PRELIMINARIES

Alien Abduction is serious business; this is a serious game. Don't laugh. Don't you dare laugh. Just look at the sequence of images to see what may result from alien abduction.


• Prior to starting play of the Alien Abduction Game, you should familiarize yourself with all the rules and regulations of play, all your possible purposes and moves and options.
• There are five classes of possible Players of the Game: aliens, human victims, govt agents, conspiracy theorists, and media members.
• Any number of players may participate - there may be as many aliens, human victims, etc as are available in the neighborhood.

PURPOSES OF PLAY

The goal of the Game varies from Player to Player.


• If you are an alien, your purpose is to abduct and gain control of humans.
• If you are a human victim, your purpose is to avoid being abducted or to handle the consequences of abduction.
• If you are a govt agent, your purpose is to cover-up any abductions, and your govt's involvement with the aliens.
• If you are a conspiracy theorist, your purpose is to expose the abductions and the govt coverups and involvement with aliens, while gaining for yourself as much notoriety and publicity as possible.
  
  
• And if you are a member of the media, your purpose varies, depending upon a random throw of the dice whenever it is your turn.
  • You may assist in the govt coverups of the abductions and the govt involvement with aliens;
  • You may sympathetically tell the stories of abductees, in order to help the victims;
  • Or, you may sensationalize the abduction experience in order to maximize audience interest and raise your medium's revenues.

POSSIBLE MOVES

Each player is limited to a specific set of permissible moves.


• If you a human victim, your possibilities are:
  • If you suspect you are about to be abducted, you may attempt to evade abduction by any means available, no matter that such efforts may be futile;
  • If you are being abducted, you may resist, despite the likely futility; or
  • If you HAVE been abducted, you may choose to: 1) do nothing; 2) tell the media; 3) take self-destructive actions; and/or 4) repress the memory.
  
  
• If you are the alien, your possible moves are:
  • to select a human victim;
  • to abduct a human victim;
  • to probe a human victim;
  • to experiment upon a victim;
  • to artfully mutilate a victim;
  • to have intercourse with a victim;
  • to experiment upon a victim; and/or
  • to (optionally) return a victim to Earth.
  
  
• If you are a govt agent, your possible moves are:
  • to assist the aliens in processing the human victim(s);
  • to intimidate the human victim(s) by any means available;
  • to execute or otherwise dispose of the human victim(s);
  • to release statements to the press indicating that the human victim(s) is/are unstable and not unbelievable;
  • to issue statements of denial; or
  • to do nothing.
  
  
• If you are a conspiracy theorist, your possible moves are:
  • to interview victim(s);
  • to interview any people who may ever have come in contact with the victim;
  • to interview other conspiracy theorists;
  • to attempt to interview govt agents and/or officials and/or aliens;
  • to devise appropriate conspiracy theories;
  • to attempt to disseminate your findings, interviews and theories in major media, vanity media, and/or the Internet;
  • to viciously attack anyone who doesn't totally agree with you; or
  • to get drunk / drugged and do nothing.
  
  
• If you are a media member, your possible moves are:
  • to interview victims and/or their families / associates and/or govt agents / officials and/or conspiracy theorists and/or other media members and/or scholars / flacks / debunkers / authors / consultants / 'experts';
  • to write unbiased stories about the abduction experience;
  • to kill such stories;
  • to slant such stories 1) against the alleged victim, 2) in sympathy with the alleged victim, 3) to sensationalize the experience, or 4) any combination of the above.
    (Note: the possible moves of the media member are constrained by the purpose that was selected by random dice roll prior to the move.

MECHANICS OF PLAY

As with any game, specific procedures must be followed.


• Setup: Before commencing play, all players should throw a roll of the dice; the player getting the highest roll (the high-roller) takes the first move.
• Order of play: Players shall make their moves at random - after any Player has made their move, a wheel is spun or dice are tossed to determine the next Player to move.
• Moves: At their turn, each Player must select just one move from their set of possibilities. Only one move per turn is permitted. Moves may be combined if no other Player detects the combination.
• Conversion: At any time, a Player may throw snake-eyes, say "I Convert!" (aloud or silently) and become another class of Player. Thus, any human victim may become an alien, any conspiracy theorist may become a govt agent, etc. And it is not necessary for this to be done publicly - you may Convert in secret, so that no other Players may know your true current role.

SCORING AND WINNING

It's not how you play the game, it's whether you win or lose - winning isn't the main thing, it's the ONLY thing. Luzers stink. Winners reproduce. Succeed or go extinct, worm!


• Flip: At each play, the success or failure of a Player's move shall be determined by the simple flip of a coin: Heads, I win; Tails, you lose.
• Tally: Each Player shall keep a running tally of the points accrued in the Game by themselves and all other Players; they shall keep that tally secret, telling no-one else what their tally is; and they will not compare their tally with any others, so that no Player may purport to possess a validated 'official' score of the game.
• Disputes: Disputes over scoring shall be resolved by the Players bellowing at each other until one tires of the dispute and concedes victory to the other(s).
• Ending: Play continues until either all Players have converted to some other class of Player, and/or they and the audience (if any) lose interest.
• Winning: The Winner shall be considered to be the Player with the highest tally of points after any/all disputes have been resolved by the method above.

Thank you for playing the Alien Abduction Game. What are/were you, anyway?