- G -

Geography: Recording data with or about planet Earth, but only the irrelevant surface features. Much information about Earth's surface may be noted: chemical composition, temperature, pressure, direction, pollution, infestation by small sentient creatures, etc. And creating art with earth is quite pleasurable. From simple mud-writing and mud-drawing, to mud-pies and mud-cassaroles, to mud-castles and mud-symphonies, the possibilities are nearly endless. Some artists mix in animal dung for stability, but you should try this only as taste allows.

Gyrography: Recording data with or about gyroscopes or other fast-spinning objects. What you can record ABOUT spinners includes speed, angle, weight, color, race, etc. What you record WITH them can be quite stunning. For instance, duct-tape a fellow traveler or local person into a symmetrical form, stick a pen or crayon in their mouth, wrap them in rope; give the rope a quick jerk so they start to whirl. Then hold up a canvas or paper for them to mark. Use multiple colors for nice effects.

- H -

Hectography: Recording data with or about people named Hector or Hecate. This is a specialized sub-field of Biography and should only be tried by enthusiasts encased in bubble-wrap who snort aerosol fumes while pledging allegience to NASCAR banners. A Hectograph is also a gelatine pad for printing copies of a writing or drawing, but that's messy.

Heliography: Recording data with or about the Sun. Use of helium is optional as it makes you talk like Donald Duck, aka Paco Pato; this can be useful in some countries. The usual physical data can be gathered and stored. Use of sunlight for recording (especially images) can provide many artistic effects. One may lay objects onto paper, leaves, skin, etc and leave exposed to sunlight for days or weeks, to obtain (gratis, for free) a silhouette that a skilled but expensive artisan would clip out in minutes or secords. This is the low-tech precursor to Photography.

Hierography: Recording data with or about hierophants and hierarchies. When applied to hierophants, this is a subset of Biography. Recording data about hierarchies may be applied to anthropological studies but anthropologists have a bad reputation in many countries. So you should stick to making recordings WITH hierarchies, preferably foreign, and preferably in choral settings of Stravinsky's twelve-tone compositions.

Holagraphy: Recording data with or about Spanish greetings. A simple way to start is to attach a sound recorder to a telephone (for remote work) or lapel microphone (for personal interactions) and call or otherwise greet people: "Hola, como esta usted?" Save their responses, analyze them statistically, then feed them into sound manipulation devices to produce eerie music for background use on Spanish rap records.

Holography: Recording data with or about either holograms, or everything. Holograms require lasers, so put your budget allocation request in early. Holograms can store three-dimensional images in a two-dimensional plane and should be utilized extensively in all sexual inquiries. Recording data about everything requires immense storage capacity and should be only be undertaken after you've recieved a research grant.

Hydrography: Recording data with or about water. Much information about water may be noted: chemical composition, temperature, color, taste, pressure, direction, pollution, infestation by small sentient beings, etc. And writing with water is quite pleasurable. It's easy for men to write their names in the snow but more of a challenge for women. If dogs could write, their autographs would everywhere be visible as well as smellable.

- L -

Lexicography: Recording data with or about groups of words, especially dictionaries. Data about words is usually boring, except to lexicographers. But writing WITH dictionaries is lots of fun. Dip them in inks or paints and use as brushes when scrawling your obscenities on walls, fences, buses, trucks, trains, etc. Always carry dictionaries when you travel.

Lomography: Recording data (especially images) in the style of users of LOMO cameras. This is a specialized subset of Photography. An actual Russian-made LOMO camera is useful but not necessary. Lomography involves near-randomized tripping of a camera shutter such as when dropped or otherwise inadvertantly triggered. In a less random form, a camera is held nonchalantly and triggered without deliberate pointing.

IMPLIED LOMOGRAPHY uses Photography (usually) in less-than-deliberate ways. One approach is merely to take random photos, such by dropping a camera, clicking the shutter haphazardly, setting a timer for repeated spaced exposures, etc. Some Lomos have multiple lenses; such Lomographics can be approximated by arranging adjacent cinema or video frames in rectangles. Be creative. Apply Lomology to sound, xrays, sketches etc. wherever you go.

Lunography: Recording data with or about lunatics aka loons. Much information about lunatics may be noted: chemical composition, taste, temperature, pressure, direction, pollution, infestation by small sentient creatures, etc. And writing with lunatics is quite pleasurable. One favorite method is to tranquilize them, implant a small radio transmitter, and track their movements through time and space. You'll likely encounter many lunatics as you travel; indeed, you may become looney yourself. HA!

