, in any country, in any language, no matter how obscure. - And: make sure that you cite all relevant research that has ever appeared in exactly the same kind of publications and the same sources. But to lend an air of authenticity to your citations, you should include every crank letter and caustic attack you can find from reputable scientific journals, or and every negative or otherwise appropriate mention in a column in such a journal, which can be construed and taken out of context to support your findings. Statements by legislators inserted into the CONGRESSIONAL RECORD and similar archives may serve the same purpose. - Next: you should welcome the expected/inevitable criticism of your work by those who just don't understand what you're doing, or who are trying to cover-up The Truth in your field, or who are just the fossilized dinosaurs lumbering around the ossified scientific establishment, resistant to all challenges to their orthodoxies, who have not the vision of you and your research, and that of your colleagues. Welcome their criticism; for then you can cite their negative responses in your future publications, and on your Website, showing that your work is estimable enough to deserve their attention, the attention of your critics. If you can rate negative comments published in the leading mainstream scientific journals and other major periodicals you can easily obtain guest-spots on major television and radio talk-shows. - Remember: the point of your research and your publications is NOT to further human knowledge in areas paranormal; but to gain publicity and funding for yourself - notoriety, so you can sell more copies of your book-videotape-script, be interviewed and appear on more'n'more radio and TV shows, hit the paranormal lecture circuit, and become a Highly Esteemed Personality. THE ABOVE RULES apply to active workers in paranormal investigations - the researchers themselves and their assistants and subjects. Other rules apply to other players in the Paranormal Research Game - the skeptics, publishers, critics, consultants, mavens, experts, and fan clubs. To be continued... (Sunday afternoon, the 7th of May, 2:20, around Manhattan, Nevada, in the Great Smokey Valley) |
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IF MENTAL MASTURBATION IS A GAME, HERE ARE THE RULES... IF THEOLOGY IS A GAME... IF FUTUROLOGY IS A GAME... IF PHRENOLOGY IS A GAME... IF LOBOTOMY IS A GAME... If UFOlogy is a game... (see the finished version here) Well let's see, a UFOlogy card game could have pictures of a number of famous (or infamous) UFOs, aliens, UFOlogists, maps of sites where UFOs have been allegedly seen (those maps would just be reduced pages from the UFO atlas I'm going to produce someday)... um, the cards would also have pictures of writers on UFOlogical subjects and sci-fi scribes and other personalities involved in the Game - Art Bell, Whitley Streiber, Ed Mitchell, L.Ron Hubbard. Such a card deck could be done either as standard playing cards, or tarot cards, or a different type of symbology altogether. OK, the UFOlogy Game - all the cards are overprinted with mysterious symbols; there are no translations of these symbols. At each turn players may draw and discard cards, trade cards with each other, or offer to buy or sell cards... The object of the game is attain [obtain] the correct set of symbols/cards that will bring the Space Brothers into the presence of the players, thense to dispense with cosmic wisdom / wealth / wankers / whatever. No one knows what that correct sequence is. Or if they do know, they aren't talking. And if they talk, they don't know. OK, this isn't really IF UFOLOGY IS A GAME, THESE ARE THE RULES, this is THE UFOLOGY GAME, and it's just a... card game. |
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Um, we could have an ETERNAL DAMNATION GAME (see the finished version here and another version here). It looks a lot like Monopoly. GO TO HELL, GO DIRECTLY TO HELL... uh instead of dealing with dollars, we could deal in indulgences... the sites [streets] on the board are holy shrines, and you try to make pilgrimages, and each time you make a pilgrimage to a new shrine, you pick up a token... or, you pay, and you place a token on the shrine. The object would be to place, uh you have to, OK, so you HAVE money to buy access. The Community Chest cards, those would be indulgences. The Chance cards, those would be directions to take you to various places. The utilities and railroads are all various houses of sin, sites of sin. GO TO HELL means you lose or at least are out of play for a turn, although a GET OUT OF HELL FREE card or enough indulgence will keep you out of Hell. So when you pass GO you collect money, money which you will then use to buy tokens, shrine tokens, and indulgences. Altho shrine tokens, those are ADMITTANCE tokens - gotta pay to enter each shrine. If you've already landed on a shrine, you can't place another token there and you don't have to pay for re-admittance. But, if for the first time, you reach a shrine which is in a set [color-group] and another player already has their tokens on all the shrines in that set, then before you can place your token there, you also have to give that player a token. This represents your contribution to that player's holy order. OK, so this isn't THE ETERNAL DAMNATION GAME, it's DAMNATION AND SALVATION. No, it's THEOPOLY. Whoever gets their tokens on ALL the shrines on the board, gets salvation. Um let's see, you should also have to pay to go to the sin sites - if you land on a sin site, then one of your tokens goes back to the pot [you must select a token to remove from one shrine]. The Community Chest sites should be called GRACE. The Chance cards can be called CHANTS/CHANCE. The utilities and railroads should be whorehouses, opium dens / crack houses, gambling hells, and videogame parlors. The tokens could be colored or lettered or numbered stones or die-cut cardboard. Could call the game THEOLOGY - The Game Of Damnation and Salvation. No, it's THEOPOLY. OK, the tokens are free, but ya hafta pay to get into shrines, and ya hafta pay players who've hit all the shrines in a group before you have. Some shrines are holier than others, and you hafta pay more to get into them. So that this isn't too sectarian, I'll name the shrines after holy places of all the religions I can think of. And whenever you have visited all the shrines in a set, you get an extra indulgence. (OK, that's about enough of THAT game. It's 4 o'clock, Sunday afternoon, I'm just leaving Round Mountain, Nevada, a desolate, bleak little mining town up agains some snowy, cold-looking mountains. Elevation around 6200, sez my altimeter.) Jump to Further Game Notes See the Games Notes Index |
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Ric Carter, ric@sonic.net, www.sonic.net/~ric, copyright © by OTRSS