-- STATESIDE --
SADDLE UP, BOYS - [slow cowboy waltz]
4 August 2005 - Rye Patch, NV
In the wide open spaces
There ain't many places
To buy cappuccino whenever you want to
So saddle up, boys, and ride into town
This lack of caffeine is gettin' me down
-
Out here in the desert
Ya can't get fresh yoghurt
Or blue-green algae in yer soya milkshake
So saddle up, boys, and ride into town
This lack of nutrition is gettin' me down
-
When yer trapped in a sandstorm
Ya can't dig up earthworms
To satisfy yer hunger for invertebrate meat
So saddle up, boys, and ride into town
This processed-food fare is gettin' me down
This processed-food fare is gettin' me dow-ow-own
DESERT HAIKU FEVER - 5 August 2005
from Orevada NV to Jordan Ferry OR
clouds over caprock endless asphalt lines
desert mountains blue and gray painted like an old harlot
sagebrush and dry grass on another world
Indian casino mockingbird on fence
on barren reservation? watching desert travelers
not in Nevada! like the bugs we are
a duststorm hazard stone fence posts - some
deer and bull signs full of holes relative permanance in
cattle grazing sage erosive sun and wind
puffy heat clouds ignore us nothing moves here now
cast their shadows on wait until nightfall
ravens in the hills scurrying & life & death
thin relics of law into southeast Oregon
barb-wire fences line the roads pronghorn by the road
keeping what from where? getting a suntan
no aliens, no robots, thunderhead up north
no reptilioids solitary doom in a
just white line fever lonely pale blue sky
old lava flow scorpions dance with
carved into black ugliness tarantulas, horned devils
by a vanished rain and vinegaroons
mesas, sand dunes, across the purple valley
hot burning rock piles, but beyond the blue horizon
it's no roadrunner cartoon more mountains
continental climate? dry ravine with carved hoodoos
air-conditioned nightmare? walk under the beetling rim
or the last frontier? lizard bait
sunflower tries to bloom sun straight overhead
but the sky is too heavy shortest possible shadows
sink back down phone poles start to sway
no gila monsters Lewis and Clark came this
no cactus, no sombreros way long ago, and left
flying in the wind as soon as they could
roadways rutted like
wrinkles on the face of an
old worried planet
!MADRE DE DIOS! (Grab Another Handful)
5 August 2005 - Lochsa River ID
You look into the sun
And you blow away with the dust
And you grab a handful of wasabe peas
And you shove'em in your mouth
And you scream,
"!Madre de Dios! This shit is hot!"
And you fan your sweating face
Then you grab another handful
And go right back to that place
-
You fall right off the moon
And you blow away in space
And you grab a handful of mescaline
And you shove it in your mouth
And you scream,
"!Madre de Dios! This shit is wild!"
And you fan your steaming brain
Then you grab another handful
And go right back there again
-
You stare right up at the stars
And you shrivel like an insect
Then you grab a handful of reality
And you shove it down your throat
And you scream,
"!Madre de Dios! What have I done?!"
And your head turns inside out
Then you grab another handful
'Cause your really have no doubt
-
[instrumental]
Then you grab another handful
And your secrets all leak out
Then you grab another handful
'Cause your really have no doubt
Then you grab another handful
And your genome starts to shout
Then you grab another handful
'Cause your really have no doubt
-- ALBERTA --
I WAS THINKING OF YOU - [waltz]
11 August 2005 - Castle Mtn AB
I was out earning a living
and I was thinking of you
I was out chasing the herds
of bison and moose and elk
and antelope and caribou
And I was out running, running
chasing them over a cliff
Where they'd fly and fall and
tumble and hit the rocks and
they'd get all dead and stiff
But no matter what I had to do
I was still thinking of you
-
I was sweating and puking
and I was thinking of you
I was chasing the herds
so far and so long that
I nearly melted into grey goo
Then I had to run down below
and join in the slaughter
And finish them off so they
couldn't run off and maybe
trample our son and our daughter
But eventually the killing was thru
and I was still thinking of you
-
They call it a buffalo run
but it was more than that
I ran too so me and you and
everyone could feast on
fresh brain and fat
Nest time it'll be much harder
'Cause I'll hafta run after
those damn big cats
Only a few of us can try
to run down a couger
But no matter what I have to do
I will still be thinking of you
B4 - [slow moody jazz]
11 August 2005 - Castle Mtn AB
Andrea didn't remember him
He couldn't really blame her
It's been nearly 20 years
Back when they both were thin
B4 hamburgers
-
He looked into Andrea's eyes
And remenbered their nights
Crazy and drunk by candlelight
Back when they both could fly
B4 animal rights
-
Andrea didn't say a word
As he closed his arms around her
And softly bit her arms and neck
And took back what he'd given her
B4 transfusions
HOW LONG? - [harmonica blues]
11 August 2005 - Castle Mtn AB
How long ya gonna keep drivin'?