- M -

Mammography: Recording data with or about breasts, especially human. This is a specialized subfield of Biography or Necrography. Recordings OF breasts are fascinating. Recording WITH breasts is fulfilling; various methods of Photography and Sonography may be employed, or you may merely attack colored crayons or pens to the breast(s) for drawing on paper or canvas. You will likely encounter many breasts on your travels; you should record with or of them all, dead and/or alive.

Microencephalography: Recording data with or about pinheads. Recor­ding pinheads may fall into the realms of Biography or Cephalography or Mammography or Necrography, among other methods. But take special note of Pinhead Photography, not to be confused with Pinhole Photo­graphy except when some pinheads use pinholes.

PINHOLE PHOTOGRAPHY involves use of a lensless camera, where the photo aperture is a mere pinhole. The effect is of the widest possible wide-angle lens, but much slower. Depth-of-field is nearly infinite, with objects immediately adjacent being as sharp as the most distant; nearby objects seem to loom. Image angle may be nearly 180° and is limited only by the edges of the photographic film or paper. Exposure time is necessarily long. Except in studio environments, every pinhole photograph is an experiment.

---

PINHEAD PHOTOGRAPHY is widely displayed; a great many photos on the WWWeb were taken by pinheads, but not so many are taken of or using them. A pinhead may be used as a model, as a tripod (stationary or moving), as a background, as a doorstop or windbreak, or as a critic. Indeed, many critics are pinheads, as are religious and political and athletic and artistic enthusiasts. Take care when taking their pictures ('stealing their souls').

Mimeography: Recording data with or about mimes. Recording mimes (or pantomimes) may fall into the purview of Biography or Mammography or Necrography. Recording the sound of mimes results in performances of John Cage's 4'11". Recording their images (dead or alive, clothed or nude, moving or still) may be more rewarding. Using mimes as recording devices may be optimized via High-Voltage Electrography but stand back.

Monstrography: Recording data with or about monsters. This may fall into the realms of Biography or Cephalography or Necrography. But monsters are especially fascinating to work with, as we all have a bit of monster within us, unless we're really boring. You'll find many monsters as you travel; indeed, you may become monstrous yourself.

- N -

Necrography: Recording data with or about dead things, especially people. Much information about dead things, especially people, may be noted: chemical (de)composition, temperature, pressure, direction, pollution, infestation by small sentient creatures, etc. And writing with dead things, especially people, is quite pleasurable.

NOTE: Necography should not be confused with Necrophilia, a desire to have sex with dead things, which is immoral and disgusting, although quite common within marriage in some cultures. You may encounter quite a few dead things as you travel; you should endeavour to record them all but DON'T have sex with them unless they're all your budget allows.

- O -

Oceanography: Recording data with or about oceans. This is a specia­lized subset of Hydrography. Much information about oceans may be noted: location, chemical composition, temperature, pressure, direction, pollution, infestation by small sentient creatures, etc. And writing with oceans is quite pleasurable, especially when the salt crystals condense upon drying. Immerse someone in ocean water, wait for them to dry, and lick off their skin in artistic patterns. Then have them do this to you.

Orthography: Recording data with or about things at right angles. The term also refers to spelling words correctly, but that is irrelevant here. It is very important to observe and note right angles, and to ensure that they are really square and true. Recording with right angles is best done with a sharp knife, especially against a body part. So many body parts are NOT set at right angles, so be sure to mark and cut firmly.

- P -

Pantography: Recording data with or about pants (trousers). Much information about pants (trousers) may be noted: chemical composition, temperature, color, taste, texture, style, size, cost, etc. And writing with pants (trousers) is quite pleasurable, whether on or off a human torso. One may dip them in paints or inks and flail them against a canvas; or one may dip them in petrol or alcohol, set them alight, and film the dancing patterns created by the wearers. Never wear pants (trousers) yourself when you travel. Kilts, skirts and bikini briefs are much airier.

Pedography: Recording data with or about feet, or children, or children's feet. This is a specialized sub-field that may fall under the purview of Biography or Necrography, and may be pursued with methods similar to Pantography since children's feet are often inked or burnt. Use of High-Voltage Electrography may also be fruitful and rewarding.

Philography: Recording data with or about things and/or people you like. If there exists nothing and nobody that is at all like like you, disregard this section. Otherwise, do unto them as you would have them do unto you, only more so. You may or may not encounter anything or anyone some­what like yourself as you travel, God forbid. Try looking into a mirror.

Phonography: Recording data with or about phonemes (word sounds) or any uttered sounds. This is a specialized sub-field of Sonography that deals with sounds originated by hominids or their synthetic creations. Recording data ABOUT phonemes is a sub-field of Lexicography but without the paper; recording data WITH phonemes is generally useless, since deconstructivists don't think they mean anything. But they only travel to academic conferences, so fuck'em if they can't take a joke.

