MAYA-HO DOS!
To Central America, 2005

a Journey Across Mexico and Beyond;
or, Driving Through Central America
With the CHECK ENGINE Light On
by Ric Carter

Observations & Opinions
Probably about this trip.

[transcribed journal notes — slightly corrected & expanded & hand-coded — likely full of typos & errors & ommisions & wavering tenses & odd vague references & snide personal opinions & asides of no interest to anyone at all]


HOW TO DRIVE ACROSS LATIN AMERICA (or anywhere) ON US$48 A DAY:

It's easy. Just count your money, count the number of days you'll be gone, and divide one by the other to compute your daily budget. Ours is $48/day for six months; you do the math.

Now start moving around, and keep track of EVERY DAMN buck or peso or quetzale or lempira you spend. Every day or week or so, see how your expenses match your budget. When they get out of whack, STOP. Stay someplace cheap. Don't eat out or buy goodies or take guided tours.

Then when your average daily expense gets back on track with your budget, you can start rolling again, until the next time you go TILT. There, wasn't that simple? We can almost follow this prescription ourselves.



UPDATE: HOW TO TRAVEL NORTH AMERICA (or anywhere) ON US$35 A DAY:

Again, it's easy, if sometimes tedious. Heed the above instructions. Then go camping or campering a lot, staying in free sites on public lands. Cook your own food. Go low and slow. Stop and smell the sagebrush or poison oak or whatever.

The trick is to calculate your daily budget, then break your time down into blocks to expend that budget. So maybe figure that a week at US$35/day = $245. If you splurge on $10/day for food, that leaves $175 for gas and expenses. At US$3.00/gallon for gas (the new reality) you can buy 50 gallons of gas and have $25 left over. So, in that week you can travel as far as 50 gallons will get you, and then you'll stop and camp and relax for a few days.

If your goal is to actually get somewhere, you can exceed those guidelines for a couple time blocks, but then you must stop and let the budget catch up with you. Failure to do so will imperil your fiscal health. Or maybe the weather will catch up with you first. Oops.

These stops are your opportunity to read, write, draw, sculpt, sleep, meditate, poke around on foot or bike or skateboard, swim, sunbathe, fish or hunt or gather berries, produce movies or soundtracks on your laptop, knit your chihuahua a body sweater, listen to (or dictate) instructional tapes, scheme, whatever you've been dreaming of.

All the above assumes that your money is worth more than your time. If not, you might as well take that vacation package you've always dreamed of. Have fun.



SURVIVAL, DOGS AND DRIVERS:

In the Latino regions we've visited, the survival of both street dogs and highway drivers seems to be a strictly Darwinian process. The imprudent, uncautious, unobservant, unlucky and extrememly annoying members of both groups are quickly weeded out. Highway regulations are few and rarely enforced, and NO DOGS signs are not to be seen. Both may engage in orgies in the roads... hmm, maybe I'm drawing the parallels too closely. Whatever.

But here's what THE PEOPLE'S GUIDE TO MEXICO says about some drivers:

"Many common driving hazards and annoyances found in the U.S. are also [in Mexico], though usually in a slightly altered form. The omnipresent teenager, for example, hunched birdlike behind the wheel of his 400-hp candy-colored, air-foiled Supercharger, passes you dangerously close at 140 mph as he calmly munches a DoubleBurger and squeezes an annoying pimple.

"In Mexico he's still the same basic teenager, apparently oblivious to other traffic, mesmerized by the blaring radio and the dangling ornaments that festoon mirrors and knobs. But there is one difference: he's behind the wheel of a hurtling semi-truckload of bananas. And he's passing you on a blind mountain curve. You glance over, afraid to imagine what is about to happen. He grins, flashes a peace sign and cuts you off as he swerves to miss an oncoming bus."

The lucky may survive for some time, maybe even long enough to breed. Maybe.

I mentioned in an earlier report that too many signs and rules force drivers to pay attention to the signs and rules rather than to the road. Normal driving practices here would be considered criminally reckless in the states; yet (with the notable exception of Guatemala City, which REALLY needs a few freeways) traffic manages to slip by at a fairly rapid rate with relatively few collisions.

