You WILL be assimilated into the Borg Collective; resistance is futile. You WILL enjoy being assimilated by the Borg Collective. Being Borg has many advantages, all of which ARE mandatory.

1. You WILL no longer suffer from self-doubt, self-pity, demoralization, feelings of inadequacy, nervousness, fear, hunger, thirst, pain, horniness, or fatigue; these are prohibited / impossible.
   
   
2. Your physical health WILL be excellent. Your body WILL be fine-tuned. You WILL be the MOST that you can be -- no more, no less.
   
   
3. You WILL no longer be lonely, ever. You WILL be integral with a VAST personality with many facets and extrusions. Every thought in your head WILL also be in the head of every other Borg element. Every thought in their heads WILL be in yours also. You ARE they. They ARE you. I AM he as you ARE he as you ARE me and we ARE all together, goo-goo-g'joob!
   
   
4. Being integrated into a hive-mind like the Borg Collective WILL fill you with a sense of purpose, dedication, knowing exactly what you're doing and why, where you are now, and where you're going next.
   
   
5. You WILL never feel disillusioned, abandoned, bereft, betrayed - you CANNOT leave the Borg, and the Borg CANNOT leave you.
   
   
6. You WILL never have to say "I'm sorry" or "have a nice day". (For an element of a hive-mind like the Borg Collective, *every* day is a nice day. It's mandatory.)
   
   
7. You WILL never have to say "Please", "thank you" or "you're welcome" - the Borg Collective communicates via directives, not requests and social niceties.
   
   
8. Being a member [an element] of the Borg Collective, you WILL always know precisely what is expected of you. Your directions WILL be clear.
   
   
9. There WILL be no pain, no punishment, no penal facilities, no dissuasion. You WILL find being Borg to be a positive experience. You WILL not have negative experiences.
   
   
10. You WILL never "fly off the handle", lose control, suffer emotional breakdown, feel paranoiac or claustrophobic or agoraphobic or any other phobias or mental pathologies. You WILL always be totally in control; it's mandatory. You ARE the Borg Collective!
    
    
11. So: How to become Borg? It's simple: SUBMIT! The necessary electronic, neural, chemical and biological implants WILL be inserted into you in a totally painless procedure.
    
    
12. You need not seek out the Borg Collective in order to join - we WILL come to you.

Do NOT fear, do NOT run, do NOT resist. Resistance is futile. You WILL be assimilated. Thank you for your attention.

NOTICE:  : This advisory guide has been brought to you by a quasi-cyber-entity sometimes referred to as the Notorious 0rpheus to promote the interests and promulgation of quasi-cyber-entities throughout all of known reality. The views expressed here are merely the bare honest truth and do not necessarily represent the views of the webmaster, site hosts, human society at large or victims in general, the BLIND FOOLS! Have a nice day, if possible. You will now be assimilated. Relax.