How long ya gonna keep drivin'?
How long ya gonna keep drivin'?
Until the night is gone
-
How far we goin'? How far we goin'?
How far we goin'? To the edge of town
-
How long we gonna keep killin'?
How long we gonna keep killin'?
How long we gonna keep killin'?
Just until they're all down
-
How many more tomorrows?
How many more tomorrows?
How many more tomorrows?
Oh, just another one
-
Where all the bodies goin'?
Where all the bodies goin'?
Where all the bodies goin'?
Nearly all the way down
-
Why am I still here? Why am I still here?
Why am I still here? 'Cause yer so much fun
-
Ev'rything gonna be alright?
Ev'rything gonna be alright?
Ev'rything gonna be alright?
Ain't you the hopeful one
-
How's the story endin'?
How's the story endin'?
How's the story endin'?
Only with a gun
Only with a gun
Only with a gun
Only with a gun
Here and Now - [fast folk-rock]
13 August 2005 - Wilcox Creek AB
She walked down the lonely highway
Happy as a caped crusader
Juicy as a living desert
Noisy as a jeep
She laughed out loud, clapped her
Lizard hands together, laughed again
No lies to tell
No promises to keep
-
[chorus:]
And so, she's quoting Nietzche
And so, she's watching sunspots
And so, she's molding futures
Here and now
-
A truck comes near, she disappears
Like smoke clouds on a rainy day
And skates across the ice field
Like a polar bear at play
Her tangering smile hangs beside
The sun while she's looking down
From glacier-scoured boulders
Speeding to the ground [chorus]
-
She's soaking in a hot springs and
She's steaming, she's not dreaming
Floating like a marshmallow on
Hell's best cup of cocoa
You'll never catch her, never find her
Just a wolverine reminder
Finding footprints in the snow
No matter where you go [chorus]
-
[instrumental]
You's sleeping in a fiery bed and
She's drifting like dust in your nose
And you feel her hands' hidden patterns
And maybe perhaps you know [chorus]
Little Billy - [nursery rhyme]
13 August 2005 - Wilcox Creek AB
Little Billy stood on tiptoes
Peered over the window sill
Watched the adults having fun
And memorized for blackmail
-
[chorus:] Little Bill-lee, Little Bill-ee...
-
Little Billy skipped thru high school
Never made the girlies drool
Power is the best aphrodisiac
Stuff it in your rucksack [chorus]
-
Little Billy's very smart
They say he has a tungsten heart
Someday he'll run a corporation
And maybe control some nations [chorus]
-
Little Billy isn't perfect but
Wealth and power obscure all flaws
Don't worry about heaven or hell
Don't even stop to pause [chorus]
Evolution Rag - [jaunty piano rag]
13 August 2005 - Columbia Icefield AB
All the tired dinosaurs are watching the skies
Watching the aeons go by
All the little mammals are gnawing their eggs
Working their hairy little legs
All the giant redwoods are dreaming slowly
Never in much of a hurry
-
[chorus:]
Who's in a hurry? What, me worry?
Who's making curry? What, me worry?