Photography: Recording data with or about photons or, more generally, visible electrons. The literature on Photography is too voluminous to cite here. Start by reading my PHOTO-PENSEÉS, then see the sections here on Electrography and Lomography and Microencephalography. If your haven't time for ordinary photos, try Time-Lapse Photography, where you just snap the shutter whenever time allows.

Kodachrome
Gives us the nice bright colors
Gives us the greens of summer
Makes us see all the world's a sunny day, O yeah
I got a Nikon camera
I love to take a photograph
So Mama, don't take my Kodachrome away
  —Paul Simon

Phrenography: Recording data with or about cranial bumps. Much information about cranial bumps may be noted: chemical composition, temperature, color, taste, texture, shape, size, cost, etc. And writing with cranial bumps is quite pleasurable. Try poking them with sharp pins, immersing in salt water, then observe the reactions of nearby sharks.

Pornography: Recording data with or about prostitutes or other sexually active entities (pornês). Much information about pornês may be noted: chemical composition, temperature, color, taste, texture, shape, size, cost, etc. And writing with pornês is quite pleasurable, but only profes­sionals should be employed. New technologies allow direct brain implants that transmit their educated sensations directly to the observer; these remain costly, but products of competant pornês are quite profitable.

Psychography: Recording data with or about psychos or psyches or psychics. Not to be confused with Cephalography, which fails to deal with the inner life of the mind. Psychics are notoriously difficult to record objectively, but most psyches and psychos present no such problem. Once again, direct brain implants are the best tools.

Pyrography: Recording data with or about fire. Sensors recording the heat, color, patterns, etc are rather obvious. Long ago I performed a Bonfire Sonata exploiting primitive technology. You can do much more now. Recording data WITH fire is especially exciting, such as when you torch entire sections of cities and/or nations. Many world leaders have worked in this exciting field, with or without traveling themselves.

- R -

Radiography: Recording data with or about radio waves, ie any electro­magnetic vibration that isn't visible. The term is often applied to specific applications of XRays but is appropriate to the rest of the EMS (electro-magnetic spectrum) also. Writing with radio waves, especially high-power beams directed at skin, can produce startling effects. Different skins in different countries may react differently; conduct experiments.

Reflexography: Recording data with or about muscle reflexes. Another specialized sub-field of Biography. You can record all the usual data about muscle reflexes. To record WITH muscles, insert pins or needles that inject electricity, acids, astringents or other chemicals, then record the needles' movements, for instance with time-lapse Photography. Record the varying reflex motions of residents of all the lands you visit.

- S -

Selenography: Recording data with or about the interior of the Moon. To do this properly, the Lunar interior must be gouged out mercilessly. Use giant Waldo Hands (tm) for this purpose. Pretend that you're scooping brains out of a reluctant skull, but on a larger scale and in a vacuum. Practice with foreign brains and portable vaccuums. True Selenography can only be done ON the Moon, so sign up early with NASA or ESA.

Solanography: Recording data with or about the sun (Sol) or guys named Sol. As you travel, you'll meet many guys named Sol. As with Selenography, material must be scooped out from the interior of Sol. Sol may protest a bit, but remember that you're doing this in the name of Science (or Art or Religion or whatever), and ends justify means.

Solonography: Recording data with or about Solon or other lawmakers. A specialized sub-field of Biography, similar to Solanography. The usual data ABOUT lawmakers can be recorded: chemical composition, size, shape, texture, taste, intelligence (if any), scent, etc. To record data WITH lawmakers, techniques of Phrenography and High-Voltage Electrography are recommended. For instance, restrain a number of lawmakers in harnesses, wire them up electrically, apply varying voltages and currents, and capture the exuded fluid patterns on canvas or paper.

Sonography: Recording data with or about sounds. Much data about sounds may be recorded: location, intensity, pitch(es), duration, damage, meaning. Recording WITH sounds was formerly performed with analog physical and electrical devices but is now primarily digital, which purists maintain loses much of the detail and ambiance. The true connoisseur employs both (or more) methods simultaneously, no matter the expense, because the sounds you DON'T consciously hear may be as important as those you DO apprehend. Record sounds wherever you go.

SUBSONICS are sounds that, in frequency and/or volume, lie below the range of normal human hearing. Amplification and/or time compression can bring these into the audible range, either for comprehension or to provide an unconscious background to affect the listeners in subtle ways. Certain VERY LOUD subsonics are good for crowd control and other administrative uses.