USAnians live in a police state where icy-visaged paramilitaries maintain a steel-cold grip on the roads. In contrast, sez the PEOPLE'S GUIDE, "Mexico seems to rely principally on the Law of Averages and the Grim Reaper to control drivers on its highways." Have we traded a bit of freedom for the promise of bit of a security, and thus deserve and receive neither?

I haven't noticed many dogcatchers down here either. Draw your own conclusions.




INSIDE MAYAN LANGUAGES:

In the town of Copan Ruinas is a small museum of Mayan culture. Materials there speak of 28 Mayan languages (or 22 or 32 or 38, depending on various experts), all decended from the Royal tongue of classical-imperial days. The tongue spoken around Copan is said to be the closest to that ancient root. True, or local boosting?

Those 28 (or whatever) languages aren't just dialects; they're as distinct as Greek and German. Pedro from Chichi is Quiche. When he took us to the Ixchil triangle, he could only speak to locals in Spanish. "I don't know what they're saying; it's all Greek to me," he said, referring to the differnces between Quiche and Ixchil.

Materials in the musuem said that only five human cultures have independently developed writing: the Sumerians, Egyptians, Haruppans (in Anatolia), Chinese and Mayans. Thus, written language is no small achievement. Try to create a new one, eh? (Cf. Klingon.)

Post-classical Mayas (except for a VERY small educated minority) seem to have been mostly illiterate (ditto in all those other cultures too), which may be related to the fragmentation of Maya languages. When Latin evolved into Italian, French, Spanish, Romansch, Provencal, et al, each language had both a written literature, and connections to written Latin literature. I don't think those 22/28/32/38/?? Maya dialects possessed written literatures. The Romance languages seem less fragmented than Mayan tongues.

But I'm not a linguist, and I haven't read anything else about this lately. So sue me.




INSIDE ROADSIDE CULTURE:

As we roll along we see life lived beside the roads, people working and walking and waiting, playing and selling and running, being there. Maureen says it's like this in Ireland too, and I recall the same from the Amalfi coast of southern Italy. We really like seeing all these different peoples and different ways of life.

This is external life, outside life, not like the bare roads (many without sidewalks or roadside paths) of US suburbia. Outside of USAnian urban cores, people stay inside their cars and homes and offices. Children are not outside — they may be kidnapped! Adults are not outside — they may be robbed! Pets are not outside — they may be squished!

Margaret in Antigua noted that USAnian media foster a climate of fear. Broadcasts, billboards, publications, milk cartons, all portray an environment of extreme risks and vicious predators — and then sell the means of protection. That's the basis of modern advertising, of course: manufacture a need, and fill it. Before commercial deodorants existed, B.O. was not a problem. And do pet psychiatrists really fill a vital niche?

Now, vicious predators (but not satanic ritual slayers) DO exist, but probably not in overwhelming numbers. And many armpits DO stink, and some dogs ARE psychotic. Some folks DO have the resources to purchase solutions to percieved problems. And some states levy huge taxes (or go into debt) to buy such relief. Think about how much good this does.

But those safe, sanitized cultures are boring. Try to take a scenic tour of a typical USAnian suburb or especially a gated community. Try to strike up a conversation with anyone. Try to take pictures. Try to get anyone interested in those pictures. Try to keep yourself interested. Good luck.

Meanwhile, we're having a great time watching people live their lives, what we can see from the road. (Note: some of the above was cribbed from Maureen.)



ADVENTURES IN TRAVEL:

Is this an Adventure? Are we enduring Adventures In Travel? We have a favorite catch-phrase, Adventures In (Whatever). Here is its origin:

Some decades ago we drove the high wild Great Basin plains of south-central Oregon, eighty or a hundred or so miles east of the Cascade Range and Crater Lake. Across the wide shallow interior valley of the Sprague and/or Williamson rivers, fifty miles wide and long, rimmed with far blue mountains, topped with fat blue sky and thin white clouds. In the center of all this empty rangeland, a Y-intersection of two-lane roads. And just off the Y, the shattered total wreck of a U-Haul trailer, only the rear panel being somewhat intact, showing the painted logo and a slogan: ADVENTURES IN MOVING.