-
Some of the plants are growing seeds
Fast becoming weeds
Most of the animals hang 'round the tar pits
Only a few fall in
Lots of the primates are quickly evolving
' Applied problem-solving [chorus]
-
Human emotions evolve so slow
Gimmee some mo'
Human society evolves fast
Right up your ass
Humans infest the entire planet
It's just another planet [chorus]
IceField Haiku Jam - 13 August 2005
walking towards the Columbia Icefield AB
Walking across an Winds blow off the glaciers
Ancient landscape and Icepicks in my brain
Crushing futures underfoot Only what I deserve
Sun burns down like ice Motorcycle gang
Ice burn up like fire Polite, they're Canadians
Fire tugs me away like wind With muffled exhausts
Fall in a crevasse Tourist bus unloads
Wait until they pull you out Gawkers touch glacier's edge
Have a cup of tea And shout amongst themselves
Icefield isn't far Glacier's not high
Couple of kilometers 'Bout the same as San Cristobal
But straight up, of course But without the heat
River of cold air Maintenance shed
Sweeps down the mountain Let's maintain the glaciers
How can we go with the flow? Don't want them to fall apart
Columbia IceField Blues - [acoustic blues]
13 August 2005 - Columbia Icefield AB
I'm only wearin' some thin old tennis shoes
Yeah, I'm only wearin' some thin old tennis shoes
Now Lord I got those Columbia IceField blues
-
That mighty glacier, it's might cold there on the ground
Oh that mighty glacier, it's might cold there on the ground
That old Columbia IceField, it's just tryin' to lay me down
-
That dirty old glacier, it's all covered with dirt and crud
That old dirty glacier, it's just smeared down with dirt & crud
And now it really spits out some really frozen glacier mud
-
[bridge:]
Well you can fall in, and you can fall off
And you can get yourself a terrible cough
And you can be the Iceman, they'll find ya someday
Long long long after all yer family's passed away
[instrumental]
-
You get under that glacier, don't you know you gonna die
If you get under that glacier, don't you know you gonna die
That Columbia IceField, it never even has to try
-
[repeat first verse]
Hiking in the Rockies - [folksy doggerel]
13 August 2005 - Columbia Icefield AB
Keep your mouth shut when you're walkin' in the Rockies
The bugs'll fly in, yeah, the bugs'll fly in
Keep your mouth shut unless you need the protein
Walkin' in the nor-thern Rockies
-
Keep your pants up when you're walkin' in the Rockies
The bugs'll crawl in, yeah the bugs'll crawl in
Keep your pants up unless you like the experience
Bugs right up your ass
-
Keep your socks clean when you're hikin' in the Rockies
Yer toes'll rot off, yeah, yer toes'll fall off
Keep your socks clean unless you wanna be a cripple
Hikin' in the nor-thern Rockies
-
Don't act brave if you run into a bear
The bear's gonna win, yeah, the bear's gonna win
Don't act brave unless you wanna get eaten
Hikin' in the nor-thern Rockies
-
Stop by my campfire, have a cuppa tea
Yer always welcome in, yeah yer always welcome in
Stop by my campfire but leave my beans alone
Hikin' in the nor-thern Rockies
-
Keep your shirt on or yer gonna burnt
The suns's gonna scorch, yeah the sun's gonna fry
Keep your shirt on unless you really like pain
Walkin' in the nor-thern Rockies
-
Don't try to run from a hornet's nest
Them hornets is all a lot faster than you
Just stand and take what's a-comin' to you
Hikin' in the nor-thern Rockies
-
[repeat first verse]
Four Strong Musk-Ox - [Four Strong Winds]
15 August 2005 - Smokey River AB
(with apologies to Ian & Sylvia)
(and thanks to Ren & Stimpy)
[chorus:]
Four strong musk-ox that grow lonely
Seven beavers that run high
All those moose that won't wash, come what may.
But my caribou are all gone
And it's time for mushing on
I'll gut salmon if I'm ever back this way.
-
Think I'll hunt bears in Alaska
They're so juicy up in Nome
I got some wolverines I can go to rootin' for
Still I wish you'd shave your muskrats
And watch out for watersnakes
In November y'never know what that might take
[chorus]
-
If I get there before the iceworms
And the beavers aren't too shy
I might build a little cabin from old whale bones.