---

SUPERSONICS are sounds that, in frequency and/or volume, lie above the range of normal human hearing. De-amplification and/or time expansion can bring these into the audible range, for effects similar to SUBSONICS. Amplified supersonics may be detrimental to the listener, which may also be desired. Supersonics in foreign countries may be tight controlled; check local laws.

Splenography: Recording data with or about spleens. This is another specialized sub-field of Biography. You can record all the usual data about spleens. To record WITH spleens, remove all or a portion of a spleen, especially from a resident of your travel destination, grind it up (the spleen, not the resident), mix with color tints, and use as a paint. Blowing air on the resultant image is called VENTING YOUR SPLEEN but that's another subject. Splenetic art is currently in vogue in London.

- T -

Telegraphy: Recording data with or about or on long wires. There's much more to Telegraphy than just Morse Code, more than just use as a data-transmission medium. Artistic uses of Telegraphy can include stochastic dot-dash patterns, or high-voltage surges, or wrapping an audience in wires and applying high-voltage surges, etc. Surely, you can think of something other than recording the characteristics of the data being transmitted, right? Right? (Yes, but don't call me Shirley!)

Teleography: Recording data with or about goals or final purposes. Doing data ABOUT metaphysical goals is pretty straightforward: what are those goals and how can they be reached? Doing data WITH such goals is much trickier and subtler, and should only be attempted by qualified logicians standing naked in loaded bathtubs holding electric appliances that may or may not fall into the water, depending on divine will. Be careful.

Thermography: Recording data with or about heat. Data about heat is rather simple: source, intensity, quality, etc. Writing with heat usually utilizes magnifying glasses in the sun, or squirted petroleum products, or cheap printers. You will likely encounter much heat as your travel, so be creative and think up new ways to use it.

Topography: Recording data with or about places. You'll probably go to many places on your journeys, so you should familiarize yourself with methods of plotting your location and/or using your location to plot yourself. Using places as recording media is complicated, and remember: the map is not the territory, and vice-versa.

- U -

Uranography: Recording data with or about or on Uranus. Be very very careful when dealing with Uranus, as the ejecta can be harmful or at least disconcerting. While superficially resembling Selenography, the procedure for scooping-out materials for study is somewhat different. Chemicals may be applied internally to promote ejection. Then there was the constipated mathematician who worked it out with a pencil. But I digress. Uranus will follow you wherever you travel, so be prepared for anything.

Urography: Recording data with or about urine. This is a specialized sub-field of Hydrography but with more emphasis on chemical composition. Urine production can be promoted by chemical, electrical, psychic, and physical means, often to great artistic and/or scientific effect. Many great people and/or their products have been filled with and/or immersed in urine. You will encounter many forms of urine in your travels, and may even be required to contribute some of your own for certain inquiries, in which case you should always keep a quantity on hand.

- V -

Venerography: Recording data with or about venereal diseases. Much of the usual data about VDs can be recorded: species, compositon, size, color, taste, odor, temperature, meaning, etc. Using VDs as a recording medium is much more esoteric. Different mixes of VDs can express mood, intention, strategy, etc. The transmission of VDs can also exhibit artistic patterns. You'll likely encounter many VDs as you travel. Don't miss any.

Volcanography: Recording data with or about volcanos and/or their products. This is a specialized sub-field of Geography with an admixture of Thermography. A unique way to use volcanics as a recording medium is to channel lava flows to specific locations for artistic or political or religious purposes. The experience of Pompeii and Herculaneum shows that volcanic products make excellent body-casting materials.

- X -

Xenography: Recording data with or about foreigners. As you travel, you will encounter quite a few foreigners. Even if you stay at home, foreigners might come up to you. Be prepared. Keep your knives, electrodes and acids close at hand. Whenever a foreigner opens its mouth at you, start recording with it. But don't let foreigners practice xenography upon you unless they are qualified and certified. Always check their credentials.

Xerography: Recording data with or about or in nothing. This is one of the most difficult areas of graphic recording. Much has been written and recorded about the quantity ZERO and the concept of NIHILITY or NOTH­INGNESS, but nothing is ever done with them except to produce dramas where nothing much happens. If you are truly creative, you will produce a seminal work in this area. Otherwise, you are nothing.

NOTE: Xerography shouldn't be confused with Xeroxography, the semi-photographic process of recording data with or about copies of anything. Xerox (tm) is a protected trademark and must be used with care. Xerox (tm) copies are analog and thus prone to pollution by noise and distortion. Digital copies are much better, being indistinguishable from the original. But sometimes noisy copies are desired, for artistic or political purposes.