For many years now, this has remained emblematic for us. Adventure equals Disaster. One may experience such Adventures in many realms of life: Adventures in Love, in Work, in whatever. Remember, "May you live in exciting times" is a Chinese curse. Excitement and adventure mean uncertainty and risk. Such is life. Bring it on!



CAPITALISM Au-Go-Go!

USAnians may think their nation is the epitome of free enterprise and laizes-faire capitalism, if they think about it at all. That's a load of arrogant crap. Compared to the Latin American economic scene we've observed, Murkan business is rigidly constrained and straight-jacketed, just as personal liberties are severely curtailed (in the name of Freedom, yeah).

The streets of every Mexican and Guatemalan and Honduran city and town and village we've seen are strewn with small businessfolk, vendors and formal and informal shops in quantities that would stagger the Yankee imagination. Not just the street markets, but everywhere; at any speed bump or in any public square or stairway or building nook or doorway, there's somebody selling some product or service.

On busy business blocks, the corners and spaces between stores are crowded with vendors. Yes, the structure of those business blocks is not the same as in the US, where full-length glass storefronts predominate. Here you're more likely to see doorways leading into shops, separated by stretches of bare wall. Someone setting up their stand between business entrances in the states will quickly draw the ire of shopkeepers, and a rapid eviction by the gendarmes. And vendors at corners or along the edges of sidewalks are ousted for obstructing pedestrian traffic, if any.

And yes, the geography of USAnian retailing is different. Except in certain urban cores, there are very few pedestrian-oriented public shopping zones, just malls and minimalls and big-box ghettos, private enclaves that must be driven to and that allow no unauthorized free-enterprise incursions into their masses of same-same retailers.

Some districts in some US cities are not so tightly constrained (I'm thinking especially of areas in New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco) yet the street and shop merchants are locked in continuous contentious warfare. And here, vendors even come into eateries to peddle their wares to seated customers. Try walking into a stateside Dennys or McFood outlet or cafe to sell your baubles, eh? How quickly would you be arrested for trespassing?

That last example inspired this essay. I wish someone would explain to me why Latin American eateries are so free in allowing the intrusion of vendors, which in the states would be considered a criminal and spriritual violation of the sacredness of private property. Does anyone have a clue? Please help me.

My fellow Murkans: If you want to see free enterprise in action, step away from your Wallys and Wendys and HomeDespots and MegaMalls and McMerchants; head south of the border, and shop on the streets. It's messy and noisy and liberating and frightening and cheaper. Maybe you'll run right back home, back where all prices are marked and non-negotiable, where all competition is strictly controlled by ordinance, where all your choices are carefully screened and ordered and databased. It's so much more comfortable at home. Take it easy.

Then consider that Americans are only rich because they charge each other so much. (While the Swiss are rich because they charge everybody else so much — but that's another rant.)



TARAHUMARA-RARAMURI CRAFTS:

  • * Small pottery is roughly utilitarian and roughly painted, not quite tempting enough.
  • * Larger ollas (in various shades) are often twined with leather straps and can look OK.
  • * Some small baskets are finely made and should be collected; larger baskets are often rough or slapdash.
  • * Cute little wood dolls, figures in Raramuri garb — eh.
  • * Small slabs of carved bark, some with figures and spoon ends, some with basic scenes — I like the latter.
  • * White-wood fiddles, from turista to fine. And what would I do with one?
  • * Drums large and small, also from crappy to fine, some with stained or painted figures or faces or scenes.
  • * Carved wood rosaries, for those who care.
  • * Seed and bead necklaces, some with tiny drums or gourds or pots and stuff.
  • * Bright little colorful woven wrist straps, for those who want to give a kid a peso.
  • * Heavy and clumsy bows'n'arrows.
  • * Those bright long dresses, made of non-local cloth.

(The TARAHUMARA-RARAMURI are indigenous people of the Copper Canyon / Barrancas del Cobre region of northwest Mexico)



REPORT to SKEPTICHAT eLIST has moved — click here

See BLACK MAGICK in MEXICOclick here
See NATIVE AMERICAN NAMESclick here
See FRANCIS BACON on TRAVELclick here
See PILGRIMAGE FOR MORONSclick here
See INNER-SPACE EXPLORATIONclick here
See STAGECOACH RIDERS TIPSclick here



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