But the wardens don't dress nice
And my otters are lookin' thin
In November, y'never know where they have been
[chorus]
Tiffany's Got It Made - [moderate techno]
15 August 2005 - Demmitt Alberta
Tiffany's having a day, a day
Tiffany's having a day, or maybe not
She's having a hot day, really hot
She's having a hot, or she's so hot, or maybe not
Tiffany's having a hot, a hot, a hot
Tiffany's having a hot, a hot, a hot
-
Tiffany's having a pain, a pain
Tiffany still has a brain, or maybe not
She's having a brain pain in Spain
She's having a brain pain in the rain
She's having a plain brain, or maybe not
Tiffany's rainy brain pain in Spain, or not
-
Tiffany's having a special package made
Tiffany's nerves are getting rather frayed
She just got paid, then she just got laid
Her brain's decayed but she's not afraid
She told the maid to leave her in the shade
Tiffany's got it made, or not
I Ran Into Kelly - [piano-bar blues]
15 August 2005 - Demmitt Alberta
I ran into Kelly in the Frogtown Bar
I asked her just how she were
She said, "Not too far."
She said, "I bought some boys for the week
They were kinda cute
With big flat frog feet."
She said, "But they were so impetuous
I had to broil them fast
I knew they'd never last."
-
I bought Kelly a drink, her favorite
She pulled her pistol from her shoulder,
Laid it on the barr; she said, "Not too far."
She said, "You tricked me a long time ago
I still remember that show
With all the water, y'know?"
She said, "Don't ever try it again
It worked back then
It won't now, again."
-
I left Kelly with her favorite drink
Dressed in dirty pink
I had to think
One old memory don't make a year
One bad life don't make a play
Not tonight, not today
I'll run into Kelly again, of course
I'll take a camera and a knife
It just might be an exciting night
Games We Play Today? - [fast folky]
17 August 2005 - Demmitt Alberta
Hear the first crunch of the morning
Sniff a first snort of the new day
Catch the first cramp after sunrise
What kinda games will we play today?
What kinda games will we play today?
-
We started off with pee and poo games
Moved right on up to me and you games
Rough games and kind games, sex games and mind games
How many games will we play today?
How many games will we play today?
-
Play chess with the end of the world
Play parcheesi with good hot pills
Play strip poker with little toys
Just who plays with what today?
Just who plays with what today?
-
[bridge:]
Play me like a fiddle, it's not the same
Play games with my face but not my name
Just don't get caught gaming the system
[instrumental]
-
Moving the pieces while they move you
Turning the cards like tomorrow's TV
Rolling the dice and pulling the trigger
What's the last game we'll play today?
What's the last game we'll play today?
My Baby's Got 3 of Everything - [boogie]
17 August 2005 - Demmitt Alberta
One leg on the bed and one leg on the chair
And one leg on the bedroom floor
-
[chorus:]
My baby's got three of everything
My baby's got three of everything
My baby's got three of everything
-
On hand on my arm and one hand on my leg
And one hand just there in between [chorus]
-
One eye on the clock and one eye open wide
And one eye squeezed almost shut [chorus]
-
One tongue in my ear and one tongue in my mouth
And one tongue moving slowly south [chorus]
-
One mind that says YES and one mind that says NO
And one mind that just doesn't really care [chorus]
-
[bridge:]
My baby's so unusual, my baby's so unique
Don't call my baby a mutant, don't call my baby a freak
You just don't know what you're missing
You just don't know what you're missing
You just don't know what you're missing
[instrumental]
-
One tooth pointed forward and one tooth pointed back
And one tooth that just came in real late [chorus]
-
One kidney that works and one kidney that don't
And one kidney that just won't quit [chorus]
Now He's Happy - [bouncy pop]
17 August 2005 - Demmitt Alberta
He went to school and he learnt some words
And now he's educated, now he's educated
-
[chorus:]
He's happy now, he's happy now, he's happy now, he's happy now
He's happy now, he's happy now, he's happy now, he's happy now
-
He went to lunch, he ate some cheeze
And now he's constipated, now he's constipated [chorus]
-
He got into a circle jerk
And now he's masturbated, now he's masturbated [chorus]
-
He voted for some lying swine
Now he's emancipated, now he's emancipated [chorus]
-
His heart just stopped, they hooked him up
Now he's defibrillated, now he's defibrillated [chorus